like: “I'm not here to give you answers. I'll show you the clues, but I can't explain their meaning. You're the one who's writing this story, not me.”’
Viktor was forced to concede that Anna's story was becoming increasingly fanciful, which wasn't entirely surprising in view of her mental health. He only hoped that her imaginings bore some relation, no matter how tenuous, to the truth. At the same time he couldn't help but realize that his attitude towards her delusions was slightly pathological. He decided not to care.
‘Where was she taking you?’
‘To see the next clue. She said, “You've seen where everything started. It's time I showed you something else.”’
‘The first clue was the cabin in the forest?’
‘Yes.’
‘So what happened next?’
‘Charlotte said something really strange, something I'll never forget.’ Anna pressed her lips together and spoke in the whispered voice of a young girl. ‘ “I want to show you where the illness lives.”’
‘Where it lives ?’
‘That's what she said.’
Viktor shivered. He hadn't warmed up since coming in from the beach, and Anna's unnaturally childish voice seemed to lower his temperature by a couple of degrees.
‘Where did you go?’ he persisted. ‘Did you find the illness?’
‘We drove back to Berlin via the Glienicke Bridgewith Charlotte giving me directions. I can't remember the rest of the route. For one thing, I'm not familiar with that part of the city – and besides, I couldn't concentrate because Charlotte had taken a turn for the worse.’
Viktor felt a lurching sensation in his stomach. ‘What was the matter with her?’
‘It started with a nosebleed. We were near the lido on Lake Wannsee at the time. I parked outside a beer garden and Charlotte lay down in the back. The nosebleed stopped, but a moment later . . .’
She started shaking .
‘. . . she started shaking all over. She was shivering so violently that I wanted to rush her to hospital.’ She gave a forced laugh. ‘But then I remembered she didn't exist. A visit to the doctor's was hardly going to help.’
‘So you did nothing?’
‘To be honest, I thought it was best. It seemed foolish to pander to my hallucinations, but Charlotte kept getting worse. She was shivering all over and begging me to take her to the pharmacy.’
She needed penicillin .
‘She wanted antibiotics, but I knew it was hopeless: we needed a prescription. I tried to explain that to Charlotte, but the tantrums started. I couldn't calm her down.’
‘Did she shout at you?’
‘She was shouting, crying and screaming at the top of her lungs. It was dreadful to listen to her hoarse little voice.’
‘What kind of things was she saying?’
‘She blamed me for creating her. I remember her yelling, “You gave me this illness; you need to make me well!” I knew I was hallucinating and she didn't exist, but it was no good – I couldn't ignore her. In the end, I drove to the pharmacy, bought some paracetamol for her headache and charmed the guy behind the counter into dispensing the penicillin. He handed me the tablets and told me to come back with the prescription as soon as I could. If I'm honest with myself, I was doing it for my own good and not to help Charlotte: I knew I wouldn't get rid of my hallucinations unless I did what she said.’
‘Did it work?’
‘Things improved for me, but not for Charlotte.’
Viktor nodded and waited for her to explain.
‘Charlotte took two tablets, but I don't think they helped. If anything, she got worse, not better. She looked pale and listless, but at least she stopped screaming. I guess I was still in shock, though, because I can't remember how we got to the villa by the lake.’
‘But you remember the villa?’
‘It was stunning, simply stunning. I've never seen such a beautiful house in Berlin. It didn't seem to belong in the city – it was more like a country estate. The grounds must have covered a few thousand square
Viktor was forced to concede that Anna's story was becoming increasingly fanciful, which wasn't entirely surprising in view of her mental health. He only hoped that her imaginings bore some relation, no matter how tenuous, to the truth. At the same time he couldn't help but realize that his attitude towards her delusions was slightly pathological. He decided not to care.
‘Where was she taking you?’
‘To see the next clue. She said, “You've seen where everything started. It's time I showed you something else.”’
‘The first clue was the cabin in the forest?’
‘Yes.’
‘So what happened next?’
‘Charlotte said something really strange, something I'll never forget.’ Anna pressed her lips together and spoke in the whispered voice of a young girl. ‘ “I want to show you where the illness lives.”’
‘Where it lives ?’
‘That's what she said.’
Viktor shivered. He hadn't warmed up since coming in from the beach, and Anna's unnaturally childish voice seemed to lower his temperature by a couple of degrees.
‘Where did you go?’ he persisted. ‘Did you find the illness?’
‘We drove back to Berlin via the Glienicke Bridgewith Charlotte giving me directions. I can't remember the rest of the route. For one thing, I'm not familiar with that part of the city – and besides, I couldn't concentrate because Charlotte had taken a turn for the worse.’
Viktor felt a lurching sensation in his stomach. ‘What was the matter with her?’
‘It started with a nosebleed. We were near the lido on Lake Wannsee at the time. I parked outside a beer garden and Charlotte lay down in the back. The nosebleed stopped, but a moment later . . .’
She started shaking .
‘. . . she started shaking all over. She was shivering so violently that I wanted to rush her to hospital.’ She gave a forced laugh. ‘But then I remembered she didn't exist. A visit to the doctor's was hardly going to help.’
‘So you did nothing?’
‘To be honest, I thought it was best. It seemed foolish to pander to my hallucinations, but Charlotte kept getting worse. She was shivering all over and begging me to take her to the pharmacy.’
She needed penicillin .
‘She wanted antibiotics, but I knew it was hopeless: we needed a prescription. I tried to explain that to Charlotte, but the tantrums started. I couldn't calm her down.’
‘Did she shout at you?’
‘She was shouting, crying and screaming at the top of her lungs. It was dreadful to listen to her hoarse little voice.’
‘What kind of things was she saying?’
‘She blamed me for creating her. I remember her yelling, “You gave me this illness; you need to make me well!” I knew I was hallucinating and she didn't exist, but it was no good – I couldn't ignore her. In the end, I drove to the pharmacy, bought some paracetamol for her headache and charmed the guy behind the counter into dispensing the penicillin. He handed me the tablets and told me to come back with the prescription as soon as I could. If I'm honest with myself, I was doing it for my own good and not to help Charlotte: I knew I wouldn't get rid of my hallucinations unless I did what she said.’
‘Did it work?’
‘Things improved for me, but not for Charlotte.’
Viktor nodded and waited for her to explain.
‘Charlotte took two tablets, but I don't think they helped. If anything, she got worse, not better. She looked pale and listless, but at least she stopped screaming. I guess I was still in shock, though, because I can't remember how we got to the villa by the lake.’
‘But you remember the villa?’
‘It was stunning, simply stunning. I've never seen such a beautiful house in Berlin. It didn't seem to belong in the city – it was more like a country estate. The grounds must have covered a few thousand square
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