I’d buried?
I felt like a fucking pussy as tears
streamed down my cheeks. He wasn’t letting me hide; he wasn’t
letting me run. Instead, he was forcing me to bare myself, to face
myself against my will.
Flashes of my parents with their
disapproving looks if my gaze lingered too long on a male swamped
my mind. Still portraits profiling the disgust on others’ faces
when they discovered my secret desires sprung to the forefront.
Memories of chide remarks, hateful slurs and, the worst, revolting
gestures had my emotions swirling, sucking every ounce of strength
within me.
Then there were the ones that ignored my
presence. How could they act as if I didn’t exist? How could they
look through me rather than at me? I was the pack beta for over ten
years. I fought beside every other wolf in that pack; I worked hard
every day to earn my keep, to maintain my position and uphold
order. Damn it! I fucking deserved to be treated like an equal. Who
I fucked had no impact on how I performed my job. Who I loved had
no influence on my dedication to my family or my pack.
Did they think I wanted to be gay? Did they
think I wanted to go against the grain? Did they know how
embarrassed I was to be such an utter disgrace to them that they
would openly degrade me? Worse, I degraded myself by allowing it to
go on for so long. How the hell can another man love me when I
don’t even love myself enough to stand up to them all?
Shit. Even when I killed the alpha, it was
merely a moment when I lost control. It wasn’t that I was avenging
my honor or demanding respect; it was that I felt so helpless that
I spun out of control. I lost myself to the dark emotions; to a
dark reality that was still haunting me. Drew was right. I couldn’t
run. I couldn’t fucking run.
I collapsed beneath the weight of it all.
Drew’s arms flew around me, hugging me to him. He pulled me into
him until we were chest to chest. He held me up, supported me the
way no one else ever did. I threw my arms around him, reveling in
the feel of him, in the scent of him; I loved the way he cloaked
me, the way he swaddled me with his love.
He kissed my forehead and cheeks as his
hands drew circles on my back, soothing me. The way he held me, the
way he held me up, didn’t make me feel weak. I should have felt
like the most pathetic man on the planet, particularly with my wolf
hanging his head and howling guttural cries along with me, but I
felt protected and safe in his arms. I felt like he was trying to
lift me up rather than tear me down.
I felt his heart thumping against his chest;
I felt his love pouring out over me, rocking me to my core. He
ripped out every last insecurity in me and forced me to face it. He
shredded my insides, caused every barrier keeping my dark past
hidden to collapse.
I gradually regained control of myself,
feeling lighter and stronger as I did so.
Drew captured my lips. He was rough, hard;
he didn’t hold back. He threw himself into his caress. Plunging his
tongue into my mouth, he slid it over my own, sparking a powerful
desire deep in my groin.
He pressed his leg against my throbbing
erection, sending sparks of pleasure through me as his muscled
thigh rubbed my cock. I groaned into his mouth, unabashed and
uninhibited. He felt good against me.
He bit my lower lip before sucking it into
his mouth. He played with it before releasing it.
“ Ah, fuck, baby.” My wolf
growled excitedly. My balls drew up, loving the way his teeth bit
into my flesh before his tongue teased it. My ass tightened around
the plug, having adjusted to it already, only pleasure singed the
walls it pressed against.
Drew grabbed one of my hands and led me down
a short, narrow hall to his bedroom.
—
Chapter Fourteen
DREW
Holding Barrett tested my control. I longed
to rip the plug out of his ass and thrust into him to the hilt. I
wanted him to scream my name as I stroked his cock and fucked him
to the brink of pleasure and back. My wolf was barely
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