strange way Peter Strickland was starting to get to her, to mean more to her than was wise. She was equally sure she couldn't afford for him to know.
"People never intend to fall in love," Peter told her solemnly.
"I thought you didn't believe in love."
"I don't."
"It could happen just the same."
"It won't."
"And if you do fall in love, what then? If you have Alex he'll be in your way, too."
"Babies are seldom convenient," he asserted, flinging back at her what she'd said to him. "Mostly they just happen, like Alexander happened for Claire." He bent and kissed Alex's head, their dark hair mingling. "You don't turn your back and say, not now, thank you very much."
"I didn't turn my back," Jann cried. "Alex has me to take care of him. You're not obligated to react to anything. Claire wanted me to have Alex and I want him, too. He's safe. He's loved."
"He's my nephew," Peter said, "and I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"Afraid?" she demanded.
"No."
"Every time we speak of love and marriage in relation to you, you try to change the subject."
"Your questions are too personal."
"No more personal than what you asked me." She stared at him hard. "I'd like to know the answer. Besides, you seem to know a lot about me, so no doubt you've had your lawyers working overtime on that. I'm entitled to ask questions too."
"You're entitled to nothing."
"You're afraid," she accused again then ruthlessly went on. "The woman you fall in love with might not care that Alex is your nephew. She'd probably prefer to have her own children than care for someone else's."
"The same could be said about you." His words smashed against her like storm waters against the shore.
"I don't want my own children," she denied, feeling her lips tremble, knowing as she spoke that what she said was a lie. "Alex is all I want. All I need. To me," she finished starkly, "Alex is everything."
* * *
Jann wearily put the last of the picnic dishes into the galley cupboards, wishing the words she and Peter had spoken would stop reverberating in her brain.
They had taken a stab at eating the feast she had brought, but neither had been very hungry. When at last they finished trying, Peter had packed up the food and dishes, while she wandered the Cultural Center with Alex in the stroller.
She had managed somehow then to control her brain's whirling, but it was impossible to do so now in the silence of her own space.
"Are you alone?" Peter asked, his voice coming from somewhere behind her.
"What are you doing here?" she cried, whirling to face him again. She should no longer be startled by Peter's sudden appearances, should be used to his frequent comings and goings. But the truth was, each time she saw him, the electricity between them grew, reaching for her like a magnetic current and jolting her into connection.
He swept one broad palm through his thick hair, pushing it back and away from his face. "I came to say goodnight to Alexander," he explained.
Jann touched the crystal around her neck and was grateful for its coolness. She needed it tonight to protect herself from this man.
"I wasn't expecting you," she whispered, wishing her heart would stop its pounding, trying hard now to remember that this man was her enemy.
"I wanted time with Alexander."
"He's asleep."
"That's what you always say."
"That's what babies mostly do." She smiled faintly. "You've already spent a lot of time with him today."
"Which is a good thing. I want him to feel comfortable with me when you go away."
Her blood seemed to freeze as it coursed through her veins.
His eyebrows lifted. "I'm not mistaken, am I? You are going to Maui tomorrow?"
Jann swirled her tongue around the edges of her mouth, but was unable to find the moisture she needed.
"How did you find out?" she finally managed.
"Ruby," Peter said shortly.
"Ruby told you?" Jann's limbs grew heavy. If Peter could get around the best friend she had in the world, he'd have no trouble with a judge.
"She's
"People never intend to fall in love," Peter told her solemnly.
"I thought you didn't believe in love."
"I don't."
"It could happen just the same."
"It won't."
"And if you do fall in love, what then? If you have Alex he'll be in your way, too."
"Babies are seldom convenient," he asserted, flinging back at her what she'd said to him. "Mostly they just happen, like Alexander happened for Claire." He bent and kissed Alex's head, their dark hair mingling. "You don't turn your back and say, not now, thank you very much."
"I didn't turn my back," Jann cried. "Alex has me to take care of him. You're not obligated to react to anything. Claire wanted me to have Alex and I want him, too. He's safe. He's loved."
"He's my nephew," Peter said, "and I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"Afraid?" she demanded.
"No."
"Every time we speak of love and marriage in relation to you, you try to change the subject."
"Your questions are too personal."
"No more personal than what you asked me." She stared at him hard. "I'd like to know the answer. Besides, you seem to know a lot about me, so no doubt you've had your lawyers working overtime on that. I'm entitled to ask questions too."
"You're entitled to nothing."
"You're afraid," she accused again then ruthlessly went on. "The woman you fall in love with might not care that Alex is your nephew. She'd probably prefer to have her own children than care for someone else's."
"The same could be said about you." His words smashed against her like storm waters against the shore.
"I don't want my own children," she denied, feeling her lips tremble, knowing as she spoke that what she said was a lie. "Alex is all I want. All I need. To me," she finished starkly, "Alex is everything."
* * *
Jann wearily put the last of the picnic dishes into the galley cupboards, wishing the words she and Peter had spoken would stop reverberating in her brain.
They had taken a stab at eating the feast she had brought, but neither had been very hungry. When at last they finished trying, Peter had packed up the food and dishes, while she wandered the Cultural Center with Alex in the stroller.
She had managed somehow then to control her brain's whirling, but it was impossible to do so now in the silence of her own space.
"Are you alone?" Peter asked, his voice coming from somewhere behind her.
"What are you doing here?" she cried, whirling to face him again. She should no longer be startled by Peter's sudden appearances, should be used to his frequent comings and goings. But the truth was, each time she saw him, the electricity between them grew, reaching for her like a magnetic current and jolting her into connection.
He swept one broad palm through his thick hair, pushing it back and away from his face. "I came to say goodnight to Alexander," he explained.
Jann touched the crystal around her neck and was grateful for its coolness. She needed it tonight to protect herself from this man.
"I wasn't expecting you," she whispered, wishing her heart would stop its pounding, trying hard now to remember that this man was her enemy.
"I wanted time with Alexander."
"He's asleep."
"That's what you always say."
"That's what babies mostly do." She smiled faintly. "You've already spent a lot of time with him today."
"Which is a good thing. I want him to feel comfortable with me when you go away."
Her blood seemed to freeze as it coursed through her veins.
His eyebrows lifted. "I'm not mistaken, am I? You are going to Maui tomorrow?"
Jann swirled her tongue around the edges of her mouth, but was unable to find the moisture she needed.
"How did you find out?" she finally managed.
"Ruby," Peter said shortly.
"Ruby told you?" Jann's limbs grew heavy. If Peter could get around the best friend she had in the world, he'd have no trouble with a judge.
"She's
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