Emily, who tore them from the box and pressed them to her face.
When Emily’s sobs had subsided, Linda leaned forward. “Honey, I don’t understand.”
Hugging herself, Emily looked at her mother. “It’s all your fault. You went away. You left me there.”
“Emily, when ?”
“When you and Owen were at that writers’ conference at the end of August.”
“Em, we’ve left you and Bruce alone before,” Linda said. “And we were only gone three days.”
“Yeah, well that’s long enough. Long enough to be raped more than once.”
“More than once?” Linda could hardly take in what Emily was saying. At the same time she could not stop staring at her daughter’s hands. Emily was clawing herself, repeatedly dragging the jagged ends of her fingernails deep into the skin of her hands and arms, leaving reddish welts. “Emily, your hands, honey.”
Dr. Travis seemed to shake her head once, briskly, at Linda. At the same time, she said to Emily, “Go on. Start at the beginning. Tell us everything.”
“It was terrible. He was so mean.” Emily was trembling. As she spoke, her left thumb dug deep into the skin around her right thumbnail. She found a tiny tab of skin and grabbed it and pulled. And pulled. A transparent sliver of skin came away.
“Tell me, Emily. Please.”
“That first night, I thought he was just, oh, you know, like, being friendly.” A scarlet blush mottled her neck and chin.
“The first night.”
“The first night you were gone. The first night you left me alone with him.” She took a deep breath, and now the words poured out. “We watched a video and then I went to bed and he came into my room. I was almost asleep. I was just under a sheet. It washot. You know. And he lay down next to me, but on top of the sheet. Just sort of threw himself down next to me like we were watching TV, except on the ceiling. You know.”
“I know.”
“He kept touching me. I mean we were talking about school starting and stuff and he said that Terry had a crush on me and I told him Cordelia had a crush on him. And he just, well, first he turned on his side and kind of bumped into me with his, um, against my leg, and he put his hand on my arm near my breast. Touching my breast. I pulled away. Told him I was sleepy. After a while he left.”
Owen interrupted. “If that’s all—”
“The next night he raped me.” Emily stared at her stepfather. Her entire body shook. “I know what rape is. He came in my room and this time he got under the sheet, just like it was normal, and I go, ‘Hey, Bruce, what are you doing?’ and he goes, ‘Take off your clothes.’ And I said no and pushed him and suddenly he was like, strong, and mad . He held me down with his arms and hands and I twisted and tried to kick him and he shoved me down into the mattress and tore off my pants, and I was just wearing a big white T-shirt and underpants. I screamed at him to stop—”
“Take your time,” Dr. Travis said.
Emily’s forehead creased in anguish. “I yelled, ‘Bruce, don’t be so rough, you’re scaring me. I didn’t know you wanted, I didn’t know you liked me!’ ” Emily’s eyes flew to Linda’s. “ ’Cause I always thought, whenever I saw a scary show? How if that happened to me I could talk them out of it? So I thought I could talk Bruce out of it, but he said—” The next words were distorted by sobbing.
Linda asked, “What did he say, Emily?”
“He said, ‘ Like you! I hate you, you fucking bitch!’ ” Shuddering, nearly retching, Emily said, “Then he stuck his penis in me really hard and fast and I was screaming no but he held me down.”
For a few moments the three adults sat aghast while Emily sobbed.
“Then what happened, Emily?” Dr. Travis asked.
Emily struggled to control her breathing. “When he was through he just got off me. I pulled the sheet up over me. He said, ‘If you tell Dad and Linda, they won’t believe you. And I’ll make it hell for you at
When Emily’s sobs had subsided, Linda leaned forward. “Honey, I don’t understand.”
Hugging herself, Emily looked at her mother. “It’s all your fault. You went away. You left me there.”
“Emily, when ?”
“When you and Owen were at that writers’ conference at the end of August.”
“Em, we’ve left you and Bruce alone before,” Linda said. “And we were only gone three days.”
“Yeah, well that’s long enough. Long enough to be raped more than once.”
“More than once?” Linda could hardly take in what Emily was saying. At the same time she could not stop staring at her daughter’s hands. Emily was clawing herself, repeatedly dragging the jagged ends of her fingernails deep into the skin of her hands and arms, leaving reddish welts. “Emily, your hands, honey.”
Dr. Travis seemed to shake her head once, briskly, at Linda. At the same time, she said to Emily, “Go on. Start at the beginning. Tell us everything.”
“It was terrible. He was so mean.” Emily was trembling. As she spoke, her left thumb dug deep into the skin around her right thumbnail. She found a tiny tab of skin and grabbed it and pulled. And pulled. A transparent sliver of skin came away.
“Tell me, Emily. Please.”
“That first night, I thought he was just, oh, you know, like, being friendly.” A scarlet blush mottled her neck and chin.
“The first night.”
“The first night you were gone. The first night you left me alone with him.” She took a deep breath, and now the words poured out. “We watched a video and then I went to bed and he came into my room. I was almost asleep. I was just under a sheet. It washot. You know. And he lay down next to me, but on top of the sheet. Just sort of threw himself down next to me like we were watching TV, except on the ceiling. You know.”
“I know.”
“He kept touching me. I mean we were talking about school starting and stuff and he said that Terry had a crush on me and I told him Cordelia had a crush on him. And he just, well, first he turned on his side and kind of bumped into me with his, um, against my leg, and he put his hand on my arm near my breast. Touching my breast. I pulled away. Told him I was sleepy. After a while he left.”
Owen interrupted. “If that’s all—”
“The next night he raped me.” Emily stared at her stepfather. Her entire body shook. “I know what rape is. He came in my room and this time he got under the sheet, just like it was normal, and I go, ‘Hey, Bruce, what are you doing?’ and he goes, ‘Take off your clothes.’ And I said no and pushed him and suddenly he was like, strong, and mad . He held me down with his arms and hands and I twisted and tried to kick him and he shoved me down into the mattress and tore off my pants, and I was just wearing a big white T-shirt and underpants. I screamed at him to stop—”
“Take your time,” Dr. Travis said.
Emily’s forehead creased in anguish. “I yelled, ‘Bruce, don’t be so rough, you’re scaring me. I didn’t know you wanted, I didn’t know you liked me!’ ” Emily’s eyes flew to Linda’s. “ ’Cause I always thought, whenever I saw a scary show? How if that happened to me I could talk them out of it? So I thought I could talk Bruce out of it, but he said—” The next words were distorted by sobbing.
Linda asked, “What did he say, Emily?”
“He said, ‘ Like you! I hate you, you fucking bitch!’ ” Shuddering, nearly retching, Emily said, “Then he stuck his penis in me really hard and fast and I was screaming no but he held me down.”
For a few moments the three adults sat aghast while Emily sobbed.
“Then what happened, Emily?” Dr. Travis asked.
Emily struggled to control her breathing. “When he was through he just got off me. I pulled the sheet up over me. He said, ‘If you tell Dad and Linda, they won’t believe you. And I’ll make it hell for you at
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