With Abandon: With or Without, Book 3 by J. L. Langley

trying to peer in the box. “What is that?”
    “A color identifier.” Aubrey dug through the foam peanuts and pulled out the little black box.
    “What?” Carson looked at Aubrey like he’d sprouted another head.
    “I bought it for Matt. You point this end at something and it will tell you the color.” He pointed the gadget at his tie and pushed the button.
    “Dark red,” the electronic voice announced.
    Oh, that’s too cool. Aubrey grinned. The question was, who was going to drive who crazy with it? He pointed it at Carson’s shirt and pushed the button.
    “Pale gray.”
    Carson chuckled. “Yeah, you definitely need help. I’ll start by ordering Matt flowers from you or something.”
    Aubrey froze with the identifier halfway to his own shirt. That was exactly what he didn’t need. There could be no hint of a relationship with Matt. “As far as anyone knows Matthew is my roommate. A friend of my brother’s who needed a place to stay while going to college.”
    He set the black box down and sank into his chair. “Go home and get what you need to be at work tomorrow. I’ll call downstairs and arrange a suite for your use.”
    As Carson left, Aubrey laid his head back on his chair and stared up at the ceiling. His conscience ate at him. He should be looking for a wife, not playing with Matt. Was it so bad that he wanted to enjoy Matt for a little bit? He could let Matt go when the time came. He had no choice, and he always did what had to be done.
     
    “Do you know any gay bars in the area?”
    Matt completely missed the last step out of the lecture hall and would’ve face-planted if Jordan hadn’t grabbed his arm to steady him. Not only had he not expected that question, he hadn’t realized Jordan was gay. “Um, no. Sorry not my thing.” Maybe he was prudish, but going to a bar to pick up guys was as foreign to him as ballet or opera. Did he seem like the type to do such a thing?
    Letting go of Matt’s arm, Jordan frowned. “Aren’t you gay?”
    “Uh, yeah. I’m not into the whole bar scene though.” Matt frowned. Why does everyone seem to know I’m gay? First Keaton, now Jordan. “I didn’t know you were gay.”
    Jordan shrugged. “I’m bi, I guess.” Holding the door, he let Matt go outside first. “Don’t tell me you’re saving yourself for your mate or something.”
    With my parents as role models? Hell, yes. Matt snorted and tilted his head toward the gray, gloomy sky.
    “Hey, to each their own. I just figured I’d have fun while I was here before I go home and have to get married.” Jordan’s tone was on the cynical side in Matt’s opinion.
    Matt jerked his attention from the darkening clouds to Jordan. “You’re getting married? You have a mate back home?” Matt hadn’t thought he did, but if Jordan were getting married…
    “No.” Jordan blinked. “I haven’t actually picked out a wife or anything, I just know I’m going to when I get home. I’ve got to have kids and a family. It’s what’s expected…ya know?” Jordan paused for a second. “Besides, my mate is dead.” He gasped and shook his head, like he’d surprised himself. He flushed and rubbed his arms. “Wow, it’s getting cooler.” He rushed on like he hadn’t seconds before revealed such a heartrending personal thing.
    Oh God, how horrible. Matt was chilled too, but not because of the weather. “I’m so sorry.” He wanted to ask how Jordan’s mate had died, but he obviously didn’t want to talk about it. What must that be like? Matt had just found his mate, but already he knew he wouldn’t want to be without him…not like that at least. He wanted to call Aubrey, to talk to him and make certain he was okay.
    “Er, thanks. I can’t believe I blurted that out. You’re so easy to talk to,” he grumbled. Shrugging, he lightened his tone. “I try to look on the bright side. At least now I get to pick my mate.” Stuffing his hands in his front pockets, Jordan continued out to the parking