lips asking, “What are butter—”
Mom interrupts to scold Wade. “Wade, hush now. None of that ill-mannered nonsense around the dinner table.” She shakes her head and returns to her plate, “And in front of a guest, no less.”
Chapter 27
Jade
The sky’s blackness is speckled with stars. So many stars. Connor’s wisps of light compete for my attention, too. I smile. Connor insisted on walking me home, as did his mom, so we take to the street and walk silently through town toward Nanan’s.
“I’m sorry my truck is still broken.” He says finally. “I feel bad I can’t drive you home.” He doesn’t look up at me; he just eyes the pavement, his shoulders hunched forward in their near-permanent position.
“No, don’t worry about it.” I say. “I prefer walking.” I look out toward the houses casting their yellow lights onto the lawns. Some people have their shades up, so I can actually look inside and see their intimate, private moments—a couple sitting in front of a TV huddled close together as if the heat doesn’t touch them, a family of five holding hands in prayer at a dinner table before eating, an old man shuffling around, moving things in his kitchen. I would feel guilty for spying on them, but it’s all too beautiful to feel guilty about.
“Sorry about my family.” Connor’s voice pulls me out of my lull, my unrelenting curiosity of it all. I almost forget he is walking next to me, he is so silent.
“What are you talking about?” I say. “Your family is great!”
He shrugs. His presence seems to intrude upon me as I become more aware of the mass of him—his height, the width of his shoulders, the stride that looks a bit off, but is graceful when is in full motion, the hair that hangs over his eyes, how his arms swing, nearly grazing my own. He kicks over a rock and draw up his arms, crossing them across his chest. The whole of him so close, yet he feels so far away. Like he is a world away and there is something missing in him, something sad lingering about him. It reminds me of his mother, so alive and gorgeous, but with something very different simmering under the surface that only the occasional watery glaze of her eyes would reveals right before she blinks the wetness away.
“Your mother is beautiful.” I remember how the light caught on her hair but how that light was nowhere near the grace and brightness of her smile.
“You’re…” I barely hear him speak and turn my head toward him. But he just shakes his head and doesn’t finish whatever he was about to say. He clears his throat. “I think Jesse has a crush on you.”
I laugh nervously. The feel of Dominic’s cool arms around me comes to mind. I crinkle my nose. The thought of someone being attracted to me brightens my insides in a strange, unfamiliar way, but it dissipates quickly. No one could be attracted to me. Not someone as wretched, no, as wicked, as me. “Doubt that.”
He shrugs again. “Listen, Jade. I am sorry about last night. You came to me and needed help and I didn’t give it to you.”
“No worries.” I smile. “I mean, you didn’t even have a truck with wheels on last night. How can you feel badly about that?”
“Yeah, but, you looked, so, I don’t know… worried.”
Nanan’s lights are on. Connor’s pace slows slightly. We walk up the pathway and I feel a strange pull backward as if Connor is a magnetic force willing me to slow down, for the evening not to end just yet. But I don’t know why. We reach the door and I raise my hand to stick the key below the doorknob.
“Um.” Connor says and clears his throat. It seems awkward, rehearsed.
I look at him. He wearily shifts his weight, head down, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets. “Were you going to say something?”
“I—uh no.” He shakes his head. He exhales loudly, sounding defeated. About what? I don’t know.
“Thanks for walking me home.” I say turning the key.
“No problem.” He says. “Thanks for
Mom interrupts to scold Wade. “Wade, hush now. None of that ill-mannered nonsense around the dinner table.” She shakes her head and returns to her plate, “And in front of a guest, no less.”
Chapter 27
Jade
The sky’s blackness is speckled with stars. So many stars. Connor’s wisps of light compete for my attention, too. I smile. Connor insisted on walking me home, as did his mom, so we take to the street and walk silently through town toward Nanan’s.
“I’m sorry my truck is still broken.” He says finally. “I feel bad I can’t drive you home.” He doesn’t look up at me; he just eyes the pavement, his shoulders hunched forward in their near-permanent position.
“No, don’t worry about it.” I say. “I prefer walking.” I look out toward the houses casting their yellow lights onto the lawns. Some people have their shades up, so I can actually look inside and see their intimate, private moments—a couple sitting in front of a TV huddled close together as if the heat doesn’t touch them, a family of five holding hands in prayer at a dinner table before eating, an old man shuffling around, moving things in his kitchen. I would feel guilty for spying on them, but it’s all too beautiful to feel guilty about.
“Sorry about my family.” Connor’s voice pulls me out of my lull, my unrelenting curiosity of it all. I almost forget he is walking next to me, he is so silent.
“What are you talking about?” I say. “Your family is great!”
He shrugs. His presence seems to intrude upon me as I become more aware of the mass of him—his height, the width of his shoulders, the stride that looks a bit off, but is graceful when is in full motion, the hair that hangs over his eyes, how his arms swing, nearly grazing my own. He kicks over a rock and draw up his arms, crossing them across his chest. The whole of him so close, yet he feels so far away. Like he is a world away and there is something missing in him, something sad lingering about him. It reminds me of his mother, so alive and gorgeous, but with something very different simmering under the surface that only the occasional watery glaze of her eyes would reveals right before she blinks the wetness away.
“Your mother is beautiful.” I remember how the light caught on her hair but how that light was nowhere near the grace and brightness of her smile.
“You’re…” I barely hear him speak and turn my head toward him. But he just shakes his head and doesn’t finish whatever he was about to say. He clears his throat. “I think Jesse has a crush on you.”
I laugh nervously. The feel of Dominic’s cool arms around me comes to mind. I crinkle my nose. The thought of someone being attracted to me brightens my insides in a strange, unfamiliar way, but it dissipates quickly. No one could be attracted to me. Not someone as wretched, no, as wicked, as me. “Doubt that.”
He shrugs again. “Listen, Jade. I am sorry about last night. You came to me and needed help and I didn’t give it to you.”
“No worries.” I smile. “I mean, you didn’t even have a truck with wheels on last night. How can you feel badly about that?”
“Yeah, but, you looked, so, I don’t know… worried.”
Nanan’s lights are on. Connor’s pace slows slightly. We walk up the pathway and I feel a strange pull backward as if Connor is a magnetic force willing me to slow down, for the evening not to end just yet. But I don’t know why. We reach the door and I raise my hand to stick the key below the doorknob.
“Um.” Connor says and clears his throat. It seems awkward, rehearsed.
I look at him. He wearily shifts his weight, head down, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets. “Were you going to say something?”
“I—uh no.” He shakes his head. He exhales loudly, sounding defeated. About what? I don’t know.
“Thanks for walking me home.” I say turning the key.
“No problem.” He says. “Thanks for
Similar Books
