Almost Lost by Beatrice Sparks Page B

black, too!”
    â€œYou felt and thought black and you thought they felt and acted black, too? You mean black in the sense of absence of light and love and good, shining happiness?”
    â€œYeah, exactly.”
    â€œDid you know then what you know now: that people see others in direct ratio to how they see themselves , in color, meaning, importance, feelings and everything else?”
    â€œI’ve been thinking about that since you mentioned it before and I’ve accepted that it positively and absolutely is true.”
    â€œGold star for you. Can you remember exactly when the unfamiliar discomfort took over?”
    â€œWell toward myself and…you know…it came down in one black swoop like a bigger than person-size vampire bat. I told you that after that incident everything in life was like a slow-motion, old black-and-white late, late, late, late-night movie, didn’t I?”
    â€œWhat about other people? I mean besides you and—” I shrugged.
    â€œ Everything in life lost all color, even the trees and grass and flowers became black or dull grey. They were even more colorless than anything. Well, at first not my mom and the girls and my home and stuff, but they too gradually drifted down to nothing—sort of dark, evil shadows.”
    â€œSammy, have you ever had ringworm?”
    He looked startled. “Yes. Dorie brought it home from school once, and it spread like wildfire.”
    â€œDid everyone get it?”
    â€œYeah, some more, some less.”
    â€œWho got less?”
    â€œI think me.”
    â€œHow come?”
    â€œI think by then we knew what we were looking for and caught it before…Oh, I see what you’re getting at. You think I let the black, disgusting, mind-eating…begin…” Sammy stopped and bowed his head until it almost touched his waist.
    â€œExtending?”
    â€œExpanding…”
    â€œEnlarging?”
    â€œDefeating…”
    â€œImprisoning?”
    â€œMind-controlling…”
    â€œEgo-deflating?
    â€œConfidence-shattering…”
    â€œDistrust- and unhappiness-causing?
    â€œConsuming…”
    â€œIsn’t it scary to think that the common, old, everyday variety of black depression can become completely consuming?”
    Sammy’s voice was little more than a gentle, pained whisper. “But only if I let it be. Is that what you’re trying to get me to say?”
    â€œOnly if you thoroughly and completely believe it.”
    â€œI not only believe it! I lived it!”
    I touched his hand softly. “I’m so happy that you’re emerging out of your long trip through a tunnel of darkness. How would you measure the light in your life on a 1 to 10 scale today?”
    â€œWhere does…say…112 grab you?”
    â€œRight in my bright-light-, sunshine-, happiness-filled heart.”
    â€œDon’t you ever feel depressed?”
    â€œOf course! Everyone does! There are times when pain, sadness, emptiness, and/or depression are a part of each human existence. Can you think of some of those times?”
    â€œFor sure when parents divorce their kids.”
    â€œAnd?”
    â€œWell…I’d feel…I don’t know how I’d stand it if Mom died, or even Uncle Gordon, or Grandma Gordon, or…I guess anybody I love, even Dread Red Fred.”
    â€œWhat about when someone is treated cruelly or disrespectfully, especially over a period of time?”
    â€œYeah, or loses a job, or doesn’t make a team, orgets sacked. Man, there must be millions of things that could make us depressed to the max.”
    â€œSo should we learn how to handle trauma before it enters our lives?”
    â€œIs that possible?”
    â€œYes, if we retain the knowledge that any trauma deserves time and space for grieving and healing.”
    â€œYou mean like a short time for a small wound and a longer time for a deeper one?”
    â€œDoes that