impossible.
“You agreed to give me a chance,” he says.
“And I did!” I shout. His bodyguards are going to get an earful. “You let me think you were rescuing me, when you were the one who put me in danger!”
“Daniel broke the rules, Lily. If the Bratva had not come for him that night, they would have come some other time, and maybe I would not have been there in time.”
“That’s bullshit,” I snap. “You wanted something and you took it.”
“ Da .” He takes a step toward me as I launch myself at him.
I have no idea what I intend, but the look in his eyes scares me. He looks hard, resolved, and pissed as hell. This is not my fault. His arms close around me, and he lifts me until I have my back to the wall. His big body stands between me and the rest of the world, and I’m so fucking weak. For just a moment, I’m ready to forget. To hang onto him and let go of everything else.
“I have fixed your problem with the Banda,” he tells me, his voice silky with menace. “Liam will not bother you again. His people will leave you alone.”
“Great,” I mutter. I’m still trying to get my traitorous hormones under control. They think an angry fuck would be the perfect punctuation to our argument. No. This is more than a fight.
Xander stares down at me fiercely. “Tell me how to fix this.”
“I don’t know.” The wall is holding me up now. I will not fall into Xander’s arms. I will handle this on my own. “I don’t know how to let it go. You want me to take all the anger, all the ugly thoughts, and make them go away? I. Don’t. Know. How.”
Could I do it? Could I mentally shove all the anger, the ugly thoughts in a chest in my head, lock it, toss the key, and douse the fucking thing in gasoline? Flick a mental Bic and say do svidaniia to the unpleasant parts of our past? If Xander needs that, he should have married a saint instead of me.
“We are married now. We are partners.”
“You promised I could walk if I didn’t want to stay married to you.”
He looks pained. “ Da . If that is what you want.”
I stare at him and then he grabs me, pulling me into his body for a kiss that somehow manages to both hard and impossibly gentle at the same time. I need to hate his kiss. I need to hate him . So much need. My body is making promises my head rejects because Xander is so impossibly wrong. He kisses me fiercely, not letting up or easing off. His big hand wraps around my hair, while his other hand grips my butt, lifting me against him until I have no doubt at all that my man wants me. Xander is hard inside and out, and I can’t stop wanting him.
There is a sound behind us. Xander lifts his head.
“If you do not back the fuck off now, I will kill you.”
I don’t think he’s joking either.
Jack shoves his head out the door, flicks a glance over us, and then studiously returns his gaze to a palm tree. “There was a 9-1-1 call from the Petrov place in Miami twenty minutes ago.” He pauses, but Xander and I are already moving. He’s so impossibly wrong, and yet he knows exactly the right thing to say. He knows what I need.
“I will take you to him now,” he says. “We will be there in time.”
8
THREE WEEKS LATER
LILY
I don’t know whether I should cry—or just remember. My dad slipped away from me two days after Xander flies me home. Logically, I know we are all born dying. That the end goal is to die slowly and make it to 109 and tie Methuselah for longevity. And even if we make it to triple digits, it won’t seem like enough time, not if we’ve been really living. There is always stuff that’s not done or left unsaid and I had no idea that the final weeks, hours, and days could speed up and disappear so quickly. Still, wherever he is now, I know he’s happier. Losing his life one memory at a time—that was never the way he’d have wanted to go. My dad was a fighter and a protector. He was strong right up until when he couldn’t be.
I saw Xander at the
“You agreed to give me a chance,” he says.
“And I did!” I shout. His bodyguards are going to get an earful. “You let me think you were rescuing me, when you were the one who put me in danger!”
“Daniel broke the rules, Lily. If the Bratva had not come for him that night, they would have come some other time, and maybe I would not have been there in time.”
“That’s bullshit,” I snap. “You wanted something and you took it.”
“ Da .” He takes a step toward me as I launch myself at him.
I have no idea what I intend, but the look in his eyes scares me. He looks hard, resolved, and pissed as hell. This is not my fault. His arms close around me, and he lifts me until I have my back to the wall. His big body stands between me and the rest of the world, and I’m so fucking weak. For just a moment, I’m ready to forget. To hang onto him and let go of everything else.
“I have fixed your problem with the Banda,” he tells me, his voice silky with menace. “Liam will not bother you again. His people will leave you alone.”
“Great,” I mutter. I’m still trying to get my traitorous hormones under control. They think an angry fuck would be the perfect punctuation to our argument. No. This is more than a fight.
Xander stares down at me fiercely. “Tell me how to fix this.”
“I don’t know.” The wall is holding me up now. I will not fall into Xander’s arms. I will handle this on my own. “I don’t know how to let it go. You want me to take all the anger, all the ugly thoughts, and make them go away? I. Don’t. Know. How.”
Could I do it? Could I mentally shove all the anger, the ugly thoughts in a chest in my head, lock it, toss the key, and douse the fucking thing in gasoline? Flick a mental Bic and say do svidaniia to the unpleasant parts of our past? If Xander needs that, he should have married a saint instead of me.
“We are married now. We are partners.”
“You promised I could walk if I didn’t want to stay married to you.”
He looks pained. “ Da . If that is what you want.”
I stare at him and then he grabs me, pulling me into his body for a kiss that somehow manages to both hard and impossibly gentle at the same time. I need to hate his kiss. I need to hate him . So much need. My body is making promises my head rejects because Xander is so impossibly wrong. He kisses me fiercely, not letting up or easing off. His big hand wraps around my hair, while his other hand grips my butt, lifting me against him until I have no doubt at all that my man wants me. Xander is hard inside and out, and I can’t stop wanting him.
There is a sound behind us. Xander lifts his head.
“If you do not back the fuck off now, I will kill you.”
I don’t think he’s joking either.
Jack shoves his head out the door, flicks a glance over us, and then studiously returns his gaze to a palm tree. “There was a 9-1-1 call from the Petrov place in Miami twenty minutes ago.” He pauses, but Xander and I are already moving. He’s so impossibly wrong, and yet he knows exactly the right thing to say. He knows what I need.
“I will take you to him now,” he says. “We will be there in time.”
8
THREE WEEKS LATER
LILY
I don’t know whether I should cry—or just remember. My dad slipped away from me two days after Xander flies me home. Logically, I know we are all born dying. That the end goal is to die slowly and make it to 109 and tie Methuselah for longevity. And even if we make it to triple digits, it won’t seem like enough time, not if we’ve been really living. There is always stuff that’s not done or left unsaid and I had no idea that the final weeks, hours, and days could speed up and disappear so quickly. Still, wherever he is now, I know he’s happier. Losing his life one memory at a time—that was never the way he’d have wanted to go. My dad was a fighter and a protector. He was strong right up until when he couldn’t be.
I saw Xander at the
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