choked back the suffocating, vile thoughts because sheâd been about to compare her friendship with Dane, the only true thing she had in this world, to her relationship with Thomas, a man who had known her every thought, fantasy and deepest longing, and used them to manipulate her and make it so easy for her to fall into his lap with no resistance from her whatsoever. Never would she defile and disrespect Dane in that manner. He deserved so much better than the depraved, broken monster sheâd become, still was, to guard his back. She just prayed her replacement would take that responsibility to heart and recognize how truly great a man Dane Elliot was and that they, like her, would be willing to lay down their life for him.
âHow long?â Dane asked, momentarily confusing her because sheâd been so caught up in her own thoughts.
She recovered quickly and glanced nervously at him, hoping he didnât read too much into the length of her request. Then she shrugged as if she hadnât put that much thought into it at all. âA month. Maybe six weeks. Provided yâall can do without me that long. Things are quiet right now but we all knows how that goes,â she said with a grin. âI donât really have a plan. I just want to go where the wind takes me and enjoy the downtime.â
Dane studied her a long time as if determining the veracity of her statement. Just about the time her iron discipline was about to desert her and she started to squirm under his scrutiny, he once again struck her speechless.
âYou managed to hide it well, Lizzie. Even from me . . . until recently,â he said in a painful tone that sounded almost hurt. As if the thought of her holding out on him had never once crossed his mind. âBut they hurt you and not just physically though those sons of bitches inflicted plenty of damage. They damn near killed you. Far too close for my peace of mind. I still canât forget that moment, Lizzie. When I thought weâd been too late. Goddamn it!â
His voice was thick with emotion, features blackening with rage and his eyes went as dark as obsidian, glittering with menace and so much pain and regret that it took her breath away.
âSwear to God, I wish to hell Gracie hadnât been able to identify them or read their fucking thoughts so I could have killed them on the spot. And it wouldnât have been slow, Lizzie. I would have repaid them for every mark they put on you. For every thought of terror they drove into your mind. And for making you doubt even for a moment that the people who care most about you wouldnât make it to save you in time.â
âDane,â she choked out, reaching up to touch his arm. âDo you honestly think I would have lasted as long as I did if I hadnât known youâd come? You know what I went through and you know most people would have given up. Accepted the inevitable. Even prayed for the end so they could escape. I stayed alive because I knew you and the others would come, that you would have never given up, and I knew we would make every last one of them pay, not just for what they did to me. But for what they did to the other women. Never for a minute think I lost faith in you.â
He shook his head as if rejecting her absolute belief, her unwavering faith in him .
âStill, I should have seen how this affected you. I should have fucking sat on you and insisted you stand down when we took them out. Instead you were nearly killed and swear to God, my heart fucking stopped. I thought I was having a heart attack and if itâs all the same, I donât ever want to go through that again.â
Her eyes narrowed because now she was getting pissed. She was asking for vacation, not for an analysis of her mental stateâor lack thereof.
âAm I or am I not cleared for vacation?â she snapped. âOr do I need to remind you that I havenât had so much as a day off in the
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