Asperger's and Girls by Mary Wrobel, Lisa Iland, Jennifer McIlwee Myers, Ruth Snyder, Sheila Wagner, Tony Attwood, Catherine Faherty, Temple Grandin Page B
Authors: Mary Wrobel, Lisa Iland, Jennifer McIlwee Myers, Ruth Snyder, Sheila Wagner, Tony Attwood, Catherine Faherty, Temple Grandin
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information. Learning the basics about menstruation and learning to take care of themselves during their periods may be more than enough for girls to handle at this stage in their lives. Nonetheless, all of this instruction may take time, so be prepared to repeat lessons. Encourage them to ask questions, quiz them on what will happen and what they need to do.
Prepare girls for the discomforts of menstruation. We don’t often think about cramping, bloating, menstrual headaches and PMS until we actually have those discomforts. But girls with Asperger’s may not associate those problems with getting their periods, and we can’t assume they will make that connection, or be able to problem-solve on their own, when they have various menstrual difficulties. Discuss with your daughter or student the various problems that could arise and give her specific solutions for dealing with them.
Privacy and discretion are important components of menstrual hygiene and need to be a part of the puberty curriculum. For example, we don’t announce to mixed company that we are wearing pads or have our period. We don’t necessarily show people our pads and tampons—certainly not to boys and teachers. We can discuss our periods with girlfriends, Mom and the school nurse, but not with boys and adult males, other than perhaps our father. Understanding what’s socially appropriate with regards to menstruation can be hard, and the rules can change depending upon the circumstances. We need to anticipate the various scenarios and address the social rules about menstruation, including possible exceptions to the rules, with our daughters and students. The more prepared they are for demonstrating privacy and discretion with their menstruation, the more socially appropriate they will be when they are having their periods.
It is socially appropriate for teenage girls to shave their legs and underarms. Girls who don’t shave are likely to be teased and humiliated. Most neurotypical girls decide to shave on their own, but the idea of shaving may not occur to girls with Asperger’s. At some point before high school, parents will need to explain the reasons for shaving and carefully instruct their daughters on leg and underarm shaving. Step-by-step instruction and practice is essential before having girls take over this task on their own.
Problem-solving can always be a challenge for students with Asperger’s. Anticipate the problems they may have regarding their periods and generate appropriate solutions for them, so they will be prepared before an actual problem arises. For example, if they get their period at school and are unprepared with the necessary pads or tampons what should they do? If they accidentally stain their panties/clothing while at school, what should they do? If they develop severe cramping while away from home, what can they do? Establishing a female buddy at school who can help them out with any of these problems is always helpful, and in some cases necessary. Think about what they will need when they are away from home and how they should carry their feminine products. If your daughter doesn’t have a purse or is not in the habit of carrying one, now is the time to instill the routine use of a purse.
Teaching Sex Education
Once your daughter or student is able to manage her menstrual hygiene on her own in a discreet and socially appropriate manner, then you can continue with her sex education.
I have always felt that it is important to educate students with Asperger’s about sex education in high school, even though most of their neurotypical peers already know this information. By the time they reach high school, most girls with Asperger’s are ready to learn about sex education, whereas earlier it may have been meaningless or too difficult to understand. As teenagers, they are typically more prepared, and mature enough, to comprehend this information. And often, given the social pressures of high school, they will need to
Prepare girls for the discomforts of menstruation. We don’t often think about cramping, bloating, menstrual headaches and PMS until we actually have those discomforts. But girls with Asperger’s may not associate those problems with getting their periods, and we can’t assume they will make that connection, or be able to problem-solve on their own, when they have various menstrual difficulties. Discuss with your daughter or student the various problems that could arise and give her specific solutions for dealing with them.
Privacy and discretion are important components of menstrual hygiene and need to be a part of the puberty curriculum. For example, we don’t announce to mixed company that we are wearing pads or have our period. We don’t necessarily show people our pads and tampons—certainly not to boys and teachers. We can discuss our periods with girlfriends, Mom and the school nurse, but not with boys and adult males, other than perhaps our father. Understanding what’s socially appropriate with regards to menstruation can be hard, and the rules can change depending upon the circumstances. We need to anticipate the various scenarios and address the social rules about menstruation, including possible exceptions to the rules, with our daughters and students. The more prepared they are for demonstrating privacy and discretion with their menstruation, the more socially appropriate they will be when they are having their periods.
It is socially appropriate for teenage girls to shave their legs and underarms. Girls who don’t shave are likely to be teased and humiliated. Most neurotypical girls decide to shave on their own, but the idea of shaving may not occur to girls with Asperger’s. At some point before high school, parents will need to explain the reasons for shaving and carefully instruct their daughters on leg and underarm shaving. Step-by-step instruction and practice is essential before having girls take over this task on their own.
Problem-solving can always be a challenge for students with Asperger’s. Anticipate the problems they may have regarding their periods and generate appropriate solutions for them, so they will be prepared before an actual problem arises. For example, if they get their period at school and are unprepared with the necessary pads or tampons what should they do? If they accidentally stain their panties/clothing while at school, what should they do? If they develop severe cramping while away from home, what can they do? Establishing a female buddy at school who can help them out with any of these problems is always helpful, and in some cases necessary. Think about what they will need when they are away from home and how they should carry their feminine products. If your daughter doesn’t have a purse or is not in the habit of carrying one, now is the time to instill the routine use of a purse.
Teaching Sex Education
Once your daughter or student is able to manage her menstrual hygiene on her own in a discreet and socially appropriate manner, then you can continue with her sex education.
I have always felt that it is important to educate students with Asperger’s about sex education in high school, even though most of their neurotypical peers already know this information. By the time they reach high school, most girls with Asperger’s are ready to learn about sex education, whereas earlier it may have been meaningless or too difficult to understand. As teenagers, they are typically more prepared, and mature enough, to comprehend this information. And often, given the social pressures of high school, they will need to
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