precariously. I was three words away from being dumped in the creek.
Lee was doing up the buttons and not looking at me. Finally he picked up the baby and put her on his shoulder, making eye contact briefly. “You’re on clean-up duty. I’ll be in the lounge room with the baby.”
I closed my eyes in resignation as Lee stormed from the room. I may like dick, but I’m not a pussy.
I mentally crossed out the words and rewrote my slogan: Davo, you’re a dick and a pussy.
It seemed appropriate that I got to finish cleaning up the shit. I left the clothing to soak in the bucket, and found some cleaning products in the laundry while I was there. I wiped down every surface in the nursery, threw the dirty nappy and wipes in the rubbish bin outside, and found a blanket for Maxine. It was winter, after all.
I discovered Lee in the lounge room having a quiet conversation with Maxine. I stopped short of the doorway and listened in.
“…and don’t let anyone tell you different, okay? You can be whatever you want when you grow up. You can be a football player, or a stevedore, or a ballerina, or a doctor. Whatever you want. And don’t let Davo warn you off pink. He’s just a big, bad bag-o-wind. Pink is a beautiful color. Cerise is my favorite shade of pink—entirely because I love saying that word. Cerise. Isn’t that lovely? But that color clashes dreadfully with my hair, so I’m stuck with the reds, like auburn, chestnut, burgundy, and maroon. But I found a new color recently. I stopped and admired this shirt, and the lady said its color was rosewood.”
I made a mental note to check out that color.
“And I have a feeling that your big Uncle Dave has other problems too. Now don’t go thinking bad things about him, because that’s what I think someone did to him once upon a time. He’s hurting, that man. I know he is. But he’s as nice as nice can be. You should’ve seen him the first night I met him. Now I was wearing a dress, so he had no sexual interest in me whatsoever, but he was polite and gentlemanly. He made sure my wine was topped up and every time one of those stupid boys turned him down, he came back to me to check I was okay. That’s when I knew it. He’s a true-core man. A bit rough around the edges, but deep down, he’s solid gold. Gave me a stiffy under my skirts, he did. Right there in that bar. Thank God for layered dresses, Maxine. You’ll learn that—well, probably you won’t, because you won’t need to be hiding any sort of erection problem, but… you know. And I shouldn’t be having this sort of conversation with a baby.”
I grinned widely in the darkness outside the lounge room door. I wasn’t sure if that sort of conversation was suitable for anyone.
“But I want you to remember, Maxine, your Uncle Dave loves you. Now you may be wondering how I know this, because the man seems completely against women. He’s not a misogynist. I know that’s a big word for you to remember, so I’ll tell you it this way—it’s not that he doesn’t like girls, it’s just that someone once made him feel like less than a man. And he’s taken that, and skewed it, and reworked it more than a ball of Play-doh. So now he’s confused as to what he wants. He likes you. Never think that he doesn’t think you’re worthy, purely because you’re a girl. The fact that he babysat you? I reckon that means that man is full in love with you, sweetheart. And over that, I’m as jealous as all hell.”
I must’ve made some sort of sound, because Lee stopped talking abruptly. There was a moment’s silence before he whispered, “And I also think that he’s listening outside that door, which means I’ve made a fool of myself.”
Sheepishly I showed myself. “No, you didn’t,” I lied. “I only caught the tail end of the conversation.”
Lee was sitting on the sofa with Maxine propped up in his hands so he could speak to her. The baby was watching him with rapt fascination and a slightly wobbly
Lee was doing up the buttons and not looking at me. Finally he picked up the baby and put her on his shoulder, making eye contact briefly. “You’re on clean-up duty. I’ll be in the lounge room with the baby.”
I closed my eyes in resignation as Lee stormed from the room. I may like dick, but I’m not a pussy.
I mentally crossed out the words and rewrote my slogan: Davo, you’re a dick and a pussy.
It seemed appropriate that I got to finish cleaning up the shit. I left the clothing to soak in the bucket, and found some cleaning products in the laundry while I was there. I wiped down every surface in the nursery, threw the dirty nappy and wipes in the rubbish bin outside, and found a blanket for Maxine. It was winter, after all.
I discovered Lee in the lounge room having a quiet conversation with Maxine. I stopped short of the doorway and listened in.
“…and don’t let anyone tell you different, okay? You can be whatever you want when you grow up. You can be a football player, or a stevedore, or a ballerina, or a doctor. Whatever you want. And don’t let Davo warn you off pink. He’s just a big, bad bag-o-wind. Pink is a beautiful color. Cerise is my favorite shade of pink—entirely because I love saying that word. Cerise. Isn’t that lovely? But that color clashes dreadfully with my hair, so I’m stuck with the reds, like auburn, chestnut, burgundy, and maroon. But I found a new color recently. I stopped and admired this shirt, and the lady said its color was rosewood.”
I made a mental note to check out that color.
“And I have a feeling that your big Uncle Dave has other problems too. Now don’t go thinking bad things about him, because that’s what I think someone did to him once upon a time. He’s hurting, that man. I know he is. But he’s as nice as nice can be. You should’ve seen him the first night I met him. Now I was wearing a dress, so he had no sexual interest in me whatsoever, but he was polite and gentlemanly. He made sure my wine was topped up and every time one of those stupid boys turned him down, he came back to me to check I was okay. That’s when I knew it. He’s a true-core man. A bit rough around the edges, but deep down, he’s solid gold. Gave me a stiffy under my skirts, he did. Right there in that bar. Thank God for layered dresses, Maxine. You’ll learn that—well, probably you won’t, because you won’t need to be hiding any sort of erection problem, but… you know. And I shouldn’t be having this sort of conversation with a baby.”
I grinned widely in the darkness outside the lounge room door. I wasn’t sure if that sort of conversation was suitable for anyone.
“But I want you to remember, Maxine, your Uncle Dave loves you. Now you may be wondering how I know this, because the man seems completely against women. He’s not a misogynist. I know that’s a big word for you to remember, so I’ll tell you it this way—it’s not that he doesn’t like girls, it’s just that someone once made him feel like less than a man. And he’s taken that, and skewed it, and reworked it more than a ball of Play-doh. So now he’s confused as to what he wants. He likes you. Never think that he doesn’t think you’re worthy, purely because you’re a girl. The fact that he babysat you? I reckon that means that man is full in love with you, sweetheart. And over that, I’m as jealous as all hell.”
I must’ve made some sort of sound, because Lee stopped talking abruptly. There was a moment’s silence before he whispered, “And I also think that he’s listening outside that door, which means I’ve made a fool of myself.”
Sheepishly I showed myself. “No, you didn’t,” I lied. “I only caught the tail end of the conversation.”
Lee was sitting on the sofa with Maxine propped up in his hands so he could speak to her. The baby was watching him with rapt fascination and a slightly wobbly
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