I don’t think this Zen thing is for me. Trying to be ‘conscious’ of what I’m thinking and feeling all of the time sounds exhausting and, to be perfectly honest, extremely boring…unnatural, even.
I don’t see the point to all that effort for very little purpose other than to make a relationship last longer. As far as I can tell, all relationships fail, even the married ones. It’s simply a matter of time. That being said, I’m not sure if I favor ending relationships early or late. I guess it depends on how crazy you are about the girl and whether it’s you or she that wants to do the terminating. If you went many years into a relationship and you’re crazy about her and she does the breaking off, it’s going to hurt more than if you just knew each other a little while and you weren’t too into her to begin with.
Maybe I’m not understanding the whole Zen thing and should maybe give it a try. Being on the same page with someone you’re in a relationship with sounds good to me. I don’t think I’ve ever been on the same page with anyone I’ve ever dated, except maybe when we’re lying in bed after sex, we’re each a bit starry eyed and we both get the munchies together. But I don’t think that’s the kind of same page that she’s talking about.
“We’re all walking wounded, right?” Frances continues.
“Right,” I answer quickly, not really sure what she means.
“When we open our hearts to someone, all our baggage comes to the surface. If the other person doesn’t freak out with their own baggage also coming up, then they could really help that person to heal. As long as we don’t get all reactive when one person is going through something, then each person would be there for the other. I wish we were taught all this in school.”
“That and the Kama Sutra ,” I joke.
“You’ve read the Kama Sutra ?”
“No. I know what it is but I haven’t read it, cover to cover, no.”
“Do you know what it is?”
“It’s a sex manual…an old book all about sex positions. Right?”
“It’s an ancient Hindu text, maybe Sanskrit, which describes human love in very poetic terms. It does include sexual positions but it’s not really what one would call a manual or a how-to guide.”
“That saves me a trip to Wikipedia,” I instinctively joke but thank heavens, she lets it slide.
“We should go through it together. It’s pretty awesome.”
“I would like that.”
“How’s the cow?” Frances asks as I cut into my steak.
“Quit while you’re ahead, Frances. A lecture on vegetarianism and I’m dating cheerleaders.”
8. A Naked Person Can’t Tell Lies
When we finally get to our destination, somewhere north of San Francisco in beautiful San Rafael county, it’s dark. I quickly get to meet Frances’ sister, Doris and her husband, Chuck. I didn’t want to ask but I think Doris is a few years younger than Frances, although Frances is so young looking, that I can’t be sure. Her sister and brother-in-law seem like a very weird couple to me and, even though they’re married, they don’t look like they are at all in love with each other. Pretty much like most married couples, I guess.
Frances did tell me a little bit about them on the way here and I did make a note to myself never to end up like them. For starters, Doris, because of some high-paying executive job in high-end retail consulting work or something is always out of town. What kind of marriage can you be having if one of you is always traveling, right? He’s a techie and works mostly at home, on the internet. I guess they Skype and phone each other to check in and see how their marriage is going from time to time.
And they do phone sex.
Which I can totally understand, considering how they are seldom together but please, phone sex? I tried it once but I just couldn’t get into it. The girl I was dating lived across town and one night I called her for a booty call. Except my car was in the shop
I don’t see the point to all that effort for very little purpose other than to make a relationship last longer. As far as I can tell, all relationships fail, even the married ones. It’s simply a matter of time. That being said, I’m not sure if I favor ending relationships early or late. I guess it depends on how crazy you are about the girl and whether it’s you or she that wants to do the terminating. If you went many years into a relationship and you’re crazy about her and she does the breaking off, it’s going to hurt more than if you just knew each other a little while and you weren’t too into her to begin with.
Maybe I’m not understanding the whole Zen thing and should maybe give it a try. Being on the same page with someone you’re in a relationship with sounds good to me. I don’t think I’ve ever been on the same page with anyone I’ve ever dated, except maybe when we’re lying in bed after sex, we’re each a bit starry eyed and we both get the munchies together. But I don’t think that’s the kind of same page that she’s talking about.
“We’re all walking wounded, right?” Frances continues.
“Right,” I answer quickly, not really sure what she means.
“When we open our hearts to someone, all our baggage comes to the surface. If the other person doesn’t freak out with their own baggage also coming up, then they could really help that person to heal. As long as we don’t get all reactive when one person is going through something, then each person would be there for the other. I wish we were taught all this in school.”
“That and the Kama Sutra ,” I joke.
“You’ve read the Kama Sutra ?”
“No. I know what it is but I haven’t read it, cover to cover, no.”
“Do you know what it is?”
“It’s a sex manual…an old book all about sex positions. Right?”
“It’s an ancient Hindu text, maybe Sanskrit, which describes human love in very poetic terms. It does include sexual positions but it’s not really what one would call a manual or a how-to guide.”
“That saves me a trip to Wikipedia,” I instinctively joke but thank heavens, she lets it slide.
“We should go through it together. It’s pretty awesome.”
“I would like that.”
“How’s the cow?” Frances asks as I cut into my steak.
“Quit while you’re ahead, Frances. A lecture on vegetarianism and I’m dating cheerleaders.”
8. A Naked Person Can’t Tell Lies
When we finally get to our destination, somewhere north of San Francisco in beautiful San Rafael county, it’s dark. I quickly get to meet Frances’ sister, Doris and her husband, Chuck. I didn’t want to ask but I think Doris is a few years younger than Frances, although Frances is so young looking, that I can’t be sure. Her sister and brother-in-law seem like a very weird couple to me and, even though they’re married, they don’t look like they are at all in love with each other. Pretty much like most married couples, I guess.
Frances did tell me a little bit about them on the way here and I did make a note to myself never to end up like them. For starters, Doris, because of some high-paying executive job in high-end retail consulting work or something is always out of town. What kind of marriage can you be having if one of you is always traveling, right? He’s a techie and works mostly at home, on the internet. I guess they Skype and phone each other to check in and see how their marriage is going from time to time.
And they do phone sex.
Which I can totally understand, considering how they are seldom together but please, phone sex? I tried it once but I just couldn’t get into it. The girl I was dating lived across town and one night I called her for a booty call. Except my car was in the shop
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