Awake by Riana Lucas Page B

with child was so far from my mind it took some time for the reality to set in.” A bright smile lights her face now, as if she is hearing the news for the first time again.
    I do not join in on her sudden delight. Instead, I feel my brow furrow in confusion. How could she be happy about this? My own stomach rolled and I had to fight nausea at just the idea of living through such a horrific event. My misunderstanding must be apparent because the queen's smile dims slightly and she gives a nod of her head before explaining.
    "I know you're thinking this all sounds crazy. How could I be happy over what happened to me? I was angry at first, furious actually. I demanded my guards to prepare for battle. I intended to storm the unseelie castle and kill every last one of them. Without a second in command, my guards were ready to do my bidding. But then one of my advisors stepped in and reminded me of the losses we had suffered and that we needed time to rebuild our army in order to stand a chance against King Foxglove. I agreed. Once my focus returned to my court, the reality of having a child set it. I became so excited. My court rejoiced and celebrated the miracle of a new life amongst all of the death and destruction that had befallen our court. And when the baby finally arrived…” She trails off, gazing into the distance. Staring off at nothing, she remembers aloud. “She was so beautiful. I loved her from the first moment I was aware of her, but when I laid my eyes upon her for the first time…” Shaking her head, she turns her attention back to me once again and says more harshly now, “I vowed to protect my child with everything I had until the day I drew my last breath.” Tears begin to flow down her cheeks now, surprising me by the sudden change of emotion and leading me to believe this story does not end well.
    â€œI failed her,” she whispers and begins to weep openly.
    Looking to Willow for support, I find she is silently crying as well. Unsure of what to do, I glance over at Holly. I do not know why I thought she could be of some help: instead of trying to console the queen, she is staring daggers at me once again, as if all of this was my fault. How could this be my fault?
    At an utter loss over what to do, I look to the queen once again. The stream of tears has slowed, and she is now wiping the tears from her face with a white linen napkin. Sniffing a few times as she composes herself, she again looks me in the eye. “One morning, when she was a few years old, I was called to the training room to provide some support for my new second-in-command as he trained the warriors. I never liked to leave my beautiful baby girl’s side, but I was still a queen and duty still called. We had been out in the east garden playing games. Sure I would be gone only for a moment, I left her with servants to tend to her until I returned. I was gone a bit longer than planned but returned as fast as I could. When I did, she and the servants were gone. The entire court searched for days but never found her. There were no traces of her or of what happened to her. It was as if she vanished.”
    She paused, wiped her eyes once more, and looked up at me. When she did, her eyes glowed with joy. “That is, until one year ago. I received word from some of my spies in the unseelie court. First, I heard rumors and tales, but these were followed by facts. There was an unseelie warrior fae, who was fierce and beautiful. She fought and served the unseelie king with such loyalty that she didn’t question anything. But she had the most beautiful, mesmerizing, soft green eyes. She had the eyes of her mother.”
    She looked at me with such delight and hope in her eyes then. I did not know what to say. My mind was telling me what she was trying to say, but I could not believe it. This was not possible. There was no way.
    I shook my head at my thoughts and at her. Then I looked over at Willow, who