Anterograde by Kallysten

didn’t choose!”
    If Eli
had harbored any doubts about whose ghost was in the room with them, they’d
have vanished at those words.
    “She’s
dead, Ca l den,” Eli said, taking a cautious step toward him . “She’s been dead for almost three years, and you
know it. Think.”
    Ca l den turned wild
eyes toward him. They were circled by shadows deep enough to look like bruises.
How could he look so tired when he’d been sleeping so regularly?
    Unless…
    Eli’s
throat tightened as he realized Ca l den must have tricked him. Of course he had. The
charade had been good, very good. Pretending to go to sleep in his bed instead
of falling asleep on the sofa. Reading the diary every time he ‘woke up.’ Being
careful to ask the same questions and not show he remembered things he
shouldn’t…
    Only Calden would be so damn clever. And so damn stupid at the same time. Eli didn’t know
whether to yell at him or simply roll his eyes.
    “How
long have you been awake?” he asked, but Ca l den wasn’t listening. His attention was back on the
wall. Back on his hallucination.
    “No,
I couldn’t have,” he said again, pleading now. When he looked at Samford through
those crazed eyes, she gasped. “Say it’s not true,” he demanded. “Say you tried
your best. Say I couldn’t have done better.”
    “My…
my best ?” she stammered, pushing away from the table and getting to
her feet . “My best for what?”
    Ca l den pointed at
the blank wall . “Your best to save her. Say you didn’t let her die, Caroline.
Say it!”
    He
ended on a shout that clearly frightened Samford.
    “Let
who die ?” she asked, shaking .
“I don’t understand!”
    With
a wordless cry, Calden gripped the chair
he’d vacated and threw it at the wall before Eli could step forward and stop
him. Startled, Samford moved back, away from Calden, and doing so she tripped
backward and fell. She hit the floor
hard, her head striking the foot of the wall
behind her.
    Cursing
under his breath, Eli ran to her and knelt down . When
he cupped the back of her head , he was relieved
not to find blood, but she’d surely get a nasty bump.
    “I’m
okay,” she mumbled as he helped her sit up. “I’m fine.”
    “You’re
going to the ER ,” Eli told her firmly, then turned a glare to Ca l den. “And you
are going home and straight to bed before you hurt anyone else, you damn idiot!”
    But
Ca l den
wasn’t looking at Eli, never mind listening to him. His eyes were back to the now-dented wall
and he was shaking his head, lips moving on the same muttered words over and
over.
    “I
didn’t. I didn’t know. I didn’t choose.”
    “Ca l den?” Eli said
urgently, still kneeling by Samford.
“Calden , look at me. Riley’s not here. I
am. Look at me .”
    With
obvious difficulty, Ca l den tore his gaze away from what wasn’t there and
looked at what was instead. When his eyes fell on Samford , they
widened and he shook his head, taking a step back.
    “I
didn’t mean… Caroline , I didn’t…”
    “I’m
fine,” she said with a wavering smile. “It’s okay, Ca l den. But you
should listen to Eli and go home. Don’t you think?”
    Ca l den shook his
head again, taking another step backward until his back was to the door.
Without another word, he ran out, pushing
past the few people who had assembled there when they’d heard the commotion .
    “Ca l den!”
    Eli’s
shout remained unanswered. He started to stand, but hesitated as he considered Samford.
    “I’ll
have someone walk me down to the ER ,” she said. “Just go. Make sure he’s all right.”
    Eli
didn’t need her to repeat it. He ran after Ca l den, catching just a glimpse of
him entering the stairwell. A rush of fear coursed through him when he realized where Calden was going, and he ran faster. Why did they always have
to end up on the rooftop ?
    He
reached the roof seconds after Ca l den and could have wept in relief when Ca l den was nowhere
near the edge. Instead, he paced