programme â Sixty Minutes â from Australia (ABC) shown yesterday (July 17). Watched it four times! Its subjectâs becoming a hero, and Iâm rather in need of one stuck up here a lot on my own, and worrying about cash flow. What an ordeal this new hero had, but what a reward! Thereâs a dad round a sonâs neck there tooâ¦
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âJuly 23: âDad surprised me today by suddenly asking me, as I was helping him clear out the yard, âDo you think Izzie is serious about this Doug guy?â âYeah, too serious!â I said, âand the guy bores the pants off me!â Dad put down the white sack the county has given us for garden rubbish, and said quietly, âThatâs not fair, Nat, and I do wish you wouldnât say things like that! I didnât meet the man for very long, but he struck me as a thoroughly â as a thoroughly decent bloke.â Isnât that whatâs called damning with faint praise, I thought, but I had the wit not to say this aloud. What I did say was, âWould you mind, Dad, if you heard he and she had started living together?â ( I certainly would!) Dad said, âI havenât the right to mind anything in that department, have I?â Which sounded unusually hopeful as far as my own wishes went, I thought, though he immediately spoiled it by saying, âAnd anyway I wouldnât mind! Not that Iâd say if I did. Havenât you taken it in by now, Nat, that I do my damnedest never to pronounce on what anybody should or shouldnât be doing?â
ââWell, I suppose that has sort of struck me!â I replied.â
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As Luke Flemingâs investigations later uncovered, Nat made two long stays in Lydcastle between June and September 2009. The first ended on August 10 when he returned to London, to his motherâs flat. Then on Thursday August 20 he got his A Level results. His journal would have you believe that on the morning of that great day he didnât feel nervous but weirdly calm, as if, whatever the results, good or disappointing, he had moved far beyond responding to them as an individual with a future dependant on them, but had, over the summer, turned into a different kind of person, with just enough curiosity about his own past to want to know how heâd fared.
Heâd fared well, he found out, two As and a B. His place at Uni, the University of Lincoln, to study journalism, was now assured.
Both Dad and Doug were full of congratulations. No words from the first about the iniquity of exams and the ranking of people (âoften for life!â), though it was unlikely his views had undergone any change, no words from the second about âsoftâ subjects. Instead Doug told him that heâd heard nothing but excellent reports about the university of Natâs choice. Mum was moved to tears, but (according to Natâs journal) disconcerted him by saying, with eyes still moist, âItâs a tremendous relief for me, Nat, how youâve done so well, and I really think some of the calming exercises weâve done together helped you. I must be honest, and say I didnât think youâd make those grades.â She put a hand on top of his head â she was not a very demonstrative mother â and smoothed his straight, grey-brown hair making the feathered fringe in front tidier. âYouâve been so difficult to know, Nat. Do you realise that? Perhaps if Pete hadnât left us, youâd have been a bit more forthcoming.â
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âAugust 2. Decided I should let Dr Julian Pringle know my good news. But that strange letter he sent me hasnât exactly encouraged calling round again, even though itâs full of good wishes and suggests we have a friendly future to look forward to. So I decided to ring. Dr Pringle sounded surprised to hear from me, as if I wasnât at all in his thoughts. But when
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