reminded me just how much I missed her food. I took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.
“Who is it?” Mama called out.
“It’s me Mama,” I answered, sheepishly.
“Assariyah, is that really you?” she asked, fidgeting around with the locks.
“Yeah Mama it’s me,” I replied.
The door swung open and Mama was standing there. She looked so beautiful with her glowing cinnamon complexion and berry lips. She threw her arms around me, giving me a really tight hug, I hugged her back. I felt so good being wrapped up in Mama’s embrace once more.
“I have missed you so much baby,” she said, stroking my hair and kissing my cheeks.
“I’ve missed you too, Ma.”
Snapping abruptly she pushed me away and landed a huge slap across my face.
“Where the hell have you been Assariyah? Do you have any idea what you have put me through for the past year? I have been worried sick about you and you didn’t even have the decency to let me know that you were okay. Not even a single phone call from you Assariyah.”
“I know Mama and I’m so sorry for not calling but I was too ashamed to face you after what happened at the wedding.”
“That’s the problem with you, you are always too busy thinking about yourself and too selfish to take anyone else’s feelings into consideration. You know I am all by myself. Thank God for Nayla, otherwise I don’t know where I would be.”
“I’m sorry Ma.”
She raised her hand, “Just stop! Sorry, sorry, sorry that is all I ever hear coming out of your mouth.”
“Ma, I admit I was wrong for the way I handled things but you cannot make me feel any worse than I already do. I did not come here for a lecture so I guess I’ll come back another time.”
“Yes go ahead Assariyah, do what you do best, run away when the going gets tough. Let me tell you something though you cannot keep on running forever. Eventually things finally catch up with you and overflow. So go if you want to but the problem still remains.”
She was right, I had to deal with this now or it would only get harder. I followed her into the kitchen and prepared myself for the heat. I sat still and watched Mama as she poured a bag of white rice into the tomato sauce that was on the cooker, anticipating what she would say next.
“So where have you been hiding all this time Assariyah?”
“I haven’t been hiding Ma, I just needed some time to sort things out and work out what I really want from life.”
She stopped stirring the rice and diverted her attention back to me.
“And what have you figured out Assariyah?”
I didn’t have an answer so remained silent.
“You know Cameron came here looking for you.”
“He did, when?” I asked, totally stunned.
“About six weeks after the wedding. He mentioned something about you stopping by his place and him being too hard on you. He assumed that you would be staying here and wanted to talk. I tried calling your phone but it was disconnected and you never called home so I had no way of contacting you.”
Her words struck a chord in my heart, my eyes filled up with tears. Oh my God, Cam came to see me, he wanted to talk but I was so busy running that I ended up running away from the one person that I really wanted to be with. He still loved me, maybe he was willing to give me a second chance and make things work.
I couldn’t stop the tears from falling.
“There is no need crying over spilt milk Assariyah. The truth is that man loved you dearly and you could have had it all, if you never sweated it all. Now please set the table for dinner.”
I didn’t blame Ma for being hard on me. She was never one to mince her words but I couldn’t help but think of how different my life could have been with Cam. I knew for sure that I would never have got caught up in the whole escort game. I could have avoided all the drama and pain I had been through but she was right, thinking shoulda, coulda, woulda was pointless now. It was far too late. I was pregnant
“Who is it?” Mama called out.
“It’s me Mama,” I answered, sheepishly.
“Assariyah, is that really you?” she asked, fidgeting around with the locks.
“Yeah Mama it’s me,” I replied.
The door swung open and Mama was standing there. She looked so beautiful with her glowing cinnamon complexion and berry lips. She threw her arms around me, giving me a really tight hug, I hugged her back. I felt so good being wrapped up in Mama’s embrace once more.
“I have missed you so much baby,” she said, stroking my hair and kissing my cheeks.
“I’ve missed you too, Ma.”
Snapping abruptly she pushed me away and landed a huge slap across my face.
“Where the hell have you been Assariyah? Do you have any idea what you have put me through for the past year? I have been worried sick about you and you didn’t even have the decency to let me know that you were okay. Not even a single phone call from you Assariyah.”
“I know Mama and I’m so sorry for not calling but I was too ashamed to face you after what happened at the wedding.”
“That’s the problem with you, you are always too busy thinking about yourself and too selfish to take anyone else’s feelings into consideration. You know I am all by myself. Thank God for Nayla, otherwise I don’t know where I would be.”
“I’m sorry Ma.”
She raised her hand, “Just stop! Sorry, sorry, sorry that is all I ever hear coming out of your mouth.”
“Ma, I admit I was wrong for the way I handled things but you cannot make me feel any worse than I already do. I did not come here for a lecture so I guess I’ll come back another time.”
“Yes go ahead Assariyah, do what you do best, run away when the going gets tough. Let me tell you something though you cannot keep on running forever. Eventually things finally catch up with you and overflow. So go if you want to but the problem still remains.”
She was right, I had to deal with this now or it would only get harder. I followed her into the kitchen and prepared myself for the heat. I sat still and watched Mama as she poured a bag of white rice into the tomato sauce that was on the cooker, anticipating what she would say next.
“So where have you been hiding all this time Assariyah?”
“I haven’t been hiding Ma, I just needed some time to sort things out and work out what I really want from life.”
She stopped stirring the rice and diverted her attention back to me.
“And what have you figured out Assariyah?”
I didn’t have an answer so remained silent.
“You know Cameron came here looking for you.”
“He did, when?” I asked, totally stunned.
“About six weeks after the wedding. He mentioned something about you stopping by his place and him being too hard on you. He assumed that you would be staying here and wanted to talk. I tried calling your phone but it was disconnected and you never called home so I had no way of contacting you.”
Her words struck a chord in my heart, my eyes filled up with tears. Oh my God, Cam came to see me, he wanted to talk but I was so busy running that I ended up running away from the one person that I really wanted to be with. He still loved me, maybe he was willing to give me a second chance and make things work.
I couldn’t stop the tears from falling.
“There is no need crying over spilt milk Assariyah. The truth is that man loved you dearly and you could have had it all, if you never sweated it all. Now please set the table for dinner.”
I didn’t blame Ma for being hard on me. She was never one to mince her words but I couldn’t help but think of how different my life could have been with Cam. I knew for sure that I would never have got caught up in the whole escort game. I could have avoided all the drama and pain I had been through but she was right, thinking shoulda, coulda, woulda was pointless now. It was far too late. I was pregnant
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