Lucas’s
sake, and the sake of the people I cared about — for the love that endured
after death — I had to find a place in this world. If that meant I was never
wholly part of the living or undead worlds, well, I’d always been in — between.
In the shadows. I knew how to do it, and maybe I could get better at it.
Maybe it Wasn’t the afterlife preached from pulpits or
envisioned by painters who liked harps, wings, and fluffy clouds. But looking
out for the people I loved seemed like a pretty good way to spend eternity. As
Lucas held me tightly, I knew he felt the same way.
We still have something at stake, I realized. Something to
fight for.
Chapter Eight
LUCAS AND I STAYED UP MOST OF THE REST OF that night, curled
in each other’s arms out on the lawn. Death had made us immune to autumn’s
winds or tfue chill of the soft earth beneath us. So we spooned together
beneath one of the large oak trees, half covered by the first fallen leaves as
the wind bRew them over us for a blanket. The leaves were the colors of our
hair — deep red and dark gold. We were part of the fall. And, for the first
time in far too long, we were truly part of each other. “You haven ‘t said we
should leave Evernight,” I whispered.
“Don’t think I haven ‘t thought it.” Lucas nuzzled the side
of my face. “I hate knowing how dangerous this place is for you. But . . . I have to trust you to make your own call about
the risks. That’s the deal we made, and I’ll stick to it.”
With my head still dizzy from the trap in the library, and
the scratches on my shoulder sore, I wondered whether I needed to reassess the
risks at Evernight Academy. But until Lucas was steadier, I knew, remaining
here was our best option. “I’m just fine.” I kissed him, soft and deep.
“Nothing worse can happen to me. In fact — it’s like I finally see that so many
good things can still happen to me. That there’s a lot I can do here, for you
and for everybody else.”
Lucas half smiled. “Not a ghost, but an angel.”
“There’s a lot you can do here as a vampire. Think about how
many students my mother and father helped, or how often Balthazar was able to
bail us out. Being dead . . . it’s not the worst thing
that can happen.”
He was quiet for a while after that. considering .
“It’s just — this hunger.”
“I know.”
“If I ever snap, and if I hurt someone … kill! someone — ”
“You won’t.” I wanted badly to believe that, and to help him
believe it, too. “You’re strong, Lucas. As a kid, you made it thro111gh Black
Cross training that would’ve crushed some adults. You went undercover when you
were nineteen years old and you pulled it off. I mean, you fooled Mrs.
Bethany, and you might just be the only person who’s ever
done that for long.”
At that, he actuaUy laughed; it was a rueful laugh rather
than a happy one, but I’d take what I could get. It just felt so good, being
here with him without the weight of the world crushing us down.
I kept counting off points. “You think for yourself, which
is a lot rarer than it ought to be. You can admit when you’re wrong, which is
even rarer than that. You’re loyal, and you’re courageous, and you make
friendships that last forever. That’s all part of you. The best part of you.”
Very serious now, Lucas shook his head. “You’re wrong.”
“Listen to me — ”
“You listen.” He snuggled more tightly against me. “You’re the
best part of me. Always.”
I closed my eyes and rested my head against his arm, finally
at peace — at least for one night.
The next day, Evernight Academy continued along in its
usual whirl of activity — in its own way, I thought, more alive than most of
its student body. People jumbled together in the hallways, the vampires sleek
and sophisticated, the rest wondering vaguely why they couldn’t fit in.
Traveling down the hallways was scarier
sake, and the sake of the people I cared about — for the love that endured
after death — I had to find a place in this world. If that meant I was never
wholly part of the living or undead worlds, well, I’d always been in — between.
In the shadows. I knew how to do it, and maybe I could get better at it.
Maybe it Wasn’t the afterlife preached from pulpits or
envisioned by painters who liked harps, wings, and fluffy clouds. But looking
out for the people I loved seemed like a pretty good way to spend eternity. As
Lucas held me tightly, I knew he felt the same way.
We still have something at stake, I realized. Something to
fight for.
Chapter Eight
LUCAS AND I STAYED UP MOST OF THE REST OF that night, curled
in each other’s arms out on the lawn. Death had made us immune to autumn’s
winds or tfue chill of the soft earth beneath us. So we spooned together
beneath one of the large oak trees, half covered by the first fallen leaves as
the wind bRew them over us for a blanket. The leaves were the colors of our
hair — deep red and dark gold. We were part of the fall. And, for the first
time in far too long, we were truly part of each other. “You haven ‘t said we
should leave Evernight,” I whispered.
“Don’t think I haven ‘t thought it.” Lucas nuzzled the side
of my face. “I hate knowing how dangerous this place is for you. But . . . I have to trust you to make your own call about
the risks. That’s the deal we made, and I’ll stick to it.”
With my head still dizzy from the trap in the library, and
the scratches on my shoulder sore, I wondered whether I needed to reassess the
risks at Evernight Academy. But until Lucas was steadier, I knew, remaining
here was our best option. “I’m just fine.” I kissed him, soft and deep.
“Nothing worse can happen to me. In fact — it’s like I finally see that so many
good things can still happen to me. That there’s a lot I can do here, for you
and for everybody else.”
Lucas half smiled. “Not a ghost, but an angel.”
“There’s a lot you can do here as a vampire. Think about how
many students my mother and father helped, or how often Balthazar was able to
bail us out. Being dead . . . it’s not the worst thing
that can happen.”
He was quiet for a while after that. considering .
“It’s just — this hunger.”
“I know.”
“If I ever snap, and if I hurt someone … kill! someone — ”
“You won’t.” I wanted badly to believe that, and to help him
believe it, too. “You’re strong, Lucas. As a kid, you made it thro111gh Black
Cross training that would’ve crushed some adults. You went undercover when you
were nineteen years old and you pulled it off. I mean, you fooled Mrs.
Bethany, and you might just be the only person who’s ever
done that for long.”
At that, he actuaUy laughed; it was a rueful laugh rather
than a happy one, but I’d take what I could get. It just felt so good, being
here with him without the weight of the world crushing us down.
I kept counting off points. “You think for yourself, which
is a lot rarer than it ought to be. You can admit when you’re wrong, which is
even rarer than that. You’re loyal, and you’re courageous, and you make
friendships that last forever. That’s all part of you. The best part of you.”
Very serious now, Lucas shook his head. “You’re wrong.”
“Listen to me — ”
“You listen.” He snuggled more tightly against me. “You’re the
best part of me. Always.”
I closed my eyes and rested my head against his arm, finally
at peace — at least for one night.
The next day, Evernight Academy continued along in its
usual whirl of activity — in its own way, I thought, more alive than most of
its student body. People jumbled together in the hallways, the vampires sleek
and sophisticated, the rest wondering vaguely why they couldn’t fit in.
Traveling down the hallways was scarier
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