3 Weeks 'Til Forever
silence her and kissed her forehead.
For what seemed like a mini-eternity, once again he just held her, cradling her
head gently to his chest.
     
    The
rapid thudding of his heart surprised her. How could he hold her so calmly, yet
be bursting with such palpable anxiety.
     
    Silent
tears coursed down her cheeks and she started to speak.
     
    Redmond
pulled back, still holding her in the circle of his arms, seeking her eyes with
his own. His looked silenced her. She'd never seen such raw emotion on his
face.
     
    "I
want you to listen to me Janey and listen good. What I'm about to say to you
I've never said to another woman in my life.”
     
    "I
love you. I love you so fiercely that it frightens me. The one thing I know for
sure is that I can't live without you. So whatever it is you have to tell me,
just know, I'm not going anywhere. Somehow, some way, we'll get through
whatever it is together.”
     
    Janey's
swallowed past the knot in her throat, preparing to speak but Redmond continued
on, imploring her to let him finish first.
     
    "From
the moment I saw you, something moved inside of me. I don't know what it was –
to this day – I can't explain it. I tried to ignore it. When I couldn't do
that, I tried to understand it. But to be honest, I don't think I was equipped
with the emotional tools I needed to do that.”
     
    "Then,
I got angry.”
     
    "Remember
the night at the hotel when I went for a walk and basically shut you out?”
     
    "That
was the first time I admitted to myself that I was in love with you. I’d known
it from practically the day I met you, but that was the first time I admitted
it to myself.”
     
    “And
there you stood … in your beautiful dress, with your expensive heels looking
all elegant – ready to go to dinner at this fancy restaurant.”
     
    "I
realized then that I was out of my league. I knew that there was no way I could
give you the things that you were used to. Hell, I couldn’t even hold on to a
woman who wasn’t used to the things you’re used to.
     
    “All
I kept thinking was, ‘how in the hell are you going to hold on to her ?’”
     
    "For
the first time in my life, I was scared out of my wits... scared that I was
going to have to go through life without you because I also knew that there
would never be another you. That there would never be another woman who just
fit me like you did.”
     
    "Anger
and withdrawal have always been my fall-back ways of coping. And for a part of
the life I've lived, operating this way has literally saved my life on more
than one occasion. It and also allowed me to avoid getting too close to any
woman since I was married.”
     
    "But
I've found that these fall-back positions don't work with you.”
     
    "Every
time I've gotten angry with you or shut you out, I've gotten even angrier with
myself. The hurt and confusion in your eyes on those occasions have been like
the proverbial knife in my heart.”
     
    "And
I can't stay away from you, no matter how many times I've told myself that
you'd be better off without me; that you can do so much better than me; I just
haven't been able to stop finding a way to be near you.”
     
    "What
I've realized is that when you love someone – truly love them the way I love
you – there's no place for anger and withdrawal.”
     
    "I
find myself wanting to work it out with you. No matter how different we are,
there are so many things that are right between us.”
     
    “Remember
when I caught that lizard and you were so embarrassed about being such a big baby?
You said you’d never had a man come to your rescue before and it almost broke
my heart because while I realized that I can't give you a lot of things, I can
give you some of the most important . . .”
     
    “Love,
protection, security.”
     
    "What
kind of man wouldn't protect the woman he loves … no matter how trivial her
fears may seem?”
     
    “And
that's why I came here today. I'm asking you to trust that I'll always be here
for

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