Actually, they agreed to meet at a Friday evening public skating session. He recalled the evening vividly. She showed up wearing a tight blue and white ski sweater and jeans and looked awesome.
Despite her athletic build, Laura couldn’t skate that well, but this worked to Doug’s advantage. He skated backwards, relying on his intramural hockey skills, and held her hands. Frequently he would have to stop to avoid hitting someone on the crowded ice, and Laura would plow into him, laughing all the way. Several times, she even made Doug lose his balance, and they both went down in a sliding heap. Normally he would’ve been embarrassed, but that night he didn’t even notice.
He drove her home afterwards in his 1968 VW beetle with the broken heater. They both froze, but neither seemed to mind. She invited him up to her apartment for some hot chocolate towarm up. They talked the night away until three in the morning before either of them noticed the time. Embarrassed, Doug got up to leave. She tugged on his shirt and wouldn’t let him go unless he promised to come back for breakfast; she said she made killer pancakes. He promised. They shared a long goodnight kiss and finally said goodbye. Doug walked outside into the night oblivious to the cold, his head spinning and lips tingling but feeling happier than he had ever been. The crescent moon smiled and the stars winked at him as he skipped to his car. He went home but couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t wait to see her again. They saw each other constantly over the next two weeks, and separations longer than several hours were painful. By the end of the school year, they were engaged.
The Stairmaster chimed, proclaiming he had reached his goal, and Doug was yanked back to the present. The emotive part of his brain was still resonating with the memory of Laura, basking in the afterglow of their newfound love, and he was reluctant to relinquish the feeling. He hadn’t thought about their first date in a long time. The pleasant memory made their current troubles all the more strange and difficult to understand. What was happening with their marriage now was hard to put a finger on. Doug wondered if the problem was simply due to the hectic nature of their lives with two children in school and a preschooler. But he wasn’t sure this was enough to explain it. Other things came to mind.
Laura was a stay-at-home mom who excelled at it, but she had a strong work ethic, possibly the result of a father who had abandoned the family early in Laura’s life. She tended to be extremely sensitive to the other women around her who had jobs. She felt they viewed her as a lazy wife who sat at home having coffee with friends, watching soaps, and chatting on the telephone. Being a doctor’s wife didn’t help because she felt guilty that she
could
stay at home with the kids, and the family could survive on one income.
To assuage her guilt over being a stay-at-home mom, Laura volunteered for everything from homeroom mother for the boys in school to assistant soccer coach to Cub Scout den mother. If there was a job opening for a parent—the more onerous the better, no money please—Laura was always first in line. She managed to squeeze in delivering Meals-on-Wheels to the elderly shut-ins between shuttling the kids back and forth to activities.
In addition to being an avid volunteer, Laura lacked the capacity to say “no” to anyone asking a favor. If her friends asked her if she’d mind feeding their dog while they went away for the week, she’d respond, “No problem. I’m home all day anyway.” Unfortunately, she made it sound like she had nothing to do and that she’d be thrilled to help out, so that her friends did wind up taking advantage of her.
Ironically, Laura wound up working twice as hard as any “working” mother. Sadly, no one realized this except Doug. The neighbors and Laura’s friends and acquaintances still thought she had it pretty easy. After all, she found time
Despite her athletic build, Laura couldn’t skate that well, but this worked to Doug’s advantage. He skated backwards, relying on his intramural hockey skills, and held her hands. Frequently he would have to stop to avoid hitting someone on the crowded ice, and Laura would plow into him, laughing all the way. Several times, she even made Doug lose his balance, and they both went down in a sliding heap. Normally he would’ve been embarrassed, but that night he didn’t even notice.
He drove her home afterwards in his 1968 VW beetle with the broken heater. They both froze, but neither seemed to mind. She invited him up to her apartment for some hot chocolate towarm up. They talked the night away until three in the morning before either of them noticed the time. Embarrassed, Doug got up to leave. She tugged on his shirt and wouldn’t let him go unless he promised to come back for breakfast; she said she made killer pancakes. He promised. They shared a long goodnight kiss and finally said goodbye. Doug walked outside into the night oblivious to the cold, his head spinning and lips tingling but feeling happier than he had ever been. The crescent moon smiled and the stars winked at him as he skipped to his car. He went home but couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t wait to see her again. They saw each other constantly over the next two weeks, and separations longer than several hours were painful. By the end of the school year, they were engaged.
The Stairmaster chimed, proclaiming he had reached his goal, and Doug was yanked back to the present. The emotive part of his brain was still resonating with the memory of Laura, basking in the afterglow of their newfound love, and he was reluctant to relinquish the feeling. He hadn’t thought about their first date in a long time. The pleasant memory made their current troubles all the more strange and difficult to understand. What was happening with their marriage now was hard to put a finger on. Doug wondered if the problem was simply due to the hectic nature of their lives with two children in school and a preschooler. But he wasn’t sure this was enough to explain it. Other things came to mind.
Laura was a stay-at-home mom who excelled at it, but she had a strong work ethic, possibly the result of a father who had abandoned the family early in Laura’s life. She tended to be extremely sensitive to the other women around her who had jobs. She felt they viewed her as a lazy wife who sat at home having coffee with friends, watching soaps, and chatting on the telephone. Being a doctor’s wife didn’t help because she felt guilty that she
could
stay at home with the kids, and the family could survive on one income.
To assuage her guilt over being a stay-at-home mom, Laura volunteered for everything from homeroom mother for the boys in school to assistant soccer coach to Cub Scout den mother. If there was a job opening for a parent—the more onerous the better, no money please—Laura was always first in line. She managed to squeeze in delivering Meals-on-Wheels to the elderly shut-ins between shuttling the kids back and forth to activities.
In addition to being an avid volunteer, Laura lacked the capacity to say “no” to anyone asking a favor. If her friends asked her if she’d mind feeding their dog while they went away for the week, she’d respond, “No problem. I’m home all day anyway.” Unfortunately, she made it sound like she had nothing to do and that she’d be thrilled to help out, so that her friends did wind up taking advantage of her.
Ironically, Laura wound up working twice as hard as any “working” mother. Sadly, no one realized this except Doug. The neighbors and Laura’s friends and acquaintances still thought she had it pretty easy. After all, she found time
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