A Dictionary of Mutual Understanding by Jackie Copleton

thinks she loves him?’ He could not answer and I folded the picture up. ‘Have dinner somewhere else tonight. Try not to drink too much. We’ll fix this. Trust me. Go now.’
    When Yuko came down to dinner I said her father had been detained at work. I studied her as we ate. My quiet child had flowered since that summer without us, until that day, understanding why. She was winter blossom burst from the chilled bud, delicate and yet defiant. Why had I not seen this? I should have been more watchful, more careful. She smiled at me as we picked at our food, recounted some tale about a friend, which must have been a lie. She frowned when I did not respond. ‘Are you well, Mother?’
    I managed to smile. ‘There have been so many lunches and charity meetings, I feel I’ve been neglecting you.’
    â€˜No, not at all. Don’t feel bad. I’ve enjoyed this summer. I feel . . .’
    â€˜Yes?’
    She blushed as she replied. ‘Alive.’
    Maybe Yuko, eventually, would have realised how Sato had used her for her youth, for her convenience, for her beauty. Maybe she would have learned she was not his first infidelity, perhaps not even his youngest. He would have thrown her away as he had so many others before her. But my regret is this: maybe if I hadn’t tried to prise them apart so forcefully and suddenly then perhaps she would have had time to appreciate his weaknesses; she would have broken away from him naturally, and yes, just maybe, if that had happened, she would have lived.

Moral Indebtedness
    On: People incur social and psychological indebtedness upon receiving a favour from those in superior positions. The concept of on derived from Chinese philosophy and Japanese feudal society. The samurai warrior fulfilled his obligations to his lord in battle, risking his life if necessary. Sons and daughters exercise acts of ko
(
filial piety) and take care of their ageing parents. Human relations are bound by a complicated network of mutual responsibilities and obligations.
    Kenzo and I only had to wait two days before Yuko betrayed herself. She put on her sandals, an excuse light on her lips and said goodbye. The slim rectangle of her grey kimono dipped out of sight of the garden before I followed her down the hill. Under the canopy of a butcher’s shop I watched her step inside a street car. I signalled for a taxi and told the driver I would pay him extra for an unusual errand. The city passed by in streaks of colour, dappled by sun, illuminated in shadow. Down through the centre, past Chinatown into a street of noise, trade and poverty; this is where Yuko went. She walked past stalls selling baked squid, buttered peanuts and fried wasabi peas and disappeared into a building between a noodle bar and a cycle-repair shop. That he would take her to this corner of Nagasaki where children ran naked and toothless women long since sent packing from thebrothels of Maruyama sold trinkets or themselves. That he would treat her like one of the city’s whores. I vowed Sato would pay for this.
    The driver stopped outside the building and I asked him to wait. I called out and an old woman appeared. She seemed amused by my presence. ‘Yeah? You lost?’ I tried to peer into the gloom of the hall. ‘I’m looking for a girl.’ She laughed. ‘Any particular kind?’ She shouted behind her and a man appeared, bare-chested, a phoenix tattooed across his chest and arms. ‘Makito, who’s around at the moment?’ I opened my purse, a drawstring silk bag. ‘I’m not buying. I just need to know where the girl in the grey kimono goes.’ She looked at the money in my hand. ‘The room number, that’s all I want.’ She gestured and the man disappeared. ‘You’re not going to cause us any trouble, are you?’ I told her no. I just needed information then I would go. She looked me over. ‘The wives normally