it
out, Rachel. “I’ve never swallowed.”
“Oh.”
He stood and took my hands in his. “Now I feel bad.”
“Why?
You told me it was happening and I didn’t stop.” I paused. “It wasn’t bad ,”
I lied, “I just wasn’t ready, I suppose. I mean, maybe there is no way to get
ready for a burst of semen in your mouth.” I laughed aloud, lightening the
air.
“Best.
Girlfriend. Ever.”
I
turned to him. “Hey, Vince?”
“Yeah.”
“I
wanted to ask you about something. When we first met, you told me that you
weren’t a ‘dater.’”
“Yeah?”
“Well,
now you’re so different. You call me your girlfriend and you tell me you love
me… you want to tell everyone about us. I just wondered what had changed.” I
braced myself for his answer.
“You.”
“What
do you mean?”
“ You changed me. I like a lot of things, you know? I like music and I like
my job and I like my friends. But I had never felt love for anyone other than
Melora… and she totally fucked me over.”
Wait, who ?
“Who’s
Melora?”
*
“My
ex-girlfriend. We were together for a few years.”
“Define
‘a few.’”
“Five.”
Whoa.
“That’s
kind of a long time, Conti. Seems like you would have brought her up before
now.”
“Why?
I’m not with her anymore and I don’t love her or want to get back together, so
it seems unproductive to talk about it.”
I
supposed he was right. But I did want to talk about it.
“It’s
not unproductive. I want to know.” Did I?
“Well…
I met her when I was about 28, I guess. She was a singer in a band and I was
working at a small recording studio at that point. She came in to record a
demo and I ended up moving in with her a week later.”
Ouch. I really didn’t want to
know about this. I felt a stabbing sensation in my chest. Why was I having
this reaction? Did I think that he never had a girlfriend before?
“Oh.” What was I supposed to say?
“What?”
“Nothing.” Just kill me now. I couldn’t breathe. I needed to lie down. Instead,
I sat on the couch and clutched a throw pillow.
“Aw,
what’s the matter?” He chuckled. “Surely you knew that I’ve dated someone before.” He slid into the space next to me, moving close.
“I
guess I didn’t expect it to hurt.”
I
was an idiot.
“Come
here.” I placed my head to his chest and he cupped the back of my neck. “I
never felt for one day about Melora like I feel about you.”
Fucking Melora . Even her name was making my fists clench.
“Okay,”
I mumbled.
“Rachel,
listen. She means nothing . I just mentioned her because you asked me
why I didn’t date. I guess it was because she broke me a little and I never
wanted to get into all of that stuff again… until I met you. I fell in love
with you, so there wasn’t anything I could do.”
Ah.
I could breathe again.
“So,
what happened? You know, with her?”
“Like
why did we break up ?”
“Yeah.”
“She
got an abortion.” He said it so casually .
“What?”
“She
got pregnant, she didn’t tell me and then she got rid of it, also not
telling me.”
“Oh
my God. How did you find out?”
“My
friend John was dating this girl, Sarah, at the time. Sarah worked at the
clinic and saw Melora there. I guess she tried to talk her out of telling John
or me or whatever, but Sarah told him anyway. He called me and I confronted
her about it.”
He
let out a heavy sigh, but continued.
“She
didn’t deny it. She told me that she had plans to be fucking famous or
whatever and that a baby didn’t fit into that plan. She thought I would feel
the same way, so she never ‘bothered’ to tell me. I had to find out from my
fucking friend. After
out, Rachel. “I’ve never swallowed.”
“Oh.”
He stood and took my hands in his. “Now I feel bad.”
“Why?
You told me it was happening and I didn’t stop.” I paused. “It wasn’t bad ,”
I lied, “I just wasn’t ready, I suppose. I mean, maybe there is no way to get
ready for a burst of semen in your mouth.” I laughed aloud, lightening the
air.
“Best.
Girlfriend. Ever.”
I
turned to him. “Hey, Vince?”
“Yeah.”
“I
wanted to ask you about something. When we first met, you told me that you
weren’t a ‘dater.’”
“Yeah?”
“Well,
now you’re so different. You call me your girlfriend and you tell me you love
me… you want to tell everyone about us. I just wondered what had changed.” I
braced myself for his answer.
“You.”
“What
do you mean?”
“ You changed me. I like a lot of things, you know? I like music and I like
my job and I like my friends. But I had never felt love for anyone other than
Melora… and she totally fucked me over.”
Wait, who ?
“Who’s
Melora?”
*
“My
ex-girlfriend. We were together for a few years.”
“Define
‘a few.’”
“Five.”
Whoa.
“That’s
kind of a long time, Conti. Seems like you would have brought her up before
now.”
“Why?
I’m not with her anymore and I don’t love her or want to get back together, so
it seems unproductive to talk about it.”
I
supposed he was right. But I did want to talk about it.
“It’s
not unproductive. I want to know.” Did I?
“Well…
I met her when I was about 28, I guess. She was a singer in a band and I was
working at a small recording studio at that point. She came in to record a
demo and I ended up moving in with her a week later.”
Ouch. I really didn’t want to
know about this. I felt a stabbing sensation in my chest. Why was I having
this reaction? Did I think that he never had a girlfriend before?
“Oh.” What was I supposed to say?
“What?”
“Nothing.” Just kill me now. I couldn’t breathe. I needed to lie down. Instead,
I sat on the couch and clutched a throw pillow.
“Aw,
what’s the matter?” He chuckled. “Surely you knew that I’ve dated someone before.” He slid into the space next to me, moving close.
“I
guess I didn’t expect it to hurt.”
I
was an idiot.
“Come
here.” I placed my head to his chest and he cupped the back of my neck. “I
never felt for one day about Melora like I feel about you.”
Fucking Melora . Even her name was making my fists clench.
“Okay,”
I mumbled.
“Rachel,
listen. She means nothing . I just mentioned her because you asked me
why I didn’t date. I guess it was because she broke me a little and I never
wanted to get into all of that stuff again… until I met you. I fell in love
with you, so there wasn’t anything I could do.”
Ah.
I could breathe again.
“So,
what happened? You know, with her?”
“Like
why did we break up ?”
“Yeah.”
“She
got an abortion.” He said it so casually .
“What?”
“She
got pregnant, she didn’t tell me and then she got rid of it, also not
telling me.”
“Oh
my God. How did you find out?”
“My
friend John was dating this girl, Sarah, at the time. Sarah worked at the
clinic and saw Melora there. I guess she tried to talk her out of telling John
or me or whatever, but Sarah told him anyway. He called me and I confronted
her about it.”
He
let out a heavy sigh, but continued.
“She
didn’t deny it. She told me that she had plans to be fucking famous or
whatever and that a baby didn’t fit into that plan. She thought I would feel
the same way, so she never ‘bothered’ to tell me. I had to find out from my
fucking friend. After
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