her, and the warmth was frightening, too, making her long to run towards him and at the same time run away. "I need Alex's car seat," she said breathlessly. "I'll just go get it."
"What do we need it for?"
"Alex can sit in it while we eat."
"I'll hold him."
"No."
His brows lifted inquiringly. "Then I'll get the car seat for you."
"No," she said again, managing with effort to keep her voice level. She turned and moved in the direction of the car park, needing to be away from him for a few moments to keep her thoughts at bay.
He caught up to her and placed his hand on her arm, slowing her, stopping her. Her turmoil increased.
"We'll all go," he said firmly.
She nodded reluctantly, and together they walked out through the Cultural Center's gates.
"So," he began, as they wove between the parked cars, "are you having fun yet?"
"How can I have fun?" She was too aware of him as usual and overwhelmed by his presence.
"Why can't you?"
"Because nothing has changed. No matter how normally we try to behave, how many dinners we have out, picnics we conjure up, or trips to the zoo, we're still in the same place." The pulse hammering her temples increased to a pounding. "We both still want the same thing but both of us can't have what we want."
"That's true," he admitted slowly, "but I was hoping you were beginning to see that Alex will be happy with me."
She didn't want to even look at Alex, couldn't bear to see more evidence that what Peter said was true, couldn't bear either the thought of Alex leaving. When had she become so attached to this child? The first moment she saw him, she realized with despair.
"In other words," she said starkly, "you win and I lose."
"I wouldn't put it like that."
"There's no other way to put it." She turned away, desperate to hide the moisture gathering in her eyes, not wanting to look weak when she needed to be strong. Swiftly, she moved the last few steps to the van.
"Wait!" Peter cried, catching up with her as she jerked open the door. Juggling Alex in his arms, he pulled her around so that all she could see now was his face. "It's time to face facts," Peter said brusquely, but the eyes staring into hers were gentle.
"What facts?"
"It's time to give Alexander up."
"Why?" she demanded, resisting the urge to snatch her baby from him. "So you can catch the plane tomorrow and take Alex with you? No more time wasted. Everything tidy and as it should be." She glared at him over Alex's head. "That's not going to happen."
"I want this to be easier for you."
"You just want it easier for yourself."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Then leave my baby be."
"I can't," he said. "Surely you can see that."
She could see it and that's what made it all so difficult. If Claire's brother loved his nephew even half as much as she, he would never give up his quest.
"I'll have to stay here until you change your mind," he said, handing Alex to her then reaching past her to lift Alex's car seat from the van. With his movement, he was close to her, could feel her breath upon his neck. He clenched his jaw, determined to resist the call her body made to his.
"Have you considered Alex in all of this?" She stepped away from him as she spoke, as if she, too, felt the call.
The loss of her nearness was both a sorrow and a relief. "Alex is the only one I am considering," he said gruffly. Now that Claire was dead, he couldn't allow himself to think of anyone else, couldn't continue to be attracted to this woman who had been Claire's friend.
"A baby needs a mother."
Her voice was so low it almost disappeared, as the life died in her eyes when he spoke of taking Alex. He tried to harden his heart, tried not to care. For Alexander's sake and for his own.
"Mothers aren't always what they appear," he said tightly.
"What do you mean?" She drew herself up, her hair around her head now a bristling halo of indignation.
It seemed suddenly as if there was a wall between them, that if he reached for her the wall would
"What do we need it for?"
"Alex can sit in it while we eat."
"I'll hold him."
"No."
His brows lifted inquiringly. "Then I'll get the car seat for you."
"No," she said again, managing with effort to keep her voice level. She turned and moved in the direction of the car park, needing to be away from him for a few moments to keep her thoughts at bay.
He caught up to her and placed his hand on her arm, slowing her, stopping her. Her turmoil increased.
"We'll all go," he said firmly.
She nodded reluctantly, and together they walked out through the Cultural Center's gates.
"So," he began, as they wove between the parked cars, "are you having fun yet?"
"How can I have fun?" She was too aware of him as usual and overwhelmed by his presence.
"Why can't you?"
"Because nothing has changed. No matter how normally we try to behave, how many dinners we have out, picnics we conjure up, or trips to the zoo, we're still in the same place." The pulse hammering her temples increased to a pounding. "We both still want the same thing but both of us can't have what we want."
"That's true," he admitted slowly, "but I was hoping you were beginning to see that Alex will be happy with me."
She didn't want to even look at Alex, couldn't bear to see more evidence that what Peter said was true, couldn't bear either the thought of Alex leaving. When had she become so attached to this child? The first moment she saw him, she realized with despair.
"In other words," she said starkly, "you win and I lose."
"I wouldn't put it like that."
"There's no other way to put it." She turned away, desperate to hide the moisture gathering in her eyes, not wanting to look weak when she needed to be strong. Swiftly, she moved the last few steps to the van.
"Wait!" Peter cried, catching up with her as she jerked open the door. Juggling Alex in his arms, he pulled her around so that all she could see now was his face. "It's time to face facts," Peter said brusquely, but the eyes staring into hers were gentle.
"What facts?"
"It's time to give Alexander up."
"Why?" she demanded, resisting the urge to snatch her baby from him. "So you can catch the plane tomorrow and take Alex with you? No more time wasted. Everything tidy and as it should be." She glared at him over Alex's head. "That's not going to happen."
"I want this to be easier for you."
"You just want it easier for yourself."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Then leave my baby be."
"I can't," he said. "Surely you can see that."
She could see it and that's what made it all so difficult. If Claire's brother loved his nephew even half as much as she, he would never give up his quest.
"I'll have to stay here until you change your mind," he said, handing Alex to her then reaching past her to lift Alex's car seat from the van. With his movement, he was close to her, could feel her breath upon his neck. He clenched his jaw, determined to resist the call her body made to his.
"Have you considered Alex in all of this?" She stepped away from him as she spoke, as if she, too, felt the call.
The loss of her nearness was both a sorrow and a relief. "Alex is the only one I am considering," he said gruffly. Now that Claire was dead, he couldn't allow himself to think of anyone else, couldn't continue to be attracted to this woman who had been Claire's friend.
"A baby needs a mother."
Her voice was so low it almost disappeared, as the life died in her eyes when he spoke of taking Alex. He tried to harden his heart, tried not to care. For Alexander's sake and for his own.
"Mothers aren't always what they appear," he said tightly.
"What do you mean?" She drew herself up, her hair around her head now a bristling halo of indignation.
It seemed suddenly as if there was a wall between them, that if he reached for her the wall would
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