talking fast, shaking his head as he spoke. “It was me, it was all me. I should not have come here. I should not have put you in this situation.” She wanted to speak, to catch at his hands, which were moving fast in the air as he spoke, but he did not notice her. “I have not been a gentleman, and for that I’m sorry.” She wanted to poke fun at his choice of words, but he was deeply serious and she was shocked to realize that he regretted her as if she had been his tawdry mistake.
“It was just a kiss…” her voice died in her throat.
“No,” he said, “It’s never just a kiss. It’s a promise I broke to myself. I don’t want to be that person.”
“What person?” She could not help the harshness in her tone.
“The one who breaks everything because he can’t control himself. This is not the way.” They were silent for a moment. “I’m going to take my sleeping bag and share the tent with Mirza Uncle. He needs someone to watch over him tonight.” She nodded and watched him gather up his things, too fast, and head out into the garden.
Chapter 13
Amal stood in front of the stack and read the titles with her head at an angle. It was a very small library, and she did not hold out much hope of finding the books Mirza Uncle had requested. There were a few books that covered that time period in India, and she piled them on the nearest table. It was mid-morning and deeply quiet, without the after-school crowd. A group of seniors was gathered around a coffee table by the window, mostly white haired ladies and one gentleman who looked as if he could be sleeping. Amal looked into her bag from time to time, but there was no message from Rehan. She had called him several times over the last few days. She had come down early in the morning after he had moved into Mirza’s tent, but he had already left. Mirza Uncle was no longer feverish but was still distracted, shooing her out of the tent and talking to himself. She had thought about telling the Mintons, but she could not face the idea. She had tried Rehan’s phone several times, but he did not pick up. When Amal finally got through to Rehan that morning, he had answered the phone gruffly and told her that he would call back later. She had thrown the phone back into her purse.
She gathered up a few books and checked them out with Mirza’s library card before stepping outside. It had been raining earlier that day, and the uneven ground still held small dirty puddles that she had to step around. The pavement was narrow and soon led out of the small town through the residential neighborhood. The hedges of front gardens muscled their way into the space so that she had to lean slightly away from them as she walked. Cars sped by dangerously close, but the rush of air as they passed her felt like oxygen to the anger that was coursing through her.
As she walked past the tall fence that bordered the neighborhood allotments, she looked in to see flashes of orange and blue, the gardeners bent over their work. As she walked faster, their bodies became whole, the pickets only a thin blur in the corner of her vision. She heard voices, men’s as well as women’s, the soft whack of metal on soil and the strangely satisfying sound of roots being torn from the ground.
Her phone rang as she stepped into the house.
“You need to come,” she said to Rehan immediately. “It’s getting serious…. Well, I don’t know… he’s talking to himself. I think he’s going downhill.”
Amal heard Rehan sigh deeply. There was silence for a moment and her heart started beating wildly. “It’s serious, I think. I wouldn’t be asking for your help again if I didn’t really need it.”
“Listen, I don’t know. I can’t do this anymore.”
“What?”
“Well, what do you expect? Look, I’m busy. I have other things to take care of.”
“You’re busy…?” she repeated, her face flushing and her scalp suddenly hot and itchy. “So, that’s it then?
“It was just a kiss…” her voice died in her throat.
“No,” he said, “It’s never just a kiss. It’s a promise I broke to myself. I don’t want to be that person.”
“What person?” She could not help the harshness in her tone.
“The one who breaks everything because he can’t control himself. This is not the way.” They were silent for a moment. “I’m going to take my sleeping bag and share the tent with Mirza Uncle. He needs someone to watch over him tonight.” She nodded and watched him gather up his things, too fast, and head out into the garden.
Chapter 13
Amal stood in front of the stack and read the titles with her head at an angle. It was a very small library, and she did not hold out much hope of finding the books Mirza Uncle had requested. There were a few books that covered that time period in India, and she piled them on the nearest table. It was mid-morning and deeply quiet, without the after-school crowd. A group of seniors was gathered around a coffee table by the window, mostly white haired ladies and one gentleman who looked as if he could be sleeping. Amal looked into her bag from time to time, but there was no message from Rehan. She had called him several times over the last few days. She had come down early in the morning after he had moved into Mirza’s tent, but he had already left. Mirza Uncle was no longer feverish but was still distracted, shooing her out of the tent and talking to himself. She had thought about telling the Mintons, but she could not face the idea. She had tried Rehan’s phone several times, but he did not pick up. When Amal finally got through to Rehan that morning, he had answered the phone gruffly and told her that he would call back later. She had thrown the phone back into her purse.
She gathered up a few books and checked them out with Mirza’s library card before stepping outside. It had been raining earlier that day, and the uneven ground still held small dirty puddles that she had to step around. The pavement was narrow and soon led out of the small town through the residential neighborhood. The hedges of front gardens muscled their way into the space so that she had to lean slightly away from them as she walked. Cars sped by dangerously close, but the rush of air as they passed her felt like oxygen to the anger that was coursing through her.
As she walked past the tall fence that bordered the neighborhood allotments, she looked in to see flashes of orange and blue, the gardeners bent over their work. As she walked faster, their bodies became whole, the pickets only a thin blur in the corner of her vision. She heard voices, men’s as well as women’s, the soft whack of metal on soil and the strangely satisfying sound of roots being torn from the ground.
Her phone rang as she stepped into the house.
“You need to come,” she said to Rehan immediately. “It’s getting serious…. Well, I don’t know… he’s talking to himself. I think he’s going downhill.”
Amal heard Rehan sigh deeply. There was silence for a moment and her heart started beating wildly. “It’s serious, I think. I wouldn’t be asking for your help again if I didn’t really need it.”
“Listen, I don’t know. I can’t do this anymore.”
“What?”
“Well, what do you expect? Look, I’m busy. I have other things to take care of.”
“You’re busy…?” she repeated, her face flushing and her scalp suddenly hot and itchy. “So, that’s it then?
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