that a girl who hasn’t dated in two (and a half) long years shouldn’t be trying on twenty-thousand-dollar engagement rings. But it wasn’t my favourite conversation.
The Tiffany’s elf looked disturbed and glided away, with Laura quickly taking his place.
“So are you ready to be my very own personal shopper?”
“Absolutely. Bring on the slut stores!” I laughed and patted her on the shoulder.
“You need to shut the hell up. But…we will be visiting the slut stores.”
And off we went, to find my friend something sexy with a dash of smut.
***
“I am NOT comfortable with this. It shows all the curves of my ass!”
I rolled my eyes. “When will you learn that the curves of your ass drive all the men wild? And it’s pink. And it’s a halter dress. Hot arms, hot shoulders, hot ass, what’s the problem?”
Laura was on dress number twenty at the seventh store we’d visited. I was tired, but I still understood her need for the perfect look.
“I’m scared that it shows too much!”
“Okay, let’s just clarify your goals a bit. On a scale of ‘one to slut,’ how slutty do you really wanna look?”
“Umm....six?”
“Only a six?” I shook my head. “Well now I have a whole new vision in mind. Let’s hit up the Guess Store next.” Laura changed back into her navy blue suit as I considered my secret plot. The Guess Store was at the opposite end of the mall, so as we made our way down there I would bring up the Internet guy.
We walked through the mall inhaling the aroma of freshly baked cinnamon buns (that our diets wouldn’t ever let us eat). The calming smell made it feel like the perfect time to talk.
“So Laura, I need some advice...about a guy.”
“OH MY GOSH YOU MET A GUY?” Everyone around us turned to have a look. None of those looks were from sexy men who wanted a piece of me. Mostly just from grannies, or from teenage boys with oily T-zones.
“First of all quiet down,” I whispered. “And secondly, it’s a little more tricky than that.”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry! Tell me everything.”
We now walked along at a slower pace, while my heart on the other hand quickened its beat.
“Well, I came across him a month ago, and we’ve been...corresponding regularly. For basically the last two weeks.”
“What do you mean by ‘corresponding’?”
“Well you know...” I took a quick breath. “E-mail.”
Laura snapped her head back, in a “possessed by a demon” kind of way. “Wait a minute. How did you meet him? Like online dating? Who is he anyway? What do you really know? And also...what the hell are you doing?”
“ALL valid questions. He’s this guy I met through my blog. He’s a writer too, actually a screenwriter. So you know, that’s a major plus point.” My voice grew quicker as I tried to justify it all. “He’s also really clever. Oh, and really hot. I know the hot part is true because we’re friends now on Facebook. Plus he has lots of Facebook friends, who all seem fine with his title of ‘screenwriter.’ Which means he’s totally telling the truth!” I looked at her and smiled.
Please don’t think I’m a psycho!
“Okay...but what comes next after flirting? Are you guys gonna date? Like don’t you have to MEET him to date? And where does he even live?”
I squinted my eyes for this one: “Right now he’s living far away. In Barcelona.”
A few seconds passed before she finally spoke. “Okay...I don’t really know what to say to that.”
“Trust me neither do I. Like this hot writer guy just fell into my life. And it’s not like we’re dating of course. But it’s every day, this constant contact.”
“Right…”
“And I ask myself...why? Especially now when I can see just how vibrant his life really is. Like trust me, his friends and I mean female friends are smokin’. Or who even knows if they’re only friends? Aren’t Europeans supposed to be slutty? And if the pictures are any clue, he goes to the beaches all the
The Tiffany’s elf looked disturbed and glided away, with Laura quickly taking his place.
“So are you ready to be my very own personal shopper?”
“Absolutely. Bring on the slut stores!” I laughed and patted her on the shoulder.
“You need to shut the hell up. But…we will be visiting the slut stores.”
And off we went, to find my friend something sexy with a dash of smut.
***
“I am NOT comfortable with this. It shows all the curves of my ass!”
I rolled my eyes. “When will you learn that the curves of your ass drive all the men wild? And it’s pink. And it’s a halter dress. Hot arms, hot shoulders, hot ass, what’s the problem?”
Laura was on dress number twenty at the seventh store we’d visited. I was tired, but I still understood her need for the perfect look.
“I’m scared that it shows too much!”
“Okay, let’s just clarify your goals a bit. On a scale of ‘one to slut,’ how slutty do you really wanna look?”
“Umm....six?”
“Only a six?” I shook my head. “Well now I have a whole new vision in mind. Let’s hit up the Guess Store next.” Laura changed back into her navy blue suit as I considered my secret plot. The Guess Store was at the opposite end of the mall, so as we made our way down there I would bring up the Internet guy.
We walked through the mall inhaling the aroma of freshly baked cinnamon buns (that our diets wouldn’t ever let us eat). The calming smell made it feel like the perfect time to talk.
“So Laura, I need some advice...about a guy.”
“OH MY GOSH YOU MET A GUY?” Everyone around us turned to have a look. None of those looks were from sexy men who wanted a piece of me. Mostly just from grannies, or from teenage boys with oily T-zones.
“First of all quiet down,” I whispered. “And secondly, it’s a little more tricky than that.”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry! Tell me everything.”
We now walked along at a slower pace, while my heart on the other hand quickened its beat.
“Well, I came across him a month ago, and we’ve been...corresponding regularly. For basically the last two weeks.”
“What do you mean by ‘corresponding’?”
“Well you know...” I took a quick breath. “E-mail.”
Laura snapped her head back, in a “possessed by a demon” kind of way. “Wait a minute. How did you meet him? Like online dating? Who is he anyway? What do you really know? And also...what the hell are you doing?”
“ALL valid questions. He’s this guy I met through my blog. He’s a writer too, actually a screenwriter. So you know, that’s a major plus point.” My voice grew quicker as I tried to justify it all. “He’s also really clever. Oh, and really hot. I know the hot part is true because we’re friends now on Facebook. Plus he has lots of Facebook friends, who all seem fine with his title of ‘screenwriter.’ Which means he’s totally telling the truth!” I looked at her and smiled.
Please don’t think I’m a psycho!
“Okay...but what comes next after flirting? Are you guys gonna date? Like don’t you have to MEET him to date? And where does he even live?”
I squinted my eyes for this one: “Right now he’s living far away. In Barcelona.”
A few seconds passed before she finally spoke. “Okay...I don’t really know what to say to that.”
“Trust me neither do I. Like this hot writer guy just fell into my life. And it’s not like we’re dating of course. But it’s every day, this constant contact.”
“Right…”
“And I ask myself...why? Especially now when I can see just how vibrant his life really is. Like trust me, his friends and I mean female friends are smokin’. Or who even knows if they’re only friends? Aren’t Europeans supposed to be slutty? And if the pictures are any clue, he goes to the beaches all the
Similar Books
