our friendship if this doesn’t work out’, or even ‘you are from Mars and I am from Venus’. Once I had even employed my mom’s sensitivity to caste difference as an excuse, though I would suggest you reserve that for the more serious break-ups.
By the way if you think this is all crap and I am fussing over nothing, I suggest you check out rejectionhotline.com . It is a social service to the million of heart-breakers who suffer like me and a fine example of business in the yet unexplored field of PPO, Personal Process Outsourcing. I actually used their hotline to get rid of this get-a-clue challenged desi, back in Michigan. When he called thefake number I had given him, he was humorously, though not so subtly, informed of my non-interest.
Basically rejection is a highly skilled art, very similar to faking an orgasm. You need to pretend a little, maybe even moan a few times, so as to massage the man’s ego but be tactful enough not to bare yourself completely and reveal the ugly truth. I know you think I am lucky. I agree. I haven’t had to reject men often. Maybe not exactly single digit, but certainly very few, especially compared to poor Neha. She has had to indulge in binge eating every now and then in guilt, both for rejecting and faking.
However, none of my previous showdown experiences seemed applicable in Deep’s case. I barely knew him and this was a setting done by our parents. Neha would vouch that fade away works well in the hardly-any-commitment sort of relationship that I had with Deep. Reduced texting, emails, infrequent phone calls and no hanging out. The guy eventually gets the hint. But I guess it’s rather tricky to ignore your boss. Tanu di’s signature deferral seemed perfect for Deep, but it was not personalized enough. Besides, this was my only chance at rejecting an IITian and I wanted to do it with style, without hurting my FB access. If only I could buy myself a BlackBerry, I would have been spared all this work. But I knew Dad had blown all his savings on the South Africa vacation and Mom would probably want to buy one for herself first so she could nurture her crops while in school.
Feeling the bra band digging into my skin, I shifted in my chair, re-adjusted the height and loosened the chair back a bit more. Then leaning down on the chair in a relaxed, beach position, I surveyed my surroundings. A couple of late-nighters were dozing off on their desks, but the bulk of the employees who availed the office cab facility were not due for another half an hour. I had reached office early today and was glad to get this quiet alone time to engage in some serious soul-searching.
‘How to reject your boss,’ I had barely typed in my google search bar, when I heard his sultry, seductive voice.
‘Coffee?’
Wearing a green striped shirt and khaki trousers, adjusting the lock of black hair that had fallen on his forehead, he stood at the cubicle entrance.
I stood up before he could sneak a peek at my monitor, discreetly closed the browser window with my left hand and followed him out.
There was no one else in the coffee room. ‘Should I deliver the blow now?’ I pondered silently.
He poured a cup of coffee, handed it to me and started pouring another for himself.
No, morning was not a good time for rejections, I decided. We had just started the day and he could take the frustration out on me. End of the day was bad too as it wouldn’t give me any time to gauge his reaction. Some time during the latter half should be good, I concluded. That way I will also get time to work on my strategy during the first half.
‘Deep in thought?’ he asked, looking intently into my eyes, as he took a sip of his cappuccino.
Oh! yeah, he was very much in my thoughts right now, but I was not going to let him fool me with a double entendre this time. ‘I was just thinking about the cleanest way to handle deep …’ I said, pausing intentionally in order to out-pun him.
He gave me the confused,
By the way if you think this is all crap and I am fussing over nothing, I suggest you check out rejectionhotline.com . It is a social service to the million of heart-breakers who suffer like me and a fine example of business in the yet unexplored field of PPO, Personal Process Outsourcing. I actually used their hotline to get rid of this get-a-clue challenged desi, back in Michigan. When he called thefake number I had given him, he was humorously, though not so subtly, informed of my non-interest.
Basically rejection is a highly skilled art, very similar to faking an orgasm. You need to pretend a little, maybe even moan a few times, so as to massage the man’s ego but be tactful enough not to bare yourself completely and reveal the ugly truth. I know you think I am lucky. I agree. I haven’t had to reject men often. Maybe not exactly single digit, but certainly very few, especially compared to poor Neha. She has had to indulge in binge eating every now and then in guilt, both for rejecting and faking.
However, none of my previous showdown experiences seemed applicable in Deep’s case. I barely knew him and this was a setting done by our parents. Neha would vouch that fade away works well in the hardly-any-commitment sort of relationship that I had with Deep. Reduced texting, emails, infrequent phone calls and no hanging out. The guy eventually gets the hint. But I guess it’s rather tricky to ignore your boss. Tanu di’s signature deferral seemed perfect for Deep, but it was not personalized enough. Besides, this was my only chance at rejecting an IITian and I wanted to do it with style, without hurting my FB access. If only I could buy myself a BlackBerry, I would have been spared all this work. But I knew Dad had blown all his savings on the South Africa vacation and Mom would probably want to buy one for herself first so she could nurture her crops while in school.
Feeling the bra band digging into my skin, I shifted in my chair, re-adjusted the height and loosened the chair back a bit more. Then leaning down on the chair in a relaxed, beach position, I surveyed my surroundings. A couple of late-nighters were dozing off on their desks, but the bulk of the employees who availed the office cab facility were not due for another half an hour. I had reached office early today and was glad to get this quiet alone time to engage in some serious soul-searching.
‘How to reject your boss,’ I had barely typed in my google search bar, when I heard his sultry, seductive voice.
‘Coffee?’
Wearing a green striped shirt and khaki trousers, adjusting the lock of black hair that had fallen on his forehead, he stood at the cubicle entrance.
I stood up before he could sneak a peek at my monitor, discreetly closed the browser window with my left hand and followed him out.
There was no one else in the coffee room. ‘Should I deliver the blow now?’ I pondered silently.
He poured a cup of coffee, handed it to me and started pouring another for himself.
No, morning was not a good time for rejections, I decided. We had just started the day and he could take the frustration out on me. End of the day was bad too as it wouldn’t give me any time to gauge his reaction. Some time during the latter half should be good, I concluded. That way I will also get time to work on my strategy during the first half.
‘Deep in thought?’ he asked, looking intently into my eyes, as he took a sip of his cappuccino.
Oh! yeah, he was very much in my thoughts right now, but I was not going to let him fool me with a double entendre this time. ‘I was just thinking about the cleanest way to handle deep …’ I said, pausing intentionally in order to out-pun him.
He gave me the confused,
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