not sad, it’s just who I am. I’m not really the hearts and flowers kind of guy. You have to forgive me. I’m usually gone at this point.”
“I know you can be sweet. I’ve seen you with those kids.”
“Those kids are my life. I love them like they’re mine.”
“So what we just did is the last time?” She grins down at me and I can tell she’s hoping for the same thing I am--round two. I feel that safe I keep my heart hiding in crack open a little, and even though it’s scary, I welcome it.
“Well, maybe just one more time.”
Chapter 11
AVA
The next morning comes way too quickly, but I wake up naked in Josh’s bed, and he’s sound asleep next to me, snoring lightly. And it’s the most comforting noise to listen to and I never want to do without it again. Each time I move the soft fabric of his sheets makes my sensitive nipples want more contact. Other parts of me want more, too.
The last thing he said to me before he tucked me close to him and closed his eyes keeps replaying over and over in my head. “Ava, don’t think I forgot how you shot out of that bar like a bat out of hell and then attacked me. I’m not asking right now because I don’t want to ruin this night for you, but when the time comes, I expect answers.” I have no idea what to tell him, but I’ll worry later about coming up with something that will ease his worries. Right now I’m too comfy in the warmth of his protective arms.
Since I feel so cozy and safe it’s hard not to drift off. Each time I go to roll over, he just pulls me back in without even waking. It’s like he can feel me moving away and isn’t having it. I settle in, my back to his front and wrap my hand around his and pull it up to my chin and allow myself to finally close my eyes. Honestly, I expected a quick kick to the curb after he found out and got what he wanted, so it’s a very nice surprise to see he has a heart somewhere inside that massively, beautiful chiseled chest of his.
The sound of a toilet flushing startles me awake, but then I remember where I am. I reach up to stretch, cracking my neck from side to side and settle into his pillow. I take a deep breath, taking Josh’s scent in, making sure it’s real. I consider pinching myself, but I’m too afraid to ruin the moment. I’m lying here in the bed of the hottest man I’ve ever seen grace the Earth, and how he totally took my virginity and my heart all at once. Ever since the pond and the babysitting, I know the feelings he brings out in me are real. Last night proved it beyond my imagination. I know Sam would’ve been the easy, and probably the best choice to help with my gigantic virginity problem, but he doesn’t turn me into a pool of gooey mess every time he looks at me, like Joshua Woods does.
Josh is probably going to leave me in the dust, which’ll probably crush me—hard. Josh is the smart choice. Sam is too sensitive and would probably never forgive me if I did make a wrong decision. Sam has feelings for me. It’s obvious in the way he looks at me. I can’t bring myself to give him what he wants. If I need to run, ever, I won’t feel as bad about taking off on Josh and breaking my own heart in the process. He already told me he doesn’t have one. I’ll have to learn to live with not knowing if he cares about me, too. He doesn’t love and hasn’t since he lost his heart all those years ago. He’s a player, pure and simple. Heck, he even admitted to it. Snuggling deeper into his pillow I feel a touch of regret. I’d hesitate to run away if I thought for a second I was hurting Josh and then I could lose everything, including my own life if they find me.
Josh walks out of his bathroom with a toothbrush dangling from the corner of his mouth and is only wearing his low-slung jeans.
I want to bury my head under the covers, because it’s morning and I’m slightly embarrassed that he’s seen me naked. No one has ever come close to seeing what I tend to keep under
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