wanted to tell her. He was perversely proud of her when she walked out the door of the yacht club. He saw her sailor hat wadded up in her hands.
� 90 � The Last Summer (of You and Me)
He loved her for being so beautiful, and he hated her for it. He loved how she put shiny stuff on her lips for him, and he also reviled her for it. He wanted her to walk home alone, and he wanted to run after her and grab her up before she could take another step.
Let me love you, but don't love me back. Do love me and let me hate you for a while. Let me feel like I have some control, because I know I never do.
u
She told herself she wasn't hoping when she walked onto the beach that night. She felt angry at him in a familiar way, but she could assemble no case against him. What kind of lawyer would she be?
Why did he make her feel this way? She couldn't retrace the moves that left her here. Why did she continue to want him, regardless? Why did she spend so much time trying to understand what he felt? Talk about a waste. That was the true waste.
She sat on the sand, just out of reach of the finger waves. She felt moisture creeping from the sand into her pants, but she didn't really care.
The moon was a sliver. As old as she was, Alice didn't see the moon as round. She saw it as the shape of the light, no matter that she knew better.
She lay back and rested her head in her hands. Her bed would be sandy tonight if she didn't take a shower. She stared upward and felt frustrated at the murk of constellations. She secretly suspected that all those people who claimed to see them were making it up.
� 91 � Ann Brashares
When the moon got lost in a cloud, Paul showed up. Or perhaps it was the red wine that showed up.
She was too tired and he was too drunk to make a show of sur prise. He went ahead and sat close by.
"Nice watching the waitress in action," he said.
She didn't feel like parsing his words, weighing the sarcasm against the affection.
"I hate that job," she said.
"I like it."
"You don't do it."
"I like watching you," he said.
"Better a waitress than a lawyer, you'd probably say."
"I would."
"Well. I think I stink at either," she said.
He sighed. "You try, though."
It sounded to her like an insult, but he said it nicely, so she let it go.
"Alice."
"What."
"Nothing."
She closed her eyes. She heard his breathing. A wave made it as far as her toe. The tide was coming, but she was too tired to move. It seemed okay to be swallowed up.
He lay back beside her. She liked him there, but she didn't turn her head to look at him.
When she was nearly asleep, she sensed him moving beside her, and then she felt his head on her stomach. This was what she wanted, wasn't it? He let the weight of it settle on her gradually, asking permission in his way.
� 92 � The Last Summer (of You and Me)
Was he giving in to her or getting ready to torture her some more? Maybe both.
She felt a sad longing for her sleep as it ebbed away. It was just like him to wait until she'd given up. She felt the sad acceleration of her heart, a misbehaving organ if ever there was one. She knew he could hear it, too.
She felt the weight of his head as she had years before. Heads were heavy. She breathed it up and down. She freed a hand from under her head and let it rest on his ear, his forehead, his cheek. She wasn't sure if he wanted more from her or if he wanted less.
Maybe it was both. Maybe it was always both.
u
When Riley's afternoon shift had ended at six, Adam Pryce had the idea of doing a sunset run to the obelisk with a couple of the other guards.
"Are you up to it, Riley?" he'd asked.
If she hadn't been before, she was then. She was feeling almost completely better from her sore throat.
When she got back from the run, it was nearly dark and the house was empty. Alice was working at the yacht club, she remem bered. She thought of going over there and giving Alice a hard time, but she was hungry
� 90 � The Last Summer (of You and Me)
He loved her for being so beautiful, and he hated her for it. He loved how she put shiny stuff on her lips for him, and he also reviled her for it. He wanted her to walk home alone, and he wanted to run after her and grab her up before she could take another step.
Let me love you, but don't love me back. Do love me and let me hate you for a while. Let me feel like I have some control, because I know I never do.
u
She told herself she wasn't hoping when she walked onto the beach that night. She felt angry at him in a familiar way, but she could assemble no case against him. What kind of lawyer would she be?
Why did he make her feel this way? She couldn't retrace the moves that left her here. Why did she continue to want him, regardless? Why did she spend so much time trying to understand what he felt? Talk about a waste. That was the true waste.
She sat on the sand, just out of reach of the finger waves. She felt moisture creeping from the sand into her pants, but she didn't really care.
The moon was a sliver. As old as she was, Alice didn't see the moon as round. She saw it as the shape of the light, no matter that she knew better.
She lay back and rested her head in her hands. Her bed would be sandy tonight if she didn't take a shower. She stared upward and felt frustrated at the murk of constellations. She secretly suspected that all those people who claimed to see them were making it up.
� 91 � Ann Brashares
When the moon got lost in a cloud, Paul showed up. Or perhaps it was the red wine that showed up.
She was too tired and he was too drunk to make a show of sur prise. He went ahead and sat close by.
"Nice watching the waitress in action," he said.
She didn't feel like parsing his words, weighing the sarcasm against the affection.
"I hate that job," she said.
"I like it."
"You don't do it."
"I like watching you," he said.
"Better a waitress than a lawyer, you'd probably say."
"I would."
"Well. I think I stink at either," she said.
He sighed. "You try, though."
It sounded to her like an insult, but he said it nicely, so she let it go.
"Alice."
"What."
"Nothing."
She closed her eyes. She heard his breathing. A wave made it as far as her toe. The tide was coming, but she was too tired to move. It seemed okay to be swallowed up.
He lay back beside her. She liked him there, but she didn't turn her head to look at him.
When she was nearly asleep, she sensed him moving beside her, and then she felt his head on her stomach. This was what she wanted, wasn't it? He let the weight of it settle on her gradually, asking permission in his way.
� 92 � The Last Summer (of You and Me)
Was he giving in to her or getting ready to torture her some more? Maybe both.
She felt a sad longing for her sleep as it ebbed away. It was just like him to wait until she'd given up. She felt the sad acceleration of her heart, a misbehaving organ if ever there was one. She knew he could hear it, too.
She felt the weight of his head as she had years before. Heads were heavy. She breathed it up and down. She freed a hand from under her head and let it rest on his ear, his forehead, his cheek. She wasn't sure if he wanted more from her or if he wanted less.
Maybe it was both. Maybe it was always both.
u
When Riley's afternoon shift had ended at six, Adam Pryce had the idea of doing a sunset run to the obelisk with a couple of the other guards.
"Are you up to it, Riley?" he'd asked.
If she hadn't been before, she was then. She was feeling almost completely better from her sore throat.
When she got back from the run, it was nearly dark and the house was empty. Alice was working at the yacht club, she remem bered. She thought of going over there and giving Alice a hard time, but she was hungry
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