I’m not exactly one of Them, am I? Whatever. What ever . I don’t know why I told you. You’re too totally self-involved to give a rat’s smelly ass about anything except yourself.”
“Nuala.” James didn’t raise his voice, but the intensity of it changed in such a way that he might as well have shouted. “Let me tell you a charming bedtime story. It’s been barely two months since I got out of the hospital. I spent my summer getting my head nailed back together and my lungs stitched up.” My eyes went to the scar above his ear, new and barely disguised in his hair, and my mind thought of the meaningless scar on my hipbone—not meaningless to James, or it wouldn’t be there.
James continued. “They crushed my car, my amazing car that I spent every summer of my teenage life fixing until it was perfect . They ruined my best friend’s life, they damn near killed me, and we’ve got nothing to show for it but scars and you sitting next to my bed.”
I stared at him.
He stood up, looked me straight in the eye, and crossed his arms. He was so tragically brave; the gold sparks inside him were so bright that I almost stumbled with wanting. “So yeah. Tell me, Nuala, why I should give ‘a rat’s smelly ass’ about anything other than myself right now?”
I didn’t have an answer.
He turned around and grabbed a brown hoodie from the end of his bed, a dismissive gesture.
I blurted out, “Because I can see Them and you can’t.”
James stopped moving. Just like that. He didn’t jerk or react in anyway: he just stopped. A long, long pause. By the time he turned around to face me, tugging the hoodie over his head, he was himself again. “One of your many talents. I think I’ve seen enough of y’all to last a lifetime. No offense to you and your”—he gestured toward me—“developments.”
My lip curled. “I’d argue the opposite. Where is it you’re running to so fast?”
James jammed on his sneakers, his face rueful. We both knew he was running out to see the thorn king.
“I don’t know what you want from me.” James brushed past me as if I was nothing. Like I was just one of the other people in his life. He didn’t care about any of them but stupid Dee, who didn’t give a crap about him. “I’m never going to say yes.”
He opened the door and pulled it shut behind him. Softly. I would’ve slammed it. I wanted to slam it now. For several long minutes I stood in his room, imagining him following his nightly routine of sneaking out through one of the first floor windows so that he didn’t have to pass by Sullivan’s room.
I could give up. I could find some other boy who glowed with golden promise and steal life from him, but what good would it do? I only had until Halloween anyway. Even if I didn’t find another boy, I probably wouldn’t die before then; it hadn’t been that long since the last one, right? The fact was, I had absolutely nothing to lose. The fact was, I wanted him .
I whirled out the window into the dark blue sky, floated along on the abstract thoughts of humans, and found James, a small warm glow crouching in the dry golden grass of the hills. He must’ve felt me as I knelt quietly beside him, but he didn’t say anything as I slowly became visible, the cold evening air biting at my skin as I did.
Angrily, I ripped up a big handful of grass and began to tear the blades into small pieces. I had once watched a faerie pull a human apart, back when I was younger. Or newer, anyway. The human had drained a marsh behind his house and inadvertently killed the faeries who lived in the water. The faerie who lived in his well had come out long enough to drag the human to the old marsh and tear him apart. I’d asked what his crime was, if he hadn’t known the faeries were in the marshes? Ignorance is no defense for a crime, the faerie had hissed at me, all gills and hair. That was when I first realized that I was different from other faeries.
Mercy, that was what they
“Nuala.” James didn’t raise his voice, but the intensity of it changed in such a way that he might as well have shouted. “Let me tell you a charming bedtime story. It’s been barely two months since I got out of the hospital. I spent my summer getting my head nailed back together and my lungs stitched up.” My eyes went to the scar above his ear, new and barely disguised in his hair, and my mind thought of the meaningless scar on my hipbone—not meaningless to James, or it wouldn’t be there.
James continued. “They crushed my car, my amazing car that I spent every summer of my teenage life fixing until it was perfect . They ruined my best friend’s life, they damn near killed me, and we’ve got nothing to show for it but scars and you sitting next to my bed.”
I stared at him.
He stood up, looked me straight in the eye, and crossed his arms. He was so tragically brave; the gold sparks inside him were so bright that I almost stumbled with wanting. “So yeah. Tell me, Nuala, why I should give ‘a rat’s smelly ass’ about anything other than myself right now?”
I didn’t have an answer.
He turned around and grabbed a brown hoodie from the end of his bed, a dismissive gesture.
I blurted out, “Because I can see Them and you can’t.”
James stopped moving. Just like that. He didn’t jerk or react in anyway: he just stopped. A long, long pause. By the time he turned around to face me, tugging the hoodie over his head, he was himself again. “One of your many talents. I think I’ve seen enough of y’all to last a lifetime. No offense to you and your”—he gestured toward me—“developments.”
My lip curled. “I’d argue the opposite. Where is it you’re running to so fast?”
James jammed on his sneakers, his face rueful. We both knew he was running out to see the thorn king.
“I don’t know what you want from me.” James brushed past me as if I was nothing. Like I was just one of the other people in his life. He didn’t care about any of them but stupid Dee, who didn’t give a crap about him. “I’m never going to say yes.”
He opened the door and pulled it shut behind him. Softly. I would’ve slammed it. I wanted to slam it now. For several long minutes I stood in his room, imagining him following his nightly routine of sneaking out through one of the first floor windows so that he didn’t have to pass by Sullivan’s room.
I could give up. I could find some other boy who glowed with golden promise and steal life from him, but what good would it do? I only had until Halloween anyway. Even if I didn’t find another boy, I probably wouldn’t die before then; it hadn’t been that long since the last one, right? The fact was, I had absolutely nothing to lose. The fact was, I wanted him .
I whirled out the window into the dark blue sky, floated along on the abstract thoughts of humans, and found James, a small warm glow crouching in the dry golden grass of the hills. He must’ve felt me as I knelt quietly beside him, but he didn’t say anything as I slowly became visible, the cold evening air biting at my skin as I did.
Angrily, I ripped up a big handful of grass and began to tear the blades into small pieces. I had once watched a faerie pull a human apart, back when I was younger. Or newer, anyway. The human had drained a marsh behind his house and inadvertently killed the faeries who lived in the water. The faerie who lived in his well had come out long enough to drag the human to the old marsh and tear him apart. I’d asked what his crime was, if he hadn’t known the faeries were in the marshes? Ignorance is no defense for a crime, the faerie had hissed at me, all gills and hair. That was when I first realized that I was different from other faeries.
Mercy, that was what they
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