through the speaker accompanied by generous amounts of static.
“Yes. Who’s this?”
“Jeremy Holt.”
“Who?”
“Uh… you poured six cups of coffee on me today. Really hot coffee. Not sure if you remember?”
“Oh! I’m… I’m really sorry about that… I didn’t mean…”
“Can I come up?”
“Uh… I suppose so. Just a second.”
I pressed the green button and heard the buzz through the speaker, followed by the sound of the door opening and footsteps fading away before the audio feed from downstairs cut off. What was he doing here? He didn’t sound like he was coming to continue the berating that Rod Stevens had started, so what then?
A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and I tentatively opened it, still unsure about what exactly I was going to be facing. Of all the possibilities I wasn’t expecting to be greeted by such a big smile, given what had happened.
“Hello?” I said.
“Hi Beatrice, can I come in?”
“How did you know where I live?”
“The Colonel is under the impression that I’m here to come after you for the cost of a new suit.”
“The Colonel?”
“Oh… uh… Rod Stevens. Don’t tell me you haven’t pictured him in a safari hat and thought ‘Yep, Rod Stevens in the library with a candlestick’? That moustache is ridiculous.”
I hadn’t played Clue since I was ten years old and hadn’t really liked it that much. I had to admit the resemblance to Colonel Mustard, from what I could recall, though I had never made the connection myself.
“Oh, yeah it is. So you’re not here for a new suit then?”
“Technically no, I’m here to thank you.”
“What do you mean? I poured hot coffee right into your lap.”
Jeremy waved his hand dismissively, “I was actually looking for a good excuse to cut the meeting short. You gave a better reason than I could have made up on the spot, and I ended up looking a lot less crazy than if I had poured the coffee in my own lap.”
Despite my predicament, and the person I was talking to, I couldn’t stop the corner of my mouth rising in a smirk. Only for a moment though.
“Well, glad I could be of service I guess. It didn’t work out so well for me though. So, thanks accepted, but if you don’t mind I’ve got a lot of things to think about because I’m pretty much screwed now.”
“Ah yes, that. Listen, that’s bullshit. You can’t be fired for falling victim to a health and safety issue, I saw that bunch of cables you tripped over. The five thousand dollar suit should be the only casualty of this whole situation. Can I come in? I’ll tell you exactly what you can do about that.”
“No. I don’t need your help,” I said.
“I thought you said you were pretty much screwed?”
“Whether I am or not, it’s got nothing to do with you,” I said, beginning to get annoyed with his very presence. “I don’t need you charging in like some kind of freakin’ white knight throwing money at problems to make them go away. You’ll just make it worse.”
“Throw money? Who said anything about throwing money? And how could I make it worse?”
I wondered if he thought mentioning that his suit cost five thousand dollars was subtle. So I’d ruined a piece of clothing that cost an eerily similar amount to my total net worth, that didn’t mean I was helpless.
At my side my fist bunched up as I felt my anger growing. For the past few hours I’d been blaming myself for what happened but I never would have been in this situation if they had just made their own damn coffee or just got the receptionist, whose job it actually was, to serve it.
“You people, you always find a way.”
“What do you mean ‘you people’?”
“Never mind. Look, I’m going to get through this myself, OK?”
“Wait. Wait, calm down. Don’t punch me, I can only take so much physical abuse in one day.”
I looked down at my hand and forced it to relax but
“Yes. Who’s this?”
“Jeremy Holt.”
“Who?”
“Uh… you poured six cups of coffee on me today. Really hot coffee. Not sure if you remember?”
“Oh! I’m… I’m really sorry about that… I didn’t mean…”
“Can I come up?”
“Uh… I suppose so. Just a second.”
I pressed the green button and heard the buzz through the speaker, followed by the sound of the door opening and footsteps fading away before the audio feed from downstairs cut off. What was he doing here? He didn’t sound like he was coming to continue the berating that Rod Stevens had started, so what then?
A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and I tentatively opened it, still unsure about what exactly I was going to be facing. Of all the possibilities I wasn’t expecting to be greeted by such a big smile, given what had happened.
“Hello?” I said.
“Hi Beatrice, can I come in?”
“How did you know where I live?”
“The Colonel is under the impression that I’m here to come after you for the cost of a new suit.”
“The Colonel?”
“Oh… uh… Rod Stevens. Don’t tell me you haven’t pictured him in a safari hat and thought ‘Yep, Rod Stevens in the library with a candlestick’? That moustache is ridiculous.”
I hadn’t played Clue since I was ten years old and hadn’t really liked it that much. I had to admit the resemblance to Colonel Mustard, from what I could recall, though I had never made the connection myself.
“Oh, yeah it is. So you’re not here for a new suit then?”
“Technically no, I’m here to thank you.”
“What do you mean? I poured hot coffee right into your lap.”
Jeremy waved his hand dismissively, “I was actually looking for a good excuse to cut the meeting short. You gave a better reason than I could have made up on the spot, and I ended up looking a lot less crazy than if I had poured the coffee in my own lap.”
Despite my predicament, and the person I was talking to, I couldn’t stop the corner of my mouth rising in a smirk. Only for a moment though.
“Well, glad I could be of service I guess. It didn’t work out so well for me though. So, thanks accepted, but if you don’t mind I’ve got a lot of things to think about because I’m pretty much screwed now.”
“Ah yes, that. Listen, that’s bullshit. You can’t be fired for falling victim to a health and safety issue, I saw that bunch of cables you tripped over. The five thousand dollar suit should be the only casualty of this whole situation. Can I come in? I’ll tell you exactly what you can do about that.”
“No. I don’t need your help,” I said.
“I thought you said you were pretty much screwed?”
“Whether I am or not, it’s got nothing to do with you,” I said, beginning to get annoyed with his very presence. “I don’t need you charging in like some kind of freakin’ white knight throwing money at problems to make them go away. You’ll just make it worse.”
“Throw money? Who said anything about throwing money? And how could I make it worse?”
I wondered if he thought mentioning that his suit cost five thousand dollars was subtle. So I’d ruined a piece of clothing that cost an eerily similar amount to my total net worth, that didn’t mean I was helpless.
At my side my fist bunched up as I felt my anger growing. For the past few hours I’d been blaming myself for what happened but I never would have been in this situation if they had just made their own damn coffee or just got the receptionist, whose job it actually was, to serve it.
“You people, you always find a way.”
“What do you mean ‘you people’?”
“Never mind. Look, I’m going to get through this myself, OK?”
“Wait. Wait, calm down. Don’t punch me, I can only take so much physical abuse in one day.”
I looked down at my hand and forced it to relax but
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