A Kiss of Shadows by Laurell K. Hamilton

she can’t know what the word means. She’s never seen what a man can do to a woman if he really wants to hurt her. I’ve seen brutal, Detective, and what happened tonight wasn’t brutal, but just because I’m not bleeding my life away through tubes or my face is still recognizable under the bruises, doesn’t mean it wasn’t rape.”
    Something passed through his eyes, something I couldn’t read, then his eyes were back to giving nothing away. “This wasn’t your first time, was it?” His voice was soft, gentle.
    I looked at the floor, afraid to meet his eyes. “Not me, Detective, not me.”
    â€œA friend,” he said in that same gentle voice.
    I looked up then, and the sudden show of compassion almost did me in, almost made me want to confide in him. Almost. I remembered Keelin’s face a mask of blood, one eye socket crushed so that her eye had lolled out onto her cheek. If she’d had a nose, it would have been broken, but her mother was a brownie, and they don’t have human noses. Three of her arms had been held at awkward angles like the broken legs of a spider. No sidhe healer would lay hands on her because she was so near death and they would not risk their own lives for a goblin-brownie half-breed. My father had carried her to a human hospital and reported the attack to the authorities. My father had been Prince of Flame and Flesh, and even his sister the Queen feared him, so he was not punished for inviting the humans in. It was on record. I could talk about it without being punished. So good to know there was something I could tell the whole truth on tonight.
    â€œTell me,” he said, voice grown even softer.
    â€œWhen we were both seventeen, my best friend Keelin Nic Brown was raped.” My voice was bland and empty, as Alvera’s eyes had been moments before. “They broke the bones around one of her eyes so that the eye was just lying there on her face, hanging by threads.” I took a deep breath and pushed the memory away, not aware that I’d pushed it away with my hands, as if that would help, until I’d finished the movement. “I’ve seen people beaten, but not like that, never like that. They tried to beat her to death and very near succeeded.” I had myself under control again. I wasn’t going to cry. I was glad. I hated to cry. It always made me feel so weak.
    â€œI’m sorry,” he said.
    â€œDon’t be sorry for me, Detective Alvera. Watching Keelin heal gave me a measuring rod for violence. If it wasn’t as bad as what happened to Keelin, then it can’t be that bad. It’s gotten me through some very harsh things without having hysterics.”
    â€œLike tonight,” he said in that same talk-the-jumper-down-from-the-ledge voice.
    I nodded. “Yeah, like tonight, though I will admit that what happened to Alistair Norton was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen some bad things. I did not kill him. I’m not saying I might not have killed him if he’d completed the rape. When I recovered from the lust spell, I might have hunted him down. I don’t know. But someone else took care of it for me.”
    â€œWho?” he asked.
    My voice dropped to a whisper. “I wish I knew, Detective. I really wish I knew.”
    â€œDo you need to touch me to prove this lust oil of yours is real?”
    I nodded.
    â€œYou have my permission,” Alvera said.
    â€œIf I prove that the lust spell is real, you’ll bring in narcotics?”
    â€œYeah.”
    â€œYou swear it,” I said, “your word of honor.”
    His eyes got all serious. He seemed to understand that his word meant something to me that it might not to a human. Finally, he nodded. “Yeah, I give you my word.”
    I glanced at Eileen Galan and back to the one-way glass on the far wall. “Spoken before witnesses. The Gods themselves beware of it if