And Did Those Feet ... by Ted Dawe

intelligence, to show Satan why he was just a black goat tied to a box in the paddock while I was able to wander around doing what I liked. It wasn’t a great plan but it was all I could come up with in the space of thirty seconds or so. I would rush forward and dive into the kennel before the goat guessed what was happening.
    I turned away and wandered off a bit like I had lost interest . Pimpernel stood staring at me, knowing something was up, probably nervous on my behalf. Out of the corner of my eye I watched, waiting until the goat was occupied with a particularly tough tuft of grass, then I sprinted forward and dove into the dark hole. Next thing I knew was
clonk
! I had banged heads with Lara who had been watching me all the time from her little hidey hole.
    “Gaaaar!” she screamed.
    I was pretty stunned but I had just enough brain power to get my hind legs safely inside the goaty smelling chamber.
    “You idiot … idiot … idiot. Why did you do that?”
    I could feel a big lump coming up on my forehead. “I couldn’t see you … and I had to beat the goat.”
    “You nearly knocked me out.”
    “I nearly knocked
me
out too.”
    My
brain damage didn’t seem to matter to her. We were both crammed into this little kennel hardly able to move. It looked as if I would have to go out bum first, something I wanted to avoid at all costs.
    We waited for a while crammed tight, wondering whatto do. I managed to turn around so I was facing outwards. There was just enough room to squeeze my throbbing head along the tin roof of the kennel. My hair did a good job removing all the spider webs at the same time. Eventually we were both lying in the same direction and I could feel Lara’s breath on my face. I don’t think I had ever been so close to a girl before. It was strange and sort of exciting. Much as I wanted to get out of the smelly goat box there were good reasons for staying in there too.
    Satan came over. He lowered his head sort of casually until it filled the entire doorway. His horns were gleaming in the moonlight and his jaws were chewing hard. The kennel was swamped in goat breath. This was serious. He was a truly evil goat and now he wanted to make it clear that he had us exactly where he wanted us. He was gloating. There’s nothing worse than a gloating goat.
    “Well, Bolt Upright,” Lara said, “how are you going to get us out of this one?” She paused to let it sink in and then she said, “I know, you will tell the goat a few snappy one liners and we can make our escape while it’s laughing its horns off.”
    Her voice was full of sarcasm. I knew that she was paying me back for not respecting her Doppi story.
    “Maybe we can join the dopeys, go underground.” It was all I could manage.
    She thrashed around at this and banged my nose with the top of her head. I jerked my head back suddenly and banged it against the roof of the kennel. This rescue wasn’t going well.
    “Who’s in there?”
    It was an unfamiliar voice. I was trying to track it when Lara yelled out, “We are. Lara and Bolt Upright.”
    “Everyone’s looking for you,” said the voice. “Why don’t you come back?”
    “The goat!” I yelled. “He won’t let us.”
    “Oh,” was the response.
    A little while later the goat’s head disappeared and there was a grunting sound.
    “Come on out now. It’s okay.”
    I wriggled slowly out expecting some trick to be played on me and to feel goat hooves on my shoulders. When I was completely out I turned and saw that the voice had come from Ewan. It was the first time I had heard him say anything louder than a mumble. His voice was light and sweet. Sort of delicate. But that wasn’t the only strange thing. There he was, sitting on the back of Satan holding his horns. And Satan was letting him. Lara wriggled out next and stood up slowly and stiffly by my side.
    “Well, Bolt, it looks like Ewan’s the one with special powers.” She put a lot of effort into this and sounded