ARC: Essence by Lisa Ann O'Kane

didn’t care how amazing she was, and I didn’t need to prove anything to her. I didn’t need to prove anything to anyone.
    I slipped out of the barn as quickly as I could, waving goodbye and cutting down the road toward Curry Village. Cool air swirled through the forest canopy, but the asphalt was warm, and the sun shone brightly overhead. By the time I reached Rex’s clinic, I had begun to perspire slightly.
    I couldn’t help the creep of fear that prickled through me as I wiped my temples. Perspiration and endorphins seemed to go hand in hand, and Cedar had always conditioned me to avoid both at all costs.
    Now here I was, living in a forest and sweating in the sunshine, and I couldn’t quite figure out how that made me feel.
    Uneasy, really. Panicked. And certainly ready for a proper explanation.
     
    “OK, you gotta tell me why you think Essence drain is bullshit.”
    I nearly fainted when the words left my lips. And this time, I did clasp my hand over my mouth. What was wrong with me lately?
    Rex straightened from his clipboard at the sound of my voice. Turning from the wall of cabinets in his waiting room, he smiled. “Morning, Autumn. My son warned me you were a bit of a firecracker.”
    Firecracker? His words made my stomach flip-flop. What does that even mean?
    “Would you like to have a seat?”
    I stuffed my hands in my pockets and sank to a seat in a small wooden chair. The lab to my right was darkened, but the door was slightly ajar. A faint green glow emanated from the gloom as Rex strode forward and sank into a seat across from me.
    “You’re feeling off-balance today, aren’t you?” His warmth made me feel like squirming, but his attention also reminded me of Ryder. I couldn’t decide if I liked that or not.
    “I came here because my brother died,” I said. “He was only six.”
    Rex nodded, and I continued. “I ran into Ryder in the park, and he told me you could prove the Essence theory wrong. It’s why I came here; I need to know if Brady died because he ran out of Essence or not.”
    Rex leaned back in his chair and remained silent. I paused for a second, and then I kept going. “I have been conditioned every single day of my life to believe emotions are bad. Hormones are dangerous, and exercise will kill you. And now I’m here – and it’s great you guys don’t believe that – but it’s only been a few days since I left the city, so I’m going to need more than just your word if you want me to be part of this.
    “I just finished cleaning up after animals ,” I continued, blurting out the words before he had a chance to respond. “Cedar preaches against attachments to animals, but here we are in Yosemite, and there are animals everywhere . I can’t believe I’m expected to be OK with this.”
    “You aren’t expected to be OK with this.” Rex’s voice was patient. “If you don’t like your chore assignment, we can always relocate you somewhere else. Some people just never take to livestock.”
    “But it isn’t about the animals,” I said. “It’s about trust… and transparency… and the fact that I need to know what’s actually going on out here before I decide if I want to stay or not.”
    Instead of frowning like I expected, Rex simply regarded me with a smile. “I appreciate your tenacity, Autumn,” he said. “You are already connecting to your emotions in such a powerful way.”
    Tenacity? I had only heard that word once, in reference to an Outsider my mother had once seen. He had missed his train and had stood banging his hands against its glass doors until it pulled away from the station.
    Rex stood and motioned for me to enter the lab. “Would you like to go on a tour, then? Your friend Javier just finished one himself.”
    “Javi was here?” I didn’t know why the sound of Javi’s name left me so flustered. “What was he doing here?”
    “Exactly what you’re doing.” Rex’s slow smile told me he’d probably noticed my blush. “Making sure