Because of Lucy by Lisa Swallow

him? He has a blue scarf wrapped around his neck, his long hair touching the edge. His cheeks are pink from the cold and there’s a natural happiness in his face; as if the weight of whatever follows him has gone for today.
    “You’re good at this,” I say.
    “At what?”
    “Picnics. Most guys wouldn’t have any idea - I’d have a bag of crisps and a can of coke.”
    His eyebrows dip. “I’ve always liked picnics. I just copy what we used to have when I was a kid.”
    “We never really did the whole picnic thing.”
    “Then we’ll have to go on plenty to make up for it.”
    He passes me a sandwich and the connotation of his words come with the bread. More time together.
    “Thanks,” he says, picking up a sandwich of his own.
    “For?”
    “Agreeing to come out with me. I didn’t want you to think I was one of those guys.”
    “I knew what sort of guy you were when I chose to do it, Evan.”
    He shakes his head. “Did someone hurt you? In the past? You have a low opinion of me. Of guys.”
    I rub my eyes. “No more than usual teen break ups.”
    “Maybe part of growing up involves accepting people make mistakes, life is more complicated.”
    “That’s very deep.”
    “Perhaps I should transfer to Psych.” He smiles, a tug at one corner. “What I mean is, we’re all finding our way. And sometimes we get lost.”
    “So you got lost the day you never called me back?”
    Pouring a drink into both cups, Evan sips from one. “Yeah, like I said, I fucked up when I didn’t call you so I guess I did. But I’m glad you let me find you again.”
    Evan chews on his lip as he looks at me, brown eyes clear. Not turning on seductive charms or trying to impress me. Honesty.
    The night I met Evan in the kitchen, the chances of ever being here having an intelligent conversation were zero. The day I slept with him, the idea he’d do more than notch me on his bedpost remained with me. But he’s reaching out to me, connecting with me. And I don’t know why. All relationships are inexplicable, every person we meet fated, but where fate leads I don’t know. My tendency to over think needs tucking away.
    “Are you saying you want to get to know me?” I ask him.
    “Yes, as I said weeks ago. Nothings changed.”
    “Will you let me get to know you?”
    Evan shifts in his seat and picks at his food. “I guess. If you want to.”
    I place a gloved hand on his. “It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.”
    He looks up at me under his lashes. “Poetry?”
    “No, probably read it on a Facebook status. But it sounds good, hey?”
    We share a smile of understanding; his hand curls around mine and squeezes. “Yeah, sounds good.”
    At the end of the afternoon, we walk back to the car. I don’t want to leave this beautiful town, the idea of a looming evening at the battery farm is unappealing. A day chatting with Evan crystallized the reality of my life. I’m isolating myself with the wrong choices. Lack of interaction at work has pulled me into myself. And Evan’s pulling me out.
    “Ness.”
    Evan lets go of my hand as we approach the car and stops.
    “Are you okay?” I ask, turning to him.
    Evan reaches a hand out and strokes my cheek with the back of his hand. My breath catches as he pulls me towards him with his other arm. Evan bends his head towards me, touching his lips ever so gently on mine before pulling away again.
    “You are an amazing person,” he says.
    “You hardly know me.” One touch of his lips and my heart rate has doubled.
    “I wish I had your strength, to turn away and keep away from things that hurt you.”
    I suddenly see a little boy with pain in his eyes and realize he will let me get to know him. Hidden Evan. Not knowing what to say, I brush my finger against his lips and smile. There’s a rawness to the emotion in his face and voice which drags me into him. A gravitational pull into his life I never expected.
    I never intended to, but I place