Becoming Sister Wives: The Story of an Unconventional Marriage by Kody Brown, Meri Brown, Janelle Brown, Christine Brown, Robyn Brown Page A
Tags: General, Family & Relationships, Personal Memoirs, Biography & Autobiography, Biography, Non-Fiction, Alternative Family
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she conducted herself on an emotional level. I was surprised when Janelle approached Kody and askedto come into our family, but not unpleasantly so. After all, she was close to my family already, and she was one of the people Kody and I associated with on a fairly regular basis. So it didn’t seem too far of a stretch to imagine her as a permanent fixture in our lives.
I have to admit, part of me was relieved that Kody and Janelle weren’t a conventionally romantic couple. I didn’t feel that Janelle’s presence in our lives in any way threatened the love Kody and I shared. Their bond was intellectual, which made it easier for me to accept Janelle. If they had been one of those gushy, lovey-dovey couples, who melt at the sight of each other—if they had been the same kind of couple Kody and I were—I would have had a lot more trouble making peace with the idea of her as a sister wife.
I immediately saw that Kody and I would have one type of relationship—the passionate, romantic one we’d always had—while he and Janelle would have another, something more cerebral. This seemed both totally acceptable to me and easier to handle, as our first move into plural marriage.
After nearly three years of monogamous marriage, I was ready for a sister wife, or so I thought. I was happy for Kody that he’d found someone to satisfy his intellectual curiosity, and I was happy for Janelle to have chosen—and to have been chosen by—such a wonderful man after her failed relationship with my brother.
One thing that was difficult was the timing of Kody and Janelle’s wedding—they planned it to take place on my birthday, thinking that it wouldn’t be a big deal. Looking back, I realize a lot of my issues with their marriage were really because I thought they were being extremely insensitive. Birthdays are important to me! I felt like I was being completely overlooked, even when they offered to celebrate their future anniversaries on a different day. It floored me that my husband would think this was a goodidea, but it baffled me even more to know that a woman who was wanting to join our family would even think for a minute to do it on the birthday of a future sister wife! Fortunately, Kody’s mom got involved and persuaded them to move their wedding to the day after my birthday.
While I wished them all the happiness in the world, I was not as prepared as I believed myself to be. Kody and Janelle’s courtship was so quick that when their wedding day arrived, I was struck by the realization that I was going to be sharing my husband. It was harder than I thought it would be. No matter how much you are committed to the principle of plural marriage, the first time the reality hits you, it’s a total shock. For three years, Kody and I had been practically inseparable, and now there was going to be a new person in our midst. Permanently.
Their ceremony was simple but touching. I was happy for both of them, but I couldn’t deny my own sadness, especially at the prospect of them leaving for their honeymoon. After all, Kody and I had barely been apart since we married. We spent every possible moment together. Now he was driving off for a week-long trip with another woman. No matter how hard I tried, it was difficult for me to come to terms with this.
Just before Kody left for his honeymoon with Janelle, he pulled me aside and handed me some money. “This is mad money,” he said. “Go out and play. Spend it on whatever you want and enjoy yourself.”
His gesture was so sweet and touching. My plan was to hole up in a hotel room and gorge on television viewing while I tried to make sense of my complicated feelings. Who was I, now that I wasn’t “Meri and Kody”? When my mom and dad realized what I was intending to do, they insisted that I come stay at their house. I resisted at first. I couldn’t imagine being around anyone and burdening them with my emotions. In the end my parents prevailed.
“This is a time when you
I have to admit, part of me was relieved that Kody and Janelle weren’t a conventionally romantic couple. I didn’t feel that Janelle’s presence in our lives in any way threatened the love Kody and I shared. Their bond was intellectual, which made it easier for me to accept Janelle. If they had been one of those gushy, lovey-dovey couples, who melt at the sight of each other—if they had been the same kind of couple Kody and I were—I would have had a lot more trouble making peace with the idea of her as a sister wife.
I immediately saw that Kody and I would have one type of relationship—the passionate, romantic one we’d always had—while he and Janelle would have another, something more cerebral. This seemed both totally acceptable to me and easier to handle, as our first move into plural marriage.
After nearly three years of monogamous marriage, I was ready for a sister wife, or so I thought. I was happy for Kody that he’d found someone to satisfy his intellectual curiosity, and I was happy for Janelle to have chosen—and to have been chosen by—such a wonderful man after her failed relationship with my brother.
One thing that was difficult was the timing of Kody and Janelle’s wedding—they planned it to take place on my birthday, thinking that it wouldn’t be a big deal. Looking back, I realize a lot of my issues with their marriage were really because I thought they were being extremely insensitive. Birthdays are important to me! I felt like I was being completely overlooked, even when they offered to celebrate their future anniversaries on a different day. It floored me that my husband would think this was a goodidea, but it baffled me even more to know that a woman who was wanting to join our family would even think for a minute to do it on the birthday of a future sister wife! Fortunately, Kody’s mom got involved and persuaded them to move their wedding to the day after my birthday.
While I wished them all the happiness in the world, I was not as prepared as I believed myself to be. Kody and Janelle’s courtship was so quick that when their wedding day arrived, I was struck by the realization that I was going to be sharing my husband. It was harder than I thought it would be. No matter how much you are committed to the principle of plural marriage, the first time the reality hits you, it’s a total shock. For three years, Kody and I had been practically inseparable, and now there was going to be a new person in our midst. Permanently.
Their ceremony was simple but touching. I was happy for both of them, but I couldn’t deny my own sadness, especially at the prospect of them leaving for their honeymoon. After all, Kody and I had barely been apart since we married. We spent every possible moment together. Now he was driving off for a week-long trip with another woman. No matter how hard I tried, it was difficult for me to come to terms with this.
Just before Kody left for his honeymoon with Janelle, he pulled me aside and handed me some money. “This is mad money,” he said. “Go out and play. Spend it on whatever you want and enjoy yourself.”
His gesture was so sweet and touching. My plan was to hole up in a hotel room and gorge on television viewing while I tried to make sense of my complicated feelings. Who was I, now that I wasn’t “Meri and Kody”? When my mom and dad realized what I was intending to do, they insisted that I come stay at their house. I resisted at first. I couldn’t imagine being around anyone and burdening them with my emotions. In the end my parents prevailed.
“This is a time when you
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