is a great relief, because if the demons had won, they would have transgressed into our territory.’
Kacha had acquired Sanjeevani! The war had stopped! To me all this was utterly insignificant. I was crying out desperately to myself, ‘My Alaka, where is she? Where is the only sister of the brother hankering for affection?’
[1] The nymphs in Indra’s heaven.
[2] Sanjeevani was a hymn which, when recited, had the power to bring the dead back to life.
[3] A festival at which a lady, normally a princess, chooses a husband from the assembled suitors.
[4] Rosary made of the seeds of the (L.) Elaeocarpus Ganitrus tree, having special religious significance for the Hindus.
DEVAYANI
O utside, it is spring. There is a gentle breeze scented with fragrance, but I am perspiring in my bed. Outside, the moon of the fourteenth night looks like a huge white lotus in full bloom. But my heart is blighted like the withered delicate parijat flower. Outside, the cuckoo is singing in sweet wild notes. But in my heart, I can only hear the stifled notes of the broken reed.
Can it be true that what lingers in the mind comes back in dreams? Perhaps, perhaps not.
What a terrible dream it was! I was trembling all over when I woke up with fright.
Maybe I am angry with Kacha. Why the doubt? I am angry. I am very angry. When he rejected my love and sought to go away I pronounced the curse: ‘The power which you have acquired you will never be able to use.’ But is that any reason why in the dream I should —
For many days after Kacha had left, I was still greatly distressed and often cried bitterly and left off eating. I urged Father over and over again, ‘It does not matter if the power of Sanjeevani is now available to someone else also. You should do penance again to please Lord Shiva and get another blessing. And bring back to me that heartless, wily and ungrateful Kacha!’
I wished to punish Kacha so that he would remember it all his life. Even today I want to! He went away, disregarding my love and breaking my heart. He pronounced a cruel curse on me that no Brahmin’s son would accept my hand in marriage!
How vividly I remember every detail of the dream:
Kacha was standing shackled in the court. His eyes flashed like lightning. King Vrishaparva, the demon king, said to me, ‘The Lord Preceptor Maharishi Shukra, your father, is undergoing penance for our uplift. Before he started on it, he ordered me to see that you are always happy. We all know that Kacha has hurt you deeply. Therefore, we have brought him here from the kingdom of the gods. He is your prisoner. You pronounce the punishment and it will be instantly carried out.’
What punishment can a true lover award her love, even if he has deceived her? At most, to make him captive in her arms for all time. I did not even order that. I pleaded with the heartless one, ‘Kiss me once ... only once!’ and added, ‘You will be free from bondage if you kiss me.’
Even in the face of death, he was arrogant. He said, ‘Devayani, they cremated me and put my powdered bones into Maharishi Shukra’s wine. He drank it and I thereby got access to his heart. It was there that I learnt the Sanjeevani hymn which none else knows. But it was also because of that I am now your brother. You and I are the same flesh and blood.’
I lost my temper. I said, ‘You seem to think that Devayani is a silly woman. It needs no great intelligence to know that children grow on the flesh and blood of the mother, not of the father. I am no sister to you and you are no brother to me. I am your lover. I beg nothing more of you. Kiss me only once and I shall issue orders to release you thereon.’
King Vrishaparva said, ‘Devayani, what shall be the punishment?’
Kacha whose ashes Father had swallowed with his wine and for whose revival, even at the price of losing Sanjeevani, I had begged Father with folded hands — such a Kacha to be punished! But how could I —?
I said to King
Kacha had acquired Sanjeevani! The war had stopped! To me all this was utterly insignificant. I was crying out desperately to myself, ‘My Alaka, where is she? Where is the only sister of the brother hankering for affection?’
[1] The nymphs in Indra’s heaven.
[2] Sanjeevani was a hymn which, when recited, had the power to bring the dead back to life.
[3] A festival at which a lady, normally a princess, chooses a husband from the assembled suitors.
[4] Rosary made of the seeds of the (L.) Elaeocarpus Ganitrus tree, having special religious significance for the Hindus.
DEVAYANI
O utside, it is spring. There is a gentle breeze scented with fragrance, but I am perspiring in my bed. Outside, the moon of the fourteenth night looks like a huge white lotus in full bloom. But my heart is blighted like the withered delicate parijat flower. Outside, the cuckoo is singing in sweet wild notes. But in my heart, I can only hear the stifled notes of the broken reed.
Can it be true that what lingers in the mind comes back in dreams? Perhaps, perhaps not.
What a terrible dream it was! I was trembling all over when I woke up with fright.
Maybe I am angry with Kacha. Why the doubt? I am angry. I am very angry. When he rejected my love and sought to go away I pronounced the curse: ‘The power which you have acquired you will never be able to use.’ But is that any reason why in the dream I should —
For many days after Kacha had left, I was still greatly distressed and often cried bitterly and left off eating. I urged Father over and over again, ‘It does not matter if the power of Sanjeevani is now available to someone else also. You should do penance again to please Lord Shiva and get another blessing. And bring back to me that heartless, wily and ungrateful Kacha!’
I wished to punish Kacha so that he would remember it all his life. Even today I want to! He went away, disregarding my love and breaking my heart. He pronounced a cruel curse on me that no Brahmin’s son would accept my hand in marriage!
How vividly I remember every detail of the dream:
Kacha was standing shackled in the court. His eyes flashed like lightning. King Vrishaparva, the demon king, said to me, ‘The Lord Preceptor Maharishi Shukra, your father, is undergoing penance for our uplift. Before he started on it, he ordered me to see that you are always happy. We all know that Kacha has hurt you deeply. Therefore, we have brought him here from the kingdom of the gods. He is your prisoner. You pronounce the punishment and it will be instantly carried out.’
What punishment can a true lover award her love, even if he has deceived her? At most, to make him captive in her arms for all time. I did not even order that. I pleaded with the heartless one, ‘Kiss me once ... only once!’ and added, ‘You will be free from bondage if you kiss me.’
Even in the face of death, he was arrogant. He said, ‘Devayani, they cremated me and put my powdered bones into Maharishi Shukra’s wine. He drank it and I thereby got access to his heart. It was there that I learnt the Sanjeevani hymn which none else knows. But it was also because of that I am now your brother. You and I are the same flesh and blood.’
I lost my temper. I said, ‘You seem to think that Devayani is a silly woman. It needs no great intelligence to know that children grow on the flesh and blood of the mother, not of the father. I am no sister to you and you are no brother to me. I am your lover. I beg nothing more of you. Kiss me only once and I shall issue orders to release you thereon.’
King Vrishaparva said, ‘Devayani, what shall be the punishment?’
Kacha whose ashes Father had swallowed with his wine and for whose revival, even at the price of losing Sanjeevani, I had begged Father with folded hands — such a Kacha to be punished! But how could I —?
I said to King
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