Afterlife by Claudia Gray

ever. And maybe I was starting to want
to take it.
     The library would ‘ve cheered me up, most days. I
loved the heavy oaken tables, the high walls stacked with books to the ceiling,
the musty smell of old pages and the heavy brass fixtures that had gone dark
with age and wear. It reminded me of hanging out with Raquel, or flirting with
Lucas, or studying with Balthazar. Of everything happy, simple, and alive.
    I didn’t belong there anymore.
    Resolutely I traveled farther into the library, wondering
where ghost — related books might be kept — and felt the wall start to pull me
in.
    It was sickening, overwhelming, like that terrible sensation
when you’re looking over a high ledge and for one second feel like you want to
jump, only this time the pull was taking me over whether I wanted it or not.
The east wall of the library had some strange magnetism that tied in to the
core of me. A thick vibration muffled every sound and nearly deafened me, and a
kind of static blurred my vision.
    I tried to make myself more substantial, so maybe I could
push myself backward, but I couldn’t become entirely solid. A strange black gap
— not in the world but in my senses — was opening in front of me, towing me
forward.
    From within that gap, I could hear terrible cries. I
realized they were the screams of other ghosts trapped by whatever force held
me. Were they the same ones who had taunted me before? Others? No way to know.
At any rate, they couldn’t rescue themselves, much less me.
    “Is anybody there?” I shouted. “Somebody, help! Can anybody
hear me ? ” No answers.
    Well, you wanted to die, said that vicious little voice in
my head. I wondered if I was wrong to even fight this. Maybe I needed to let it
happen.
    Then I realized that if I did that, I’d never see Lucas
again, or any of the other people I loved.
    “Lucas ! ” I screamed. My mind filled
with the image of the nightmarish scene where I’ d left him, and I envisioned
myself in the records room. It solidified around me, taking shape. Lucas and
Erich were again locked in battle — a dream fight so much longer than the real
one could have been sweaty and bloody. The nightmare had begun again,
apparently a night — long torment for him. Charity had vanished, like any other
whim within dreams, but otherwise everything was just as terrible. This time,
though, I had to break through. Once again, with every bit of my might, I
called, “Lucas ! ”
    He turned his head from Erich, startled. Lucas’s expression
was so confused that I thought he couldn’t see me, but at least he could hear.
    “Lucas, this is a dream, only a dream. I’m in the library
and something’s got me — you have to find me ! ”
    The scene faded as quickly as it had arrived. Had I reached
him, or was that only my own wishful thinking? Already the dark gap had
swallowed almost everything I could see, everything I could feel. Of my
hearing, all that was left was the wailing of the other wraiths.
    I wanted to call for Maxie or Christopher, but I didn’t know
if they would hear me, or whether Maxie would respond if I pleaded for help.
And what if I dragged them in, too ?
    A shudder passed through me, and I could feel the vapory
outlines of my limbs beginning to dissipate. Oh, no, no, no, this is it, this
is the end “Bianca!”
    “Lucas ! ” I tried to look for him,
but I could gain only the dimmest sense of him in the room. He was an outline,
a radiation of energy and fear and love, nothing else. “It’s got me.”
    “Give me your hand!” By that he meant, form a hand, give him
something to hold on to; I understood that. I just wasn’t sure I could do it
anymore, or that it would do any good. No simple physical force could pull me
back from the vortex.
    But I wanted to hold Lucas’s hand at least one more time,
even if I couldn’t do anything else. So with every ounce of my strength and
concentration, I thought about the place where my hand should be, and carved
out the