to broach afresh that very morn, but ere I could present this concern I was called to the emperor, and found His Majesty with the queen mother of Montagne, the two of them deep in a discussion, curiously enough, on customs duties. Concluding their conversation as I arrived, the emperor requested that I give Her Majesty a tour of Circus Primus if I was not otherwise occupied. As his wish is but my command, I could not conceive of refusing.
The regal old woman occupied my attention for some time, and while I did indeed have multitudinous other responsibilities, I must confess I found her delightful, her flattering queries providing me copious opportunities to display my mastery of dueling, an expertise I now brought to Circus Primus. She expressed an extraordinary interest in the Globe d'Or and my considerable efforts to put to use the Sultan's Throne. (Here I pause in my transcriptions to curse yet again that damnable sultan, who in all his alleged generosity failed to include
instructions
with his gift; though I play the fool brilliantly, I prefer to do so of my own volition, and that bewildering collection of twigs and cables, the entirety as insubstantial as a kite, baffled even my substantial genius.) Displaying the seamless tact of the true patrician, she murmured sympathy for the ineptitude with which I was surrounded, and politely focused her attention elsewhere during this latest fruitless battle with that impossible device. Departing at last, she thanked me most graciously for my many anecdotes, and with haste did I finalize the night's performance, my acumen all the more visible given the brief time frame Her Majesty's visitation had imposed upon my genius.
From the Desk of the Queen Mother of Montagne, & Her Cat
My Dearest Temperance, Queen of Montagne,
Granddaughter, despondency fills me so, I scarce have strength to pen these words. Oh, what I would give for a letter from you at this moment, some cheer to gladden my heart! The mail riders, however, continue to arrive at the city gates empty-handed, or so it is reported to me by Phraugheloch's staff. I know you to be a most diligent correspondent, and moreover—as I reassure my suspicious soul—I cannot imagine who besides myself would have interest in your news, were anyone in Froglock so diabolical as to steal mail. Thus stranded, I am left instead to cheer myself, and at this task, too, I fail utterly.
His Imperial Majesty, as you may recall, having called me to his quarters, once I arrived did not delay a moment in querying me about ... taxation! Truly! Were the situation any less dire, his interest in finance would be most endearing. Apparently he considers Montagne a model of equitableness, and had prepared a great sheaf of questions, pausing in his interrogation only long enough to assure me that he "labors unfailingly for circus and empire."
Note, dear Teddy: circus and empire , not Princess Wisdom or Montagne! The consequences of your sister's slatternly exposure, particularly in regard to Farina—which she will ultimately be expected to rule!—concern him not in the least. Never once, no matter how I strove to turn the conversation, did I have opportunity to demand Dizzy be excused from performing. Instead, satisfied that he had extracted all possible information, he dismissed me without adieu. Gaping rather like a fish, I found myself returned to the tent's threshold with instructions to tour Circus Primus—a rare boon, or so I was informed by the guide inflicted upon me. Oh, was I distraught at my failure! And for the emperor to send me off like a schoolchild to busy myself admiring his dratted ensemble ... He could not have flaunted any more clearly—and yet in so indifferent a manner—his authority over Dizzy and me and all of Montagne!
So it was that I most indignantly found myself conducted through the circus bowels by a short little man who has the highest opinion of himself of any individual I have ever encountered, the sole possible
The regal old woman occupied my attention for some time, and while I did indeed have multitudinous other responsibilities, I must confess I found her delightful, her flattering queries providing me copious opportunities to display my mastery of dueling, an expertise I now brought to Circus Primus. She expressed an extraordinary interest in the Globe d'Or and my considerable efforts to put to use the Sultan's Throne. (Here I pause in my transcriptions to curse yet again that damnable sultan, who in all his alleged generosity failed to include
instructions
with his gift; though I play the fool brilliantly, I prefer to do so of my own volition, and that bewildering collection of twigs and cables, the entirety as insubstantial as a kite, baffled even my substantial genius.) Displaying the seamless tact of the true patrician, she murmured sympathy for the ineptitude with which I was surrounded, and politely focused her attention elsewhere during this latest fruitless battle with that impossible device. Departing at last, she thanked me most graciously for my many anecdotes, and with haste did I finalize the night's performance, my acumen all the more visible given the brief time frame Her Majesty's visitation had imposed upon my genius.
From the Desk of the Queen Mother of Montagne, & Her Cat
My Dearest Temperance, Queen of Montagne,
Granddaughter, despondency fills me so, I scarce have strength to pen these words. Oh, what I would give for a letter from you at this moment, some cheer to gladden my heart! The mail riders, however, continue to arrive at the city gates empty-handed, or so it is reported to me by Phraugheloch's staff. I know you to be a most diligent correspondent, and moreover—as I reassure my suspicious soul—I cannot imagine who besides myself would have interest in your news, were anyone in Froglock so diabolical as to steal mail. Thus stranded, I am left instead to cheer myself, and at this task, too, I fail utterly.
His Imperial Majesty, as you may recall, having called me to his quarters, once I arrived did not delay a moment in querying me about ... taxation! Truly! Were the situation any less dire, his interest in finance would be most endearing. Apparently he considers Montagne a model of equitableness, and had prepared a great sheaf of questions, pausing in his interrogation only long enough to assure me that he "labors unfailingly for circus and empire."
Note, dear Teddy: circus and empire , not Princess Wisdom or Montagne! The consequences of your sister's slatternly exposure, particularly in regard to Farina—which she will ultimately be expected to rule!—concern him not in the least. Never once, no matter how I strove to turn the conversation, did I have opportunity to demand Dizzy be excused from performing. Instead, satisfied that he had extracted all possible information, he dismissed me without adieu. Gaping rather like a fish, I found myself returned to the tent's threshold with instructions to tour Circus Primus—a rare boon, or so I was informed by the guide inflicted upon me. Oh, was I distraught at my failure! And for the emperor to send me off like a schoolchild to busy myself admiring his dratted ensemble ... He could not have flaunted any more clearly—and yet in so indifferent a manner—his authority over Dizzy and me and all of Montagne!
So it was that I most indignantly found myself conducted through the circus bowels by a short little man who has the highest opinion of himself of any individual I have ever encountered, the sole possible
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