reminding her of all the times she’d sat on top of one of the picnic tables, dreaming of one day being a part of those lights. “It is good,” she said, feeling as if her real life were a million miles away.
“One of those lights belongs to you now.”
“Yes. I have a beautiful house in the Marina. You can see the Golden Gate Bridge from the large bay window in my bedroom.”
“Your mom said it was nice.”
She walked over to the merry-go-round and put her hand on the cold metal. “I used to love this. I’d spin and spin and spin until I was so dizzy I couldn’t think straight.”
“I remember. Want to give it a try?”
She shook her head. “I’m already feeling off balance.” She walked toward the swings and took a seat. She put her hands in the chain links and gave a little kick.
Alex came up behind her and gave her a push. “You always liked to swing high and fast, as if you could somehow catapult yourself into another dimension.”
She smiled. He wasn’t far off. She remembered wanting to watch her toes touch the sky. “Not tonight,” she said, as he pushed her a little harder.
“You’re more cautious now, aren’t you?”
“I grew up.”
“And lost your guts along the way?”
“I wouldn’t say that – exactly.” Although, there was a little truth to his words. “I don’t want to lose what I have.”
“Why would you?”
She didn’t answer right away, then said, “My husband might leave me.”
“Maybe you should leave him,” Alex suggested.
“I couldn’t do that. I have children. They need their father.”
“Do they have their father?”
She defended him automatically. “Blake's work is important. He could be a good leader.”
“Is his work more important than his children? Than you?”
“I don’t want to talk about him with you.” She stopped the swing with her foot and jumped off, stumbling a little in her high heels.
Alex moved to her side. “Are you all right?”
“This was a mistake.”
“Why?”
His warm breath blew against her cheek as he moved in closer. Her body tingled. This was Alex, the man she’d loved and adored for half her life. But that half of her life was over, she told herself. “I didn’t come back here to find you, Alex,” she said bluntly. “I came to find my mother.”
“No, you didn’t,” he said with certainty in his gaze. “This trip wasn’t about your mom or me. It was about you. You came back to find yourself.”
His words struck home. “Do you think I’m lost?” she whispered.
“Don’t you?”
“It’s just that it’s my birthday, and I’m forty, and I feel…” She couldn’t find the right adjective.
“Lost,” he finished.
She gazed into his eyes. “I thought I had what I always wanted, Alex.”
“Even though you didn’t have me?”
“I loved you, but that was a lifetime ago. We were on different paths. We wanted different things. We were kids.”
“Just because we were young doesn’t mean we didn’t have real love, Carly.”
“I wish you'd gone with me, Alex. But you were so determined to stay here.”
“I couldn’t go. My dad was sick, and you were too impatient to wait.”
“That wasn’t the only reason you stayed. You liked this neighborhood. This was your place, and it still is.”
“That’s true,” he said with a nod. “I do care about this community, even more than I did back then. And maybe I used my father’s illness as a reason to stay behind because deep down I knew we weren’t going to end up together. I was going to be in your shadow. You were looking for a brighter star. You wanted more than I could give you.”
“You hate me, don’t you?”
“I’ve tried, Carly,” he said finally. “You don’t know how hard.”
“My name is Carole. Everyone calls me that now.”
“Everyone but me. You’ll always be Carly to me – stubborn, exasperating, ambitious Carly.”
“And you’ll always be stubborn, exasperating, unambitious Alex. We’re right back
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