whether it is a boy or girl?’ she grins.
‘Can you tell?’ I sniff, wiping a tear.
‘I can?’ she questions.
But this makes it real, ‘Yes, please,’ I
relent, curiosity out winning.
‘It’s a boy, and all looks fine and dandy,
he is growing nicely. Have you experienced any problems?’
‘No, once the constant sickness disappeared
I have been fine thank you, I should probably tell people,’ I mumble to myself
more than anyone else.
‘Why haven’t you told anyone? You are past
the halfway mark now, the only way from here is’ she expresses with her hand a
huge bump in front of her, ‘here! So there will be no hiding him now.’
I walk outside the hospital towards the car
park, in a blur of wonder and confusion. As I turn the corner I find myself
walking directly into the path of none other than Matt Ritchie.
‘Emily!’ Matt exclaims in surprise as he
takes in my appearance and his eyes settle on the scan picture that is in my
hand, ‘it worked then?’ he looks crestfallen ‘how are you?’ his hazel eyes are
wary.
‘Matt,’ I whisper, ‘what are you doing
here?’ my insides lurch.
‘My mum,’ he swallows, ‘she has breast
cancer.’
‘Oh I am so sorry,’ my hand moves to his
arm automatically, ‘how is she doing?’
‘Good,’ he nods, ‘they caught it early she
has the last bout of chemo today, so fingers crossed.’ He smiles briefly,
rolling his eyes to the sky in a silent prayer.
‘Good, I will send positive thoughts her
way,’ did she really just say that, Lucy uses that expression!
‘It’s good to see you,’ his eyes run over
my face, ‘you look tired though, are you resting?’
‘I am fine,’ I smile, my heart skipping a
beat as our eyes connect.
‘Why aren’t Lucy or Tom with you?’ his eyes
drop down to my scan photo.
‘I can manage on my own,’ I smile and he
nods as he points to the photo.
‘Can I take a peak?’
‘Sure,’ I hand him the picture, my inside
squirming, shit he is looking at his son. I feel my face flush as I realize
this isn’t right but I don’t want to share my baby weekends he is mine. At
that precise moment, I bond with my baby, I have ignored him for the past few
months even when he kicks me suddenly. I realize I have a family of my own now,
and the feeling hits me hard, I move my hand protectively to my stomach.
‘You ok?’ Matt asks.
‘Yes, he’s somersaulting’ I fib.
‘He! A boy, I bet Lucy and Tom are over the
moon,’ he grins handing me back the photo, ‘it was good seeing you Emily.’ He
croaks.
‘You too Matt, I wish your mum a speedy
recovery.’ I gaze up at him, unable to avert my eyes.
‘Thank you. Can I call you in a few
months?’ he is too close and my insides flutter.
I smile up at him, ‘I would like that,’ he
strokes my cheek.
‘I have missed you,’ he murmurs, his eyes
darkening.
‘I have missed you too, Matt.’ I whisper,
aware that this is the first time I have accepted this fact, I feel lost
without him.
He appears shocked by my admission and
closes his eyes briefly before tilting my chin with his finger and placing a
gentle kiss on my lips, ‘see you soon,’ he whispers, before turning and walking
away.
I exhale a breath. It is still there, that
magnet to him, it is like an animal attraction. When I reach my car, I sit
there motionless all the emotions raging through me. Tears roll down my face
and I dash them away, I miss him, how can I see him again without him realizing
it is our baby? What will he say? Will he attempt to steal him away from me?
No! He is my baby, my hand moves to my bump protectively, but I do need to tell
people.
The next few weeks pass and despite my
inner brain reminding me regularly I still haven’t told a soul. I have placed
the scan picture on the fridge and have taken to talking to it as I open the
fridge. My bump is growing daily, I was obviously a late starter but am
certainly making up for it now. I have noticed people at work
‘Can you tell?’ I sniff, wiping a tear.
‘I can?’ she questions.
But this makes it real, ‘Yes, please,’ I
relent, curiosity out winning.
‘It’s a boy, and all looks fine and dandy,
he is growing nicely. Have you experienced any problems?’
‘No, once the constant sickness disappeared
I have been fine thank you, I should probably tell people,’ I mumble to myself
more than anyone else.
‘Why haven’t you told anyone? You are past
the halfway mark now, the only way from here is’ she expresses with her hand a
huge bump in front of her, ‘here! So there will be no hiding him now.’
I walk outside the hospital towards the car
park, in a blur of wonder and confusion. As I turn the corner I find myself
walking directly into the path of none other than Matt Ritchie.
‘Emily!’ Matt exclaims in surprise as he
takes in my appearance and his eyes settle on the scan picture that is in my
hand, ‘it worked then?’ he looks crestfallen ‘how are you?’ his hazel eyes are
wary.
‘Matt,’ I whisper, ‘what are you doing
here?’ my insides lurch.
‘My mum,’ he swallows, ‘she has breast
cancer.’
‘Oh I am so sorry,’ my hand moves to his
arm automatically, ‘how is she doing?’
‘Good,’ he nods, ‘they caught it early she
has the last bout of chemo today, so fingers crossed.’ He smiles briefly,
rolling his eyes to the sky in a silent prayer.
‘Good, I will send positive thoughts her
way,’ did she really just say that, Lucy uses that expression!
‘It’s good to see you,’ his eyes run over
my face, ‘you look tired though, are you resting?’
‘I am fine,’ I smile, my heart skipping a
beat as our eyes connect.
‘Why aren’t Lucy or Tom with you?’ his eyes
drop down to my scan photo.
‘I can manage on my own,’ I smile and he
nods as he points to the photo.
‘Can I take a peak?’
‘Sure,’ I hand him the picture, my inside
squirming, shit he is looking at his son. I feel my face flush as I realize
this isn’t right but I don’t want to share my baby weekends he is mine. At
that precise moment, I bond with my baby, I have ignored him for the past few
months even when he kicks me suddenly. I realize I have a family of my own now,
and the feeling hits me hard, I move my hand protectively to my stomach.
‘You ok?’ Matt asks.
‘Yes, he’s somersaulting’ I fib.
‘He! A boy, I bet Lucy and Tom are over the
moon,’ he grins handing me back the photo, ‘it was good seeing you Emily.’ He
croaks.
‘You too Matt, I wish your mum a speedy
recovery.’ I gaze up at him, unable to avert my eyes.
‘Thank you. Can I call you in a few
months?’ he is too close and my insides flutter.
I smile up at him, ‘I would like that,’ he
strokes my cheek.
‘I have missed you,’ he murmurs, his eyes
darkening.
‘I have missed you too, Matt.’ I whisper,
aware that this is the first time I have accepted this fact, I feel lost
without him.
He appears shocked by my admission and
closes his eyes briefly before tilting my chin with his finger and placing a
gentle kiss on my lips, ‘see you soon,’ he whispers, before turning and walking
away.
I exhale a breath. It is still there, that
magnet to him, it is like an animal attraction. When I reach my car, I sit
there motionless all the emotions raging through me. Tears roll down my face
and I dash them away, I miss him, how can I see him again without him realizing
it is our baby? What will he say? Will he attempt to steal him away from me?
No! He is my baby, my hand moves to my bump protectively, but I do need to tell
people.
The next few weeks pass and despite my
inner brain reminding me regularly I still haven’t told a soul. I have placed
the scan picture on the fridge and have taken to talking to it as I open the
fridge. My bump is growing daily, I was obviously a late starter but am
certainly making up for it now. I have noticed people at work
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