might help. I shouldn’t
have come. I shouldn’t have…” Kate backed away. “This was a really bad idea.”
He stood also and then took her by the shoulders with both hands. “I’m being honest.”
“I’ve made us both feel all that old terribleness again. I’m sorry.” Tears came before
she felt them rising, salty puddles in the corners of her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I’m
making everything worse.”
“You know, when I first saw you standing at the game, I thought you might be coming
to tell me you found Luna. Or that you knew something about her. That’s what I was
hoping for.”
Kate dropped her head into her hands. “I should go. I’ve completely screwed this up.”
Why couldn’t she have kept it light? Talked about Bluffton and Birmingham. About old
friends and jobs. Why the hell had she ruined what had been a perfectly nice afternoon?
Jack’s face was obscured from Kate as he spoke. “I have no idea why doing the right
thing can feel so wrong and awful. But that’s what it felt like after we had Luna.
And I don’t want to ever feel that way again.” He paused and then stepped into the circle of lamppost light.
“Come on, I’ll take you to your car.” His voice was distant, as if it came from the
past to reach the place they were.
Somewhere in the middle of their conversation, evening had turned to night, and they
drove down the twisting road back to the village where Kate’s car was the only one
remaining in the baseball field parking lot. He finally spoke. “I’m glad you came.
Of course I wonder about you and how you are. But the truth is that as good as it
is to see you, being near you brings up all the awful feelings. I’ve never tried to
forget anything like I’ve tried to forget that time.”
“I shouldn’t have come here. Maybe I should have let us send yearly letters for the
rest of our lives, but something in me wanted to talk about it, to see you.”
“I understand,” Jack said, staring through the windshield.
Katie pushed her thumbs into the inside corners of her eyes, trying to stay the tears.
She would not cry in front of him. She would not make this any worse than it was.
Visiting Jack was an incredibly stupid idea. The sight of an engagement ring had obviously
made her lose all sense.
She stepped out of the truck and dug into her purse for keys. She wanted to say good-bye,
some kind of parting words that mattered, but she couldn’t find her voice. She shut
the passenger door, turning away to walk to her car, and then she spun around to return.
She opened the passenger door and placed her hands on the truck’s roof, glancing into
the cab. “I came here because I wanted to see you again, to heal whatever could be
healed.” She again shut the door and walked away.
She didn’t look over her shoulder or glance backward as the tears had come and she
wanted to get in her car, safely in her car. Her head dropped onto the steering wheel
and she groaned. She couldn’t reform the past with words and apologies and explanations.
Long minutes passed as Kate sat in her car, waiting for her tears to stop, waiting
for her mind to calm. She finally turned the key in the ignition, tuning the radio
to a country station where Rodney Atkins sang about his son, saying, “He’s mine, that one.”
Backing out of the parking spot, Kate drove toward the stop sign at the end of the
street before she realized that she didn’t know where she was going. She’d followed
Jack and now she was lost. She hadn’t seen the boutique. She didn’t have a hotel reservation.
She slammed her hand on the steering wheel. She’d made the usual mess of things.
A honk startled her, and she glanced in the rearview mirror. A black truck was on
her bumper and a man was waving at her from the driver’s seat. “I’m going. I’m going,”
she hollered, and then glanced one more time. She twisted her head and looked at Jack
have come. I shouldn’t have…” Kate backed away. “This was a really bad idea.”
He stood also and then took her by the shoulders with both hands. “I’m being honest.”
“I’ve made us both feel all that old terribleness again. I’m sorry.” Tears came before
she felt them rising, salty puddles in the corners of her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I’m
making everything worse.”
“You know, when I first saw you standing at the game, I thought you might be coming
to tell me you found Luna. Or that you knew something about her. That’s what I was
hoping for.”
Kate dropped her head into her hands. “I should go. I’ve completely screwed this up.”
Why couldn’t she have kept it light? Talked about Bluffton and Birmingham. About old
friends and jobs. Why the hell had she ruined what had been a perfectly nice afternoon?
Jack’s face was obscured from Kate as he spoke. “I have no idea why doing the right
thing can feel so wrong and awful. But that’s what it felt like after we had Luna.
And I don’t want to ever feel that way again.” He paused and then stepped into the circle of lamppost light.
“Come on, I’ll take you to your car.” His voice was distant, as if it came from the
past to reach the place they were.
Somewhere in the middle of their conversation, evening had turned to night, and they
drove down the twisting road back to the village where Kate’s car was the only one
remaining in the baseball field parking lot. He finally spoke. “I’m glad you came.
Of course I wonder about you and how you are. But the truth is that as good as it
is to see you, being near you brings up all the awful feelings. I’ve never tried to
forget anything like I’ve tried to forget that time.”
“I shouldn’t have come here. Maybe I should have let us send yearly letters for the
rest of our lives, but something in me wanted to talk about it, to see you.”
“I understand,” Jack said, staring through the windshield.
Katie pushed her thumbs into the inside corners of her eyes, trying to stay the tears.
She would not cry in front of him. She would not make this any worse than it was.
Visiting Jack was an incredibly stupid idea. The sight of an engagement ring had obviously
made her lose all sense.
She stepped out of the truck and dug into her purse for keys. She wanted to say good-bye,
some kind of parting words that mattered, but she couldn’t find her voice. She shut
the passenger door, turning away to walk to her car, and then she spun around to return.
She opened the passenger door and placed her hands on the truck’s roof, glancing into
the cab. “I came here because I wanted to see you again, to heal whatever could be
healed.” She again shut the door and walked away.
She didn’t look over her shoulder or glance backward as the tears had come and she
wanted to get in her car, safely in her car. Her head dropped onto the steering wheel
and she groaned. She couldn’t reform the past with words and apologies and explanations.
Long minutes passed as Kate sat in her car, waiting for her tears to stop, waiting
for her mind to calm. She finally turned the key in the ignition, tuning the radio
to a country station where Rodney Atkins sang about his son, saying, “He’s mine, that one.”
Backing out of the parking spot, Kate drove toward the stop sign at the end of the
street before she realized that she didn’t know where she was going. She’d followed
Jack and now she was lost. She hadn’t seen the boutique. She didn’t have a hotel reservation.
She slammed her hand on the steering wheel. She’d made the usual mess of things.
A honk startled her, and she glanced in the rearview mirror. A black truck was on
her bumper and a man was waving at her from the driver’s seat. “I’m going. I’m going,”
she hollered, and then glanced one more time. She twisted her head and looked at Jack
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