and she wasn’t afraid to admit to herself that Christian attracted her greatly—indeed, too much. Each time she saw him, conversed with him, he became more enticing in her eyes. It would be easy to forget who she was, and that a relationship of any kind with him could not only put her life in jeopardy but destroy his.
Sarah decided it was time to stop this nonsense of a dream and get back to reality. To change the subject she asked, “I saw you up on deck this afternoon. Is the sword practice to keep you from boredom or does it have a more sinister purpose?”
Christian lowered himself into his chair with a gruff sigh. He narrowed his eyes and pointed a finger at her. “Coward!”
“Spoken truly like an arrogant man who risks nothing by indulging in—in whatever he desires.”
“What is it you think you will risk? I’ve already promised you security for life regardless of what occurs between us. Yet you readily dismiss this scorching attraction between us.” He smiled inwardly as he saw her eyes widen at his direct approach.
“I see we are no longer hiding behind insinuations,” she replied. “Very well. I too shall be direct.” She raised her eyes to his. “I will never be your mistress. I’ve been owned by a man before, and I shall never put myself in that situation again.”
His mind balked at the mental image she had just conjured up. “Owned? I don’t understand.”
She shook her head in exasperation. “My husband. To him I was nothing but a piece of property.” Her voice appeared calm and rational, yet she still made no sense to him.
Incomprehension colored his words. “You were his wife. How is that anything like a kept mistress?”
She gazed out of the cabin windows, sadness dimming the sparkle in her eyes. “You’re a man of title and wealth and privilege. Yet you were also an officer in the army. I suspect all your life you have issued commands and they have been followed.”
He nodded. “But in the army I had to follow orders too. I did not always agree with everycommand given to me, but I had no choice but to follow them.”
“What if your whole life was like that? A life of nothing but orders and commands? A life where you had no choice but to acquiesce?”
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I wouldn’t like it at all.” He paused, knowing now where this was heading. Obviously her husband had been a dictator. “I hope that I’m sensitive enough not to impose my will on others unless I have a very good reason.”
Sarah took a sip of brandy, her pursed lips forming a perfect pout. As he noticed this, heat crept around his groin area, making him very aware of a specific request that one never expected a wife to agree to—but a mistress, yes.
She raised a delicately shaped eyebrow and said, “Reason? My husband and I did not agree on the definition of a ‘very good reason.’ He did not take anyone but himself into account because he didn’t have to. Everyone and everything around him he considered his property—including me.” Her eyes welled up. “My husband’s word was law. I can’t live like that again.” She gulped back her tears. “I won’t.”
Was she talking about marriage? Panic hit him, stirring his stomach’s contents like a whirlwind. He knew that, as the Earl of Markham, he would be expected to marry. Did she think that because he was now ugly and unappealing, he’d marry a governess?
Pride rose like a rabid dog to grab at his throat. He coughed, trying to clear away his anger. “I think I may have misled you. I wasn’t offering marriage.”
She looked at him in shock and then gave a delightful laugh. “Don’t look so panicked. I would never dream of such a thing. Men of title do not marry governesses. I was talking about a mistress. A mistress has even fewer rights than a wife. A mistress is an employee of sorts. Someone you control, a woman who is solely at your beck and call. She is bought and paid for, owned in fact, is she
Sarah decided it was time to stop this nonsense of a dream and get back to reality. To change the subject she asked, “I saw you up on deck this afternoon. Is the sword practice to keep you from boredom or does it have a more sinister purpose?”
Christian lowered himself into his chair with a gruff sigh. He narrowed his eyes and pointed a finger at her. “Coward!”
“Spoken truly like an arrogant man who risks nothing by indulging in—in whatever he desires.”
“What is it you think you will risk? I’ve already promised you security for life regardless of what occurs between us. Yet you readily dismiss this scorching attraction between us.” He smiled inwardly as he saw her eyes widen at his direct approach.
“I see we are no longer hiding behind insinuations,” she replied. “Very well. I too shall be direct.” She raised her eyes to his. “I will never be your mistress. I’ve been owned by a man before, and I shall never put myself in that situation again.”
His mind balked at the mental image she had just conjured up. “Owned? I don’t understand.”
She shook her head in exasperation. “My husband. To him I was nothing but a piece of property.” Her voice appeared calm and rational, yet she still made no sense to him.
Incomprehension colored his words. “You were his wife. How is that anything like a kept mistress?”
She gazed out of the cabin windows, sadness dimming the sparkle in her eyes. “You’re a man of title and wealth and privilege. Yet you were also an officer in the army. I suspect all your life you have issued commands and they have been followed.”
He nodded. “But in the army I had to follow orders too. I did not always agree with everycommand given to me, but I had no choice but to follow them.”
“What if your whole life was like that? A life of nothing but orders and commands? A life where you had no choice but to acquiesce?”
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I wouldn’t like it at all.” He paused, knowing now where this was heading. Obviously her husband had been a dictator. “I hope that I’m sensitive enough not to impose my will on others unless I have a very good reason.”
Sarah took a sip of brandy, her pursed lips forming a perfect pout. As he noticed this, heat crept around his groin area, making him very aware of a specific request that one never expected a wife to agree to—but a mistress, yes.
She raised a delicately shaped eyebrow and said, “Reason? My husband and I did not agree on the definition of a ‘very good reason.’ He did not take anyone but himself into account because he didn’t have to. Everyone and everything around him he considered his property—including me.” Her eyes welled up. “My husband’s word was law. I can’t live like that again.” She gulped back her tears. “I won’t.”
Was she talking about marriage? Panic hit him, stirring his stomach’s contents like a whirlwind. He knew that, as the Earl of Markham, he would be expected to marry. Did she think that because he was now ugly and unappealing, he’d marry a governess?
Pride rose like a rabid dog to grab at his throat. He coughed, trying to clear away his anger. “I think I may have misled you. I wasn’t offering marriage.”
She looked at him in shock and then gave a delightful laugh. “Don’t look so panicked. I would never dream of such a thing. Men of title do not marry governesses. I was talking about a mistress. A mistress has even fewer rights than a wife. A mistress is an employee of sorts. Someone you control, a woman who is solely at your beck and call. She is bought and paid for, owned in fact, is she
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