A Beautiful Mess by Emily McKee

Maybe some other time.”
    Neil just slapped me on the back and said, “Well ok then,” and walked back to his room.
    I didn’t take my eyes off the television when he came out of his room and started to walk to the door but then he said, “When I come home we’re talking about the girl on your mind Jas,” and with that he left the apartment and it gave me time to be filled with my sorrows.
    I’m not sure exactly how many pep talks I had to give myself to finally text Ash, but I did, twice, and I can’t say that I blame her for saying:
    Ashlynn - … no we can’t. I’m attempting to move on, you should too.
    A half hour later Neil came back from the beach and told me all about this gorgeous girl he met and that he was taking her out on a date tonight. I was happy for him because at least one of us was living our life. After Neil got ready he came out to the living room and had a beer with me.
    Finishing his beer he said, “Well, wish me luck. I feel lucky about this one.”
    I laughed and said, “How lucky?”
    He just smirked and said, “That’s for me to know, but she seems like a special one.”
    A few hours later and a few more beers in my system I texted her again and just told her the truth.
    Jason – I’ll never move on Ashlynn.
    I was waiting for her to text back when I heard the front door unlock and open. “Back so soon Neil?”
    Neil just laughed and said, “Nah, she’s here with me.”
    I wanted to see the beautiful girl Neil met at the beach and took out for a date when I saw blonde hair and bright blue eyes staring at me and I said, “Ashlynn?”
    I thought she was going to collapse because she barely whispered my name, “Jason.”
    I couldn’t believe that Neil was talking about Ashlynn and I felt like someone kicked me in the balls because I couldn’t breathe. I looked over at Neil and he looked between me and Ashlynn and then I saw him get everything together.
    He looked over at me and said, “This is her.” It was more of a statement then a question because he could see with his own eyes our reactions.
    He then looked over at Ashlynn and said, “This is him.”
    The fuck does he mean by that? Were they talking about me on their date? And if they were then why was Neil bringing her back to our apartment? My blood instantly boiled and I slammed the beer I was holding onto the end table and staggered on over to Ashlynn.
    She looked terrified out of her mind and started walking backwards to the front door.
    I was just about to reach out to her when Neil pushed me away and said, “Dude, you need to calm down.”
    With words like that I completely lost it and shoved Neil away. “Fuck off Neil. You need to stay out of this.”
    Neil managed to get a hold of me from behind and said, “It’s not what you think Jason. You need to calm down and I’ll explain all of it to you, okay? But dude, you seriously need to calm the fuck down. Look at Ashlynn. You’re scaring the hell out of her.”
    With a shrug Neil let go of me and I looked over in Ashlynn’s direction and tears were falling down her face. I wanted to wipe them away but it felt like she fucking ripped my heart of its chest and stomped all over it. I just couldn’t deal with the dad issues and then to top it all off with a cherry my girl walking in with my roommate. What the fuck was I supposed to think?
    So I walked over to her and as calmly as I could I bit out the words, “I shared something so personal with you and you just fucking ripped my heart out. I thought you were different Ashlynn but I was so wrong about you. So incredibly fucking wrong.”
    The second the words left my mouth I wanted to fall to my knees and apologize but I didn’t have time because she turned her back to me and swung the front door open and ran.
    I just stood there and was then shoved out of the way by Neil who didn’t even look back at me when he said, “We are going to have a long fucking talk when I get back.”
    By the time I walked over to