in the chest. What the hell did I do? “Leaving?”
“Yeah, saving up and traveling.” I think she catches the confusion in my eyes. “I planned this before. Before us. I mean, before this.”
I pull my mask back on and smile in encouragement. “Where are you going? Sounds interesting.”
Ness launches into an excited speech about her plans for the future. Every part of her transforms with the enthusiasm she has for her idea - I’ve never seen Ness’s face so animated, eyes so bright. But I understand. Her choices - the job - drag her down, and I realize I haven’t been getting to know the real Ness at all. And I’m jealous. Really bloody jealous. She can have whatever she wants; her past is escapable. Hell, her past will pay for her escape.
“Must be nice,” I say when she pauses.
“What?”
“Having money.”
Her hands, which waved around, painting pictures of her adventures, stop. “I earn my money.” Her animated features settle into hard lines.
“You mean no-one’s going to pay for your trip?”
“By no-one do you mean my parents?”
“You’re going to save it all?”
Ness turns her unimpressed look to me. “Is that beyond the realm of possibility.”
Misunderstanding. Jealousy. Irritation. And we’re back to this. I’ve lost her; her face clouds and she takes a drink.
“It doesn’t matter.” I take a drink too and consider how deeply I’ve put my foot in it.
“What do you think of me, Evan?” she asks.
“It’s probably best we don’t keep going with this conversation. Forget it.”
I wish I’d bitten my tongue, not let my hurt take over . Cra p . It’s not like we’re a real couple.
“This is very reminiscent of the first time I spoke to you. I thought we’d got past categorizing each other. But what am I? Still see me as Daddy’s princess?”
“No, I think you’ve got an insecurity about your past, if you were a princess I doubt you’d be working in a call center. I don’t think of you that way.”
“What about you? Your past? What’s your big insecurity following you around? What’s your secret, Evan?”
Ness has her eyes fixed on me now, and I know deep inside my stomach this is more than an argument about our past lives. Something is behind her uneasy silence today.
“Don’t,” I warn her.
“Then don’t ask me to open up to you.” She drinks her beer in several gulps. “I think I should go.”
I put my hand on hers. “Ness? What’s going on?”
With impeccable timing, my phone rings. Ness glares at it, then at me. “Answering it?”
“No.”
She stands and I catch her arm. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to upset you. I just reacted badly to you saying you were leaving. You took me by surprise.”
“We hardly know each other still. Like this. What’s this all about? Every day.” Ness gestures at the phone.
The phone rings again and I cancel the call.
“What about you? Haven’t you done the same? Pigeon holed me?” I ask.
She snorts. “Into a guy that screws around because he has abandonment issues?”
I curl my fingers around my phone, the metal crushing into my palm. “Too far, Ness.”
Ness leans over the table, breathing heavily. Her bright eyes startle me. “Well, you screwed me and never got in touch.”
My ringtone interrupts my answer.
“Answer it, for fucks sake! What is your issue with phones?” she snaps.
I cancel the call and slam the phone on the table, blown away by her. And where this came from. The last time I fought with a girl, she was a blubbering mess within seconds. Ness is poking straight into my wounds, exposing her own at the same time without realizing. The way she’s looking at me now, I could do the cliché thing they do in chick flicks - lean across the table and kiss her, tell her I want her, tell her all my secrets. The thing is, I don’t think Ness is a chick flick kind of girl. She sits back on the stool. The tension between us is tight, I’m willing her not to leave. Because I’m not
“Yeah, saving up and traveling.” I think she catches the confusion in my eyes. “I planned this before. Before us. I mean, before this.”
I pull my mask back on and smile in encouragement. “Where are you going? Sounds interesting.”
Ness launches into an excited speech about her plans for the future. Every part of her transforms with the enthusiasm she has for her idea - I’ve never seen Ness’s face so animated, eyes so bright. But I understand. Her choices - the job - drag her down, and I realize I haven’t been getting to know the real Ness at all. And I’m jealous. Really bloody jealous. She can have whatever she wants; her past is escapable. Hell, her past will pay for her escape.
“Must be nice,” I say when she pauses.
“What?”
“Having money.”
Her hands, which waved around, painting pictures of her adventures, stop. “I earn my money.” Her animated features settle into hard lines.
“You mean no-one’s going to pay for your trip?”
“By no-one do you mean my parents?”
“You’re going to save it all?”
Ness turns her unimpressed look to me. “Is that beyond the realm of possibility.”
Misunderstanding. Jealousy. Irritation. And we’re back to this. I’ve lost her; her face clouds and she takes a drink.
“It doesn’t matter.” I take a drink too and consider how deeply I’ve put my foot in it.
“What do you think of me, Evan?” she asks.
“It’s probably best we don’t keep going with this conversation. Forget it.”
I wish I’d bitten my tongue, not let my hurt take over . Cra p . It’s not like we’re a real couple.
“This is very reminiscent of the first time I spoke to you. I thought we’d got past categorizing each other. But what am I? Still see me as Daddy’s princess?”
“No, I think you’ve got an insecurity about your past, if you were a princess I doubt you’d be working in a call center. I don’t think of you that way.”
“What about you? Your past? What’s your big insecurity following you around? What’s your secret, Evan?”
Ness has her eyes fixed on me now, and I know deep inside my stomach this is more than an argument about our past lives. Something is behind her uneasy silence today.
“Don’t,” I warn her.
“Then don’t ask me to open up to you.” She drinks her beer in several gulps. “I think I should go.”
I put my hand on hers. “Ness? What’s going on?”
With impeccable timing, my phone rings. Ness glares at it, then at me. “Answering it?”
“No.”
She stands and I catch her arm. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to upset you. I just reacted badly to you saying you were leaving. You took me by surprise.”
“We hardly know each other still. Like this. What’s this all about? Every day.” Ness gestures at the phone.
The phone rings again and I cancel the call.
“What about you? Haven’t you done the same? Pigeon holed me?” I ask.
She snorts. “Into a guy that screws around because he has abandonment issues?”
I curl my fingers around my phone, the metal crushing into my palm. “Too far, Ness.”
Ness leans over the table, breathing heavily. Her bright eyes startle me. “Well, you screwed me and never got in touch.”
My ringtone interrupts my answer.
“Answer it, for fucks sake! What is your issue with phones?” she snaps.
I cancel the call and slam the phone on the table, blown away by her. And where this came from. The last time I fought with a girl, she was a blubbering mess within seconds. Ness is poking straight into my wounds, exposing her own at the same time without realizing. The way she’s looking at me now, I could do the cliché thing they do in chick flicks - lean across the table and kiss her, tell her I want her, tell her all my secrets. The thing is, I don’t think Ness is a chick flick kind of girl. She sits back on the stool. The tension between us is tight, I’m willing her not to leave. Because I’m not
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