he'd frown upon?” I sat up and dusted tiny bits of gravel from my knees
and palms. Wiley's proclivity towards upholding the law was somewhat diametrically
opposed to Dmitri's liking of breaking the lesser of said laws.
“Nope. Let's keep it that way.”
“He still dating the school marm? Is she
gonna be here to throw a wet blanket on the festivities again?” Wiley's woman
wasn't the most sociable creature this side of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. She
came to last year's Christmas party and condemned everyone for the sinful
enjoyment of a gift exchange, alcohol and the sexes mingling together. She's
entitled to her beliefs, but telling Jet she was doomed to roast on Beelzebub's
pitchfork was a touch too much. Jet ended up saying something pithy to the
school marm resulting in a brief exchange of conversation. The marm turned beet
red and stalked out of the party to sit in Wiley's truck. After five minutes of
waiting, she pounded the horn every thirty seconds until Wiley bid his goodbyes
to everyone and left. He hadn't socialized en mass with us since.
“No... they split a few months ago.
She's in Colusa with her fling. The shitty part is that Wiley planned on
proposing to her on Valentine’s Day. He had already ordered her ring when she
fucked around behind his back. He's still pissed about it all.”
“Aww, that sucks. Wiley's gonna have to
have fun. He's such a sober guy... he needs to cut loose. What type of booze
does he like? Willow already volunteered to be designated driver if she can use
the Jeep.”
“Would she drive all the way out to
Stonyford with an officer of the law in the same vehicle?”
“As long as she wasn't in handcuffs and
backseat of said vehicle, I'm sure she wouldn't mind. She'd get her giggles up
in the hills anyhow. He'd point out the wildlife, she'd yack about why she
can't trust men and it'd be a rewarding experience for them both. They'd bond
as only a life-long stoner and a man sworn to uphold federal and state law
could. Maybe even swap grow tips.”
“She's not going to be rocking the ganj
at the party, is she?”
“Oh God no, she promised to be
completely sober for the Fourth of July. Willow will have her own little
after-party when everything is wrapped up. And it's the condition she must
fulfill if she wants to use my wheels. She knows how I feel about her doing
that stuff around me... had enough of it when I was a troll.”
“It's called 'child', Kaylis. It’s not a
bad word.”
“Whatever. Spawn, offspring... take your
pick. I like 'trollbait' myself.” I smiled and stood up and made my way to the
bench beneath the largest mulberry tree. Willow once told me I was too Irish
for NorCal summers. I'm inclined to agree. Tanning is not something I can accomplish.
I burn lobster-red within fifteen minutes of exposure to summer sun if I don't
wear at least an SPF 45 sunblock. Although I was slathered with the stuff, I
preferred to avoid the sun when possible, especially in early afternoon.
“You're twisted. Seriously twisted,
Kaylis. I gotta be twisted too, otherwise why the hell do I get off on you
being demented like that?”
“It's because you're a goth at heart,
hun. I accepted it long ago. Give it a try. Embrace your inner goth, Dmitri.
Its not just for seventeen year olds anymore. Jet pulls off the corporate goth
librarian look really well. Ooh! Did I tell you she got switched from Reference
to the Children's section?”
Dmitri howled with laughter. “You are
fucking with me....right?”
“Oh no. No joke... she's picked up a
Willow-like habit for after work... it does enhance her calm because of how she
bottles her rampant use of 'fuck' and it's variations now. She used to mutter
them under her breath, but now I'm just amazed her head hasn't exploded yet.”
“She's banned from walking around with
liquor if wearing a tiny bikini with the shot glass tucked between her tits. I
realize she was trying to help people get sociable, but never again. She's to
leave
and palms. Wiley's proclivity towards upholding the law was somewhat diametrically
opposed to Dmitri's liking of breaking the lesser of said laws.
“Nope. Let's keep it that way.”
“He still dating the school marm? Is she
gonna be here to throw a wet blanket on the festivities again?” Wiley's woman
wasn't the most sociable creature this side of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. She
came to last year's Christmas party and condemned everyone for the sinful
enjoyment of a gift exchange, alcohol and the sexes mingling together. She's
entitled to her beliefs, but telling Jet she was doomed to roast on Beelzebub's
pitchfork was a touch too much. Jet ended up saying something pithy to the
school marm resulting in a brief exchange of conversation. The marm turned beet
red and stalked out of the party to sit in Wiley's truck. After five minutes of
waiting, she pounded the horn every thirty seconds until Wiley bid his goodbyes
to everyone and left. He hadn't socialized en mass with us since.
“No... they split a few months ago.
She's in Colusa with her fling. The shitty part is that Wiley planned on
proposing to her on Valentine’s Day. He had already ordered her ring when she
fucked around behind his back. He's still pissed about it all.”
“Aww, that sucks. Wiley's gonna have to
have fun. He's such a sober guy... he needs to cut loose. What type of booze
does he like? Willow already volunteered to be designated driver if she can use
the Jeep.”
“Would she drive all the way out to
Stonyford with an officer of the law in the same vehicle?”
“As long as she wasn't in handcuffs and
backseat of said vehicle, I'm sure she wouldn't mind. She'd get her giggles up
in the hills anyhow. He'd point out the wildlife, she'd yack about why she
can't trust men and it'd be a rewarding experience for them both. They'd bond
as only a life-long stoner and a man sworn to uphold federal and state law
could. Maybe even swap grow tips.”
“She's not going to be rocking the ganj
at the party, is she?”
“Oh God no, she promised to be
completely sober for the Fourth of July. Willow will have her own little
after-party when everything is wrapped up. And it's the condition she must
fulfill if she wants to use my wheels. She knows how I feel about her doing
that stuff around me... had enough of it when I was a troll.”
“It's called 'child', Kaylis. It’s not a
bad word.”
“Whatever. Spawn, offspring... take your
pick. I like 'trollbait' myself.” I smiled and stood up and made my way to the
bench beneath the largest mulberry tree. Willow once told me I was too Irish
for NorCal summers. I'm inclined to agree. Tanning is not something I can accomplish.
I burn lobster-red within fifteen minutes of exposure to summer sun if I don't
wear at least an SPF 45 sunblock. Although I was slathered with the stuff, I
preferred to avoid the sun when possible, especially in early afternoon.
“You're twisted. Seriously twisted,
Kaylis. I gotta be twisted too, otherwise why the hell do I get off on you
being demented like that?”
“It's because you're a goth at heart,
hun. I accepted it long ago. Give it a try. Embrace your inner goth, Dmitri.
Its not just for seventeen year olds anymore. Jet pulls off the corporate goth
librarian look really well. Ooh! Did I tell you she got switched from Reference
to the Children's section?”
Dmitri howled with laughter. “You are
fucking with me....right?”
“Oh no. No joke... she's picked up a
Willow-like habit for after work... it does enhance her calm because of how she
bottles her rampant use of 'fuck' and it's variations now. She used to mutter
them under her breath, but now I'm just amazed her head hasn't exploded yet.”
“She's banned from walking around with
liquor if wearing a tiny bikini with the shot glass tucked between her tits. I
realize she was trying to help people get sociable, but never again. She's to
leave
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