rattling the roof and occasionally the black sky lit up with lightning.
I started flicking through A Midsummer Night’s Dream .
It has to be said, it is a bonkers play. All about fairies and Bottom and love potions. I’m going to write some inspirational quotes in my Darkly Demanding Damson Diary.
I write:
Nay faith, let me not play a woman. I have a beard coming!!!!!
This is a good one:
“Bless thee, Bottom!”
How hilarious to have a character called Bottom.
Oh and this reminds me of what Ted Barraclough said to Ecclesiastica Bottomly, when she was sitting on his wall:
“Methought I was enamored of an ass.”
Tee-hee, imagine being called Bottomly and having such a big bottom.
Don’t forget your Bottom
S IDONE WAS BACK AT assembly the next day. She came on in a gold catsuit and began pacing up and down. Like a gold cat. In a suit.
“Let me tell you a story, girls.”
She came to the front of the stage and continued in a sort of softy voice, looking out like she could see something we couldn’t see.
“In the heady days of my youth, I was in a Broadway production. Ealing Broadway. It was just a small part as a tomato in the comedy, Have You Seen My Tomatoes?
“But I gave it my all. Every night I turned up and I BECAME a tomato. As the show went on for weeks, some of the other girls in the chorus grew tired of being tomatoes, they said the costumes made them look fat, some of them didn’t even bother to dye their heads green. But I always did. Because I cared. I’ve always cared, perhaps I’ve cared just too darned much.”
She looked down for ages, then she shook her shoulders and said, “I even spent most of one afternoon in a greenhouse full of tomatoes to really pick up their tomatoiness. And, girls, my girls, it paid off because one night a producer came along and saw me and plucked me from the vegetable patch and … and the rest is history. I lived my dream and then I came here to let others live their dreams.”
At which point she smiled. That was a bit spooky.
She said, “And let us live the dream while we still can because one of our own little stars has been favored by the gods of showbiz. Has been plucked from the vegetable patch … Honey is off to Hollywood!!!!!!”
Everybody went mad when they heard about Honey. Lifting her up and dancing about with her. Then putting her on the stage. Her golden honey hair was shaking and curling about, and her corkers looked quite jolly as well.
When we stopped clapping and whistling, she looked out at us and said, “Oh, thank you, itth weally thweet of you to be tho glad for me, and even if I do well and they like me I will weally, weally mith you all. I will never forget Dother Hall and my fwends and teachers here. And I will come back and visit and see you all again.”
Everyone clapped up a storm. I felt like crying. Monty was crying. So was Gudrun and even Bob blew his nose on his T-shirt.
Sidone glided across in her catsuit and put her arm around Honey’s shoulders and spoke over the top of the hubbub. “Yes go, Honey, go fly to your dream. Live your dream. These fleeting moments of happiness amidst the interminable agony of grim despair. And loss of dreams. Say farewell, Honey, say farewell to Dother Hall. Because dreams come to an end. And then nightmares become dreams and the dreams that you dreamed are no longer dreams you can dream they are the nightmares that you dreamed were dreams.”
What was she on about?
I said, “Has she snapped?”
As we looked at her everyone went silent. Sidone stretched both arms out to us and said, “My girls, my poor girls … my … poor … girls.” Her shoulders were heaving.
And then she collapsed in a heap.
Monty rushed over to Sidone and was slapping her about the face. Then he started tugging at her arm and Blaise and Bob came on and they took an arm and a leg each and began dragging her to the side of the stage. Like she was some golden fish fingers.
Dr. Lightowler came striding
I started flicking through A Midsummer Night’s Dream .
It has to be said, it is a bonkers play. All about fairies and Bottom and love potions. I’m going to write some inspirational quotes in my Darkly Demanding Damson Diary.
I write:
Nay faith, let me not play a woman. I have a beard coming!!!!!
This is a good one:
“Bless thee, Bottom!”
How hilarious to have a character called Bottom.
Oh and this reminds me of what Ted Barraclough said to Ecclesiastica Bottomly, when she was sitting on his wall:
“Methought I was enamored of an ass.”
Tee-hee, imagine being called Bottomly and having such a big bottom.
Don’t forget your Bottom
S IDONE WAS BACK AT assembly the next day. She came on in a gold catsuit and began pacing up and down. Like a gold cat. In a suit.
“Let me tell you a story, girls.”
She came to the front of the stage and continued in a sort of softy voice, looking out like she could see something we couldn’t see.
“In the heady days of my youth, I was in a Broadway production. Ealing Broadway. It was just a small part as a tomato in the comedy, Have You Seen My Tomatoes?
“But I gave it my all. Every night I turned up and I BECAME a tomato. As the show went on for weeks, some of the other girls in the chorus grew tired of being tomatoes, they said the costumes made them look fat, some of them didn’t even bother to dye their heads green. But I always did. Because I cared. I’ve always cared, perhaps I’ve cared just too darned much.”
She looked down for ages, then she shook her shoulders and said, “I even spent most of one afternoon in a greenhouse full of tomatoes to really pick up their tomatoiness. And, girls, my girls, it paid off because one night a producer came along and saw me and plucked me from the vegetable patch and … and the rest is history. I lived my dream and then I came here to let others live their dreams.”
At which point she smiled. That was a bit spooky.
She said, “And let us live the dream while we still can because one of our own little stars has been favored by the gods of showbiz. Has been plucked from the vegetable patch … Honey is off to Hollywood!!!!!!”
Everybody went mad when they heard about Honey. Lifting her up and dancing about with her. Then putting her on the stage. Her golden honey hair was shaking and curling about, and her corkers looked quite jolly as well.
When we stopped clapping and whistling, she looked out at us and said, “Oh, thank you, itth weally thweet of you to be tho glad for me, and even if I do well and they like me I will weally, weally mith you all. I will never forget Dother Hall and my fwends and teachers here. And I will come back and visit and see you all again.”
Everyone clapped up a storm. I felt like crying. Monty was crying. So was Gudrun and even Bob blew his nose on his T-shirt.
Sidone glided across in her catsuit and put her arm around Honey’s shoulders and spoke over the top of the hubbub. “Yes go, Honey, go fly to your dream. Live your dream. These fleeting moments of happiness amidst the interminable agony of grim despair. And loss of dreams. Say farewell, Honey, say farewell to Dother Hall. Because dreams come to an end. And then nightmares become dreams and the dreams that you dreamed are no longer dreams you can dream they are the nightmares that you dreamed were dreams.”
What was she on about?
I said, “Has she snapped?”
As we looked at her everyone went silent. Sidone stretched both arms out to us and said, “My girls, my poor girls … my … poor … girls.” Her shoulders were heaving.
And then she collapsed in a heap.
Monty rushed over to Sidone and was slapping her about the face. Then he started tugging at her arm and Blaise and Bob came on and they took an arm and a leg each and began dragging her to the side of the stage. Like she was some golden fish fingers.
Dr. Lightowler came striding
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