Alien Tango by Gini Koch

the other A-Cs in attendance. And I was guarding Martini. It was the tough job, but I felt ready for it.
    Martini still wanted to take a gate, and being overruled about it made him very unhappy. Added to this, he was on the phone with his mother. I wasn’t trying to listen, which meant I was listening as hard as I could while pretending to be fascinated by the bomb dogs who were giving everyone on the plane another once-over, just in case.
    “Yeah, delayed because some anti-alien group tried to kill us. Yes. No. Yes, you heard right, she’s the one who figured out what was going on. Yes, she’s smart, that’s part of why I’m with her. Amazingly, no, she doesn’t think I’m an idiot. No, this doesn’t make her stupid or easy to please. Of course we’re still going to Florida, if there’s any reason to. No, I didn’t kill a policeman. Of course I would have. Why? Did you even hear the full story or are you just getting this from the rumor mill?”
    Long pause while Martini rolled his eyes, looked up as if asking God to take him now, and ground his teeth. “Of course it didn’t happen like that. But why am I not surprised you believe someone other than me. Fine, I’ll tell you about it when we get there, whenever that ends up being. Good, so glad the emergency’s not going anywhere, I’d hate to miss it. Yes, that was sarcasm. No, I don’t think it’s her influence. I was sarcastic before, you just didn’t notice.”
    Another long pause, during which he had his eyes closed and looked as if he were having a migraine. “Yes, you’re right, I did like living with Aunt Terry better. She died twenty years ago, glad you’re not still carrying the resentment. No, honestly, I don’t want to come for a big family dinner. Ever. Right. Yes, fine, so we’ll see you sometime after we handle the situation. No, not tonight. At this rate, it’ll be tomorrow at the soonest. Great. Please remember I hate meat loaf. Oh, of course, naturally, I see you maybe three times a year, God forbid you’d cook something I like. Yes, I know, your meat loaf is famous on two worlds. I’m sure I’ll like it this time.”
    Longer pause. “Yes, fine, I know. Yes, of course, Christopher, too. I wouldn’t let him miss this for the world. Paul and James are with us as well, and Tim, human agent you don’t know. Yes, of course, I’ll bring them all along—no one should miss the meat loaf. Love you, too.” He hung up and gently banged his head against the wall.
    I stroked his back. “Jeff, you okay?”
    “Please promise me you’ll still want to be around me after you meet them.” He sounded stressed and depressed again.
    “You know I will.”
    He shook his head. “No. I don’t. I can’t imagine that you would.” He rubbed his forehead. “Maybe I can die heroically handling this situation.”
    “I don’t want you to die.” I tried to hide it, but him acting like this was really worrying me.
    Martini picked it up, of course. He pulled me into his arms and held me tightly. I leaned my head against his chest and rubbed his back some more. “I’m so sorry,” he said finally. “It’s going to be miserable, and I don’t know how to protect you from them.”
    I nuzzled his chest. “In college, I briefly dated a guy whose family were the biggest neo-Nazis you could ever imagine. I didn’t know it until he took me home to meet them. My Uncle Mort, the Marine, literally had to come get me with a complement of his leathernecks because I was that afraid of being killed by those people once they discovered I was Jewish. I truly can’t imagine your family could be worse than them.”
    “Well, true. I don’t think anyone in my family’s going to try to kill you.”
    “See? So it’ll be fine.”
    “God, I love your optimism.”
    “How are you doing, talentwise?” This was my veiled way of determining if I needed to have the adrenaline harpoon ready or not.
    Martini sighed. “Not all that great, but I think I’ll be