could respond, she
grabbed her shower caddy and headed for the door. “Enjoy your hangover,” she
yelled, slamming it behind her much harder than she had to.
What the hell had I done to
her? Other than meet every expectation she’d had for me.
The echo of Dawn slamming
the door rang in my sore head. Even she couldn’t keep me on the right track
when I wasn’t in this room.
Chapter
Fourteen
Carter
Monday morning Civics class was
about to start and Kate still hadn’t walked in. Maybe I should have knocked on
her door to make sure she was okay before I left for campus, but that would
have been too much. All of this was too much.
Besides, she’d had a whole
day to recover from Saturday night.
But maybe she hadn’t wanted
to recover.
I hadn’t even been drunk,
and I was having trouble recovering.
I
spun around in my seat. I had to stop because Professor Parker would surely ask
me what the hell I was doing in his patented blend of sarcasm and
asshole. Probably something about if he’d missed the announcement he
was holding class at the back of the classroom today instead of the front.
He’d
been my professor for this class freshman year too. He knew all about me. As a
person at this school he couldn’t have avoided following the case. It was in the
local papers and even the campus one. It was the whisper on everyone’s lips. As
a lawyer he probably thought I was getting off easy.
I
guess I did too. That was why I’d punished myself. Why I had to stop kissing
Kate before it turned into something I couldn’t stop. Why it was my duty to
make sure she got home safely. But she wasn’t in class now, so maybe I hadn’t
done enough.
Maybe
nothing I did would ever be enough.
My
mind rewound to Saturday night. Kate had gotten back to the dorm safely, but she
could have left.
She
was pretty drunk, so I doubted it. I’d held her up almost the entire walk back to
the dorm, trying to deny everything I felt when I touched her delicate frame—filled
with fever even in the freezing cold night. My stomach was as empty as air,
floating like a helium balloon set free. I’d left her in the lobby and taken
the stairs because if we had ridden in the elevator together I would have
kissed her again and again and again. I wouldn’t have wanted it to end.
Had
she found a guy who was willing to do what I couldn’t?
Professor
Parker turned to the dry erase board. I started typing notes, but my mind was
on Kate. Was I wondering where she was because I was worried about her, or
because I couldn’t stop imagining our kiss?
About
giving in to it so completely at first like I wasn’t me and she wasn’t her;
like we were just two people who yearned for each other without pasts, or
presents, or futures.
I
licked my lips. Damn, whatever was between us before our kiss had now
multiplied and bloomed like one of those fast-forwarded videos of a flower
growing in a garden.
I
tried to focus on Professor Parker droning on at his lectern, talking about
constitutional law and how it pertained to modern life, but Kate kept creeping
in. After a self-imposed sexual draught she was the sweetest nectar, a mirage
that was real. When we kissed, her lips, her body, her hands were all mine, wanting
me. The shiver of being touched again, the taste of willing lips, replayed again
and again in my gut.
I also
couldn’t stop hearing her reply when I said I wasn’t supposed to be with her.
Neither am I.
What
did that mean? Did she have a boyfriend? Did she have something from her past
keeping her from me too?
I
should have taken her back to my room, but I didn’t sleep with anyone anymore,
especially someone drunk.
And
she was drunk. She’d said she didn’t drink, but I knew what this place could do
to you. What it could change you into without you doing anything but being in the
wrong place at the wrong time.
“Mr.
Blackwood, do you have an answer?”
Professor
Parker was staring at me, along with the whole class.
My
ears and
grabbed her shower caddy and headed for the door. “Enjoy your hangover,” she
yelled, slamming it behind her much harder than she had to.
What the hell had I done to
her? Other than meet every expectation she’d had for me.
The echo of Dawn slamming
the door rang in my sore head. Even she couldn’t keep me on the right track
when I wasn’t in this room.
Chapter
Fourteen
Carter
Monday morning Civics class was
about to start and Kate still hadn’t walked in. Maybe I should have knocked on
her door to make sure she was okay before I left for campus, but that would
have been too much. All of this was too much.
Besides, she’d had a whole
day to recover from Saturday night.
But maybe she hadn’t wanted
to recover.
I hadn’t even been drunk,
and I was having trouble recovering.
I
spun around in my seat. I had to stop because Professor Parker would surely ask
me what the hell I was doing in his patented blend of sarcasm and
asshole. Probably something about if he’d missed the announcement he
was holding class at the back of the classroom today instead of the front.
He’d
been my professor for this class freshman year too. He knew all about me. As a
person at this school he couldn’t have avoided following the case. It was in the
local papers and even the campus one. It was the whisper on everyone’s lips. As
a lawyer he probably thought I was getting off easy.
I
guess I did too. That was why I’d punished myself. Why I had to stop kissing
Kate before it turned into something I couldn’t stop. Why it was my duty to
make sure she got home safely. But she wasn’t in class now, so maybe I hadn’t
done enough.
Maybe
nothing I did would ever be enough.
My
mind rewound to Saturday night. Kate had gotten back to the dorm safely, but she
could have left.
She
was pretty drunk, so I doubted it. I’d held her up almost the entire walk back to
the dorm, trying to deny everything I felt when I touched her delicate frame—filled
with fever even in the freezing cold night. My stomach was as empty as air,
floating like a helium balloon set free. I’d left her in the lobby and taken
the stairs because if we had ridden in the elevator together I would have
kissed her again and again and again. I wouldn’t have wanted it to end.
Had
she found a guy who was willing to do what I couldn’t?
Professor
Parker turned to the dry erase board. I started typing notes, but my mind was
on Kate. Was I wondering where she was because I was worried about her, or
because I couldn’t stop imagining our kiss?
About
giving in to it so completely at first like I wasn’t me and she wasn’t her;
like we were just two people who yearned for each other without pasts, or
presents, or futures.
I
licked my lips. Damn, whatever was between us before our kiss had now
multiplied and bloomed like one of those fast-forwarded videos of a flower
growing in a garden.
I
tried to focus on Professor Parker droning on at his lectern, talking about
constitutional law and how it pertained to modern life, but Kate kept creeping
in. After a self-imposed sexual draught she was the sweetest nectar, a mirage
that was real. When we kissed, her lips, her body, her hands were all mine, wanting
me. The shiver of being touched again, the taste of willing lips, replayed again
and again in my gut.
I also
couldn’t stop hearing her reply when I said I wasn’t supposed to be with her.
Neither am I.
What
did that mean? Did she have a boyfriend? Did she have something from her past
keeping her from me too?
I
should have taken her back to my room, but I didn’t sleep with anyone anymore,
especially someone drunk.
And
she was drunk. She’d said she didn’t drink, but I knew what this place could do
to you. What it could change you into without you doing anything but being in the
wrong place at the wrong time.
“Mr.
Blackwood, do you have an answer?”
Professor
Parker was staring at me, along with the whole class.
My
ears and
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