Although Of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself

Although Of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself by David Lipsky Page A

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Hawkes?
    [John Hawkes, head of the university’s writing program. Sometimes there, sometimes on leave. I mention Hawkes’s problem—mood elevators—and David guesses the exact name of the medication. He has the
PDR
, the
Physician’s Desk Reference
, down.]
    I did that weeklong visiting writer thing in November while I was cutting the thing at
Harper’s
… taught—
    PA: Flight 4432—Passengers of American Eagle Flight 4432, service to Chicago, sorry to inform you that at this time we still have not received any promising news with regard to the runway conditions here at Bloomington. Again, this is an indefinite delay. We have no anticipated departure for this aircraft at this time.
    Good thing we can smoke a lot of cigarettes at this place.
    How serious was the tennis?
    I wudn’t as good as the kids in the book, but I was good enough—there would be local tournaments, and then at a certain point there are regionals, and then there are sectionals. And I was good enough at least to get to play in sectionals. And then I would bumble through the first couple of rounds, against other schmoes like me, and then I would run into a seed. And those were kids usually who were from suburbs of Chicago, or the good suburbs of St. Louis, or Grosse Pointe, Michigan. And that was all just a joke. They would beat us 0 and 6, 1 and 6. They were playing a totally different game. And I know that I always since I started writing wanted to do a story where I sort of got to project myself into the heads of kids like that. And the kids in the Academy are even a level above them. [The kids at
Infinite Jest’s
Enfield Tennis Academy—big-hitting, nationally ranked.]
    And had you started playing at three or four or five?
    (Shrugs) It’d be fun to hit with Amis sometime.
    I wouldn’t want to do it as a piece—I’d just like to be the best writer–tennis player. I’m real hard to beat—’cause I’ve just played a lot of tournaments. I don’t look that good, but I’m just almost impossible to beat. I know that sounds arrogant. [His second time with that word: He’s more comfortable being proud about the physical, which can be measured, and which is a sideline anyway. Much more confident talking about his semigood tennis than his extraordinarily fine prose.] It’s true. I’m a—I’m a somewhere between good and very good natural athlete. The ones who become really great players (a) start really young, (b) get lucky enough to be put into great coaching tracks, and (c) are phenomenally talented athletes. And tennis takes—I just didn’t, don’t have the foot speed and the reflexes, you know? Which you need; it’s the same reason I couldn’t be a major-league hitter. I don’t quite have the foot speed and the reflexes.
    I don’t think I realized that till—um, it all got very confusing to me, ’cause I didn’t go into puberty till real late. And this is part of what the tennis essay is about, and I really sort of felt betrayed by my body. And always thought that, “Well, if I coulda just developed when I was fifteen, like these guys from Peoria, I coulda been …” And the fact of the matter is, I couldn’t.
    Schacht’s problem?
[Ted Schacht, from the novel’s Academy]
    Nah—Schacht’s got knee issues.
    Yeah—it’s weird. A lot of this stuff, I can’t remember.
    (To waitress) We’re gonna basically just hang out here for a while.
    There was a lot more stuff about these various guys and their relation to tennis. I mean, there were a number of drafts. One I cut quite a bit before I even sent it to Michael, and even I realized that, that—the tennis stuff had to be used, it couldn’t be in there for its own sake, because very few people find that stuff interesting.
    But no. Schacht’s big thing was taking tremendously scary bowel movements and having a bad knee.
    It’s Orin
.
    Right.
    Orin had your football thing too; I loved the little thing about them having to actually fly into the stadium as the Cardinals

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