when she gazed up at me.
I turned to look at Jeanie, afraid of what I might do if I stared too long at the girl in my arms. This could turn bad quickly.
“Are you ready?” I said to my niece who was now jumping on my couch.
“Yes, yes!”
Chuckling, I looked back down at Honor. “Ready, Miss. Honor?”
She seemed to have gotten control of herself, her face back to that mixture of humour and scepticism.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she muttered. “Just don’t step on my feet.”
I scoffed. “Clearly you’re misjudging my dancing capabilities.” Without warning, I twirled her, pulling her back into my arms as I led us around my small living room. She felt tense at first, but soon the tension left, and I could tell she was enjoying herself as she laughed and followed my steps to the music. I spun her a few more times, earning applause from our audience, and then dipped her, to which Jeanie squealed in delight.
Honor laughed, her head falling back to look at my niece as I held her there. I couldn’t help but take in the delicate arch of her neck, wishing things I knew I shouldn’t. Snapping myself out of it, I pulled her up, spinning her one last time before facing us toward Jeanie. We both bowed.
“Well? What do you think?” I asked the tittering monster watching us.
“That was amazing! Now dance with me,” she said, flying off the couch. We danced to another song as Honor watched from the couch. I swung her around a lot more, and by the time I was done, I was exhausted. How did Honor do this all the time?
“Now Uncle Grey needs a nap,” I said, falling back onto my chair.
“Nap?” Jeanie said, wrinkling her nose. “That’s no fun.”
I groaned. “When is your mother picking you up?”
“Uncle Grey!”
I chuckled. “Okay, okay. How about a movie?”
“Can it be Frozen?” she asked, jumping.
“Of course. What else would it be?”
“I should probably be going,” Honor said, standing up. I opened my mouth to say no, but Jeanie beat me to it – thankfully. It sounded a hell of a lot better coming from her than me. I didn’t know why I wasn’t ready for Honor to leave us, but I just wasn’t. I liked having her around.
“Please stay and watch it with us,” Jeanie pleaded.
“Okay,” Honor said with a smile. “Let me just go next door and get some popcorn for us.”
“Yes, popcorn!”
***
The darkness around me was a blessing after babysitting all day. I loved my niece to death, but she was exhausting. The three of us had watched a movie and then ordered pizza before Jilllian had shown up to pick her up. Honor had already been gone by then, which I was grateful for, because I could only imagine what my sister would have said had she seen her there.
Now, as I lie in my bed, thinking about the day, I couldn’t help but imagine Honor on the other side of the wall. Was she sleeping already? Or maybe she had gone out for the night. She was young and single, it was entirely possible she went out on dates. I hadn’t heard her leave though, not that I had been listening.
I thought back to last night and having Kelly here, and how different that felt than when Honor was around. I’d purposely invited Kelly to sleep over, because my mind had been all sorts of fucked up after having dinner with Honor. The level of comfort I’d felt with her was unfamiliar to me, and I’d wanted to prove that I could have the same with my actual girlfriend.
Except, it hadn’t been as comfortable. On the contrary, I’d wanted her to leave almost right away. Kelly was an amazing girl, but there was no denying that something was missing on my end. I just couldn’t figure out what it was. When it came to sex, we were fine, but even that hadn’t been as fulfilling as usual.
Man, I was getting all sorts of fucked up. This was exactly why I avoided relationships. Even when I wanted to try and make things work, it just didn’t. Turning onto my stomach, I stared at the wall in front of
I turned to look at Jeanie, afraid of what I might do if I stared too long at the girl in my arms. This could turn bad quickly.
“Are you ready?” I said to my niece who was now jumping on my couch.
“Yes, yes!”
Chuckling, I looked back down at Honor. “Ready, Miss. Honor?”
She seemed to have gotten control of herself, her face back to that mixture of humour and scepticism.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she muttered. “Just don’t step on my feet.”
I scoffed. “Clearly you’re misjudging my dancing capabilities.” Without warning, I twirled her, pulling her back into my arms as I led us around my small living room. She felt tense at first, but soon the tension left, and I could tell she was enjoying herself as she laughed and followed my steps to the music. I spun her a few more times, earning applause from our audience, and then dipped her, to which Jeanie squealed in delight.
Honor laughed, her head falling back to look at my niece as I held her there. I couldn’t help but take in the delicate arch of her neck, wishing things I knew I shouldn’t. Snapping myself out of it, I pulled her up, spinning her one last time before facing us toward Jeanie. We both bowed.
“Well? What do you think?” I asked the tittering monster watching us.
“That was amazing! Now dance with me,” she said, flying off the couch. We danced to another song as Honor watched from the couch. I swung her around a lot more, and by the time I was done, I was exhausted. How did Honor do this all the time?
“Now Uncle Grey needs a nap,” I said, falling back onto my chair.
“Nap?” Jeanie said, wrinkling her nose. “That’s no fun.”
I groaned. “When is your mother picking you up?”
“Uncle Grey!”
I chuckled. “Okay, okay. How about a movie?”
“Can it be Frozen?” she asked, jumping.
“Of course. What else would it be?”
“I should probably be going,” Honor said, standing up. I opened my mouth to say no, but Jeanie beat me to it – thankfully. It sounded a hell of a lot better coming from her than me. I didn’t know why I wasn’t ready for Honor to leave us, but I just wasn’t. I liked having her around.
“Please stay and watch it with us,” Jeanie pleaded.
“Okay,” Honor said with a smile. “Let me just go next door and get some popcorn for us.”
“Yes, popcorn!”
***
The darkness around me was a blessing after babysitting all day. I loved my niece to death, but she was exhausting. The three of us had watched a movie and then ordered pizza before Jilllian had shown up to pick her up. Honor had already been gone by then, which I was grateful for, because I could only imagine what my sister would have said had she seen her there.
Now, as I lie in my bed, thinking about the day, I couldn’t help but imagine Honor on the other side of the wall. Was she sleeping already? Or maybe she had gone out for the night. She was young and single, it was entirely possible she went out on dates. I hadn’t heard her leave though, not that I had been listening.
I thought back to last night and having Kelly here, and how different that felt than when Honor was around. I’d purposely invited Kelly to sleep over, because my mind had been all sorts of fucked up after having dinner with Honor. The level of comfort I’d felt with her was unfamiliar to me, and I’d wanted to prove that I could have the same with my actual girlfriend.
Except, it hadn’t been as comfortable. On the contrary, I’d wanted her to leave almost right away. Kelly was an amazing girl, but there was no denying that something was missing on my end. I just couldn’t figure out what it was. When it came to sex, we were fine, but even that hadn’t been as fulfilling as usual.
Man, I was getting all sorts of fucked up. This was exactly why I avoided relationships. Even when I wanted to try and make things work, it just didn’t. Turning onto my stomach, I stared at the wall in front of
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