Putting those aside with the gun, I checked for traffic and again picked him up by the armpits and dragged him to the ledge, where I set him down and rolled him over the side.
He landed on the slope below with a sickening thud, then slid down and went over the edge into the trees. From where I was standing, I couldn’t see his body, but he had left a good amount of blood on the rock. Hopefully the rain would do a cleaning job before the blood dried. I looked back at Jess, who was just staring at me, then I looked over the edge of the cliff again.
I had just killed a man. This was for real now.
Chapter 11
I was waiting for the nausea. Wouldn’t that be the natural reaction to your first kill? Shouldn’t I have been bent over vomiting and wondering how I could have just done that?
No. Other than a little shortness of breath and some shaking, I felt fine. And those were merely the after-effects of the adrenaline rush. It’s amazing what you can do when you’ve hit rock bottom and no longer care. Of course, that wasn’t exactly true. I cared about Jess. But that was simply another reason why the man’s death meant nothing to me. I was protecting her. He had come to kill us, for no other purpose than he was paid to do so. Should I have really given a second thought to ending his life? I didn’t think so.
For Jess, though, it was a different story. Reality had caught up with her, and had hit her hard. She was sitting by the wall hyperventilating. I hurried over to her as she took in great gasps of air. I guided her head between her knees and rubbed her back, trying all the time to talk her down. I spoke in calming tones, telling her it would be alright, dehumanizing the man who had come to kill us, and letting her know that it was our right to fight back.
She was a mess. Tears were flowing and she was sobbing, while at the same time choking on her sobs, unable to breathe. I was afraid I was going to lose her.
“Jess,” I continued, “I’m falling in love with you. Do you understand? You’ve given me something to live for. There is no way in hell anybody is going to take that away from me. If we’re going to win this, we’re going to have to be willing to come down to their level. We may have to kill again. We have to take apart their machine piece by piece, coldly and logically, with no emotions. We will win this.”
I kept talking, knowing that this was a crucial moment. Her future survival depended on how she made it out of this crisis. After about fifteen minutes the gasps slowly began to lessen, then disappeared altogether. She finally lifted her head and I saw that the tears were gone. But she was fragile, oh so fragile. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she was a mess, but she seemed to be functioning again.
“Do you really love me?” she asked, her voice a hoarse whisper.
“I do.”
She put her arms around me and we just sat there behind the wall, not saying a word. I could hear cars come into the overlook parking area and stay for a few minutes, then leave. Occasionally someone would get out and stand by the wall looking out at the view, then it would become quiet again as they left. I glanced up at the sky and saw the dark clouds rolling back in. It would soon be pouring.
“We should go,” I said quietly.
“Not yet. I have to tell you something. When you were talking to me, The Voice was also talking—comforting me, just as you were.”
“You were being double-teamed?”
She tried to smile, without much success. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“What did it say?”
“There weren’t many words. It was more feelings and emotions. While you were using words like ‘win’ and ‘cold’ and ‘logical’, The Voice was sending those sensations through me, as if it was showing me what they would feel like and why they were important. Like a tutorial to go along with the text.”
“I’m beginning to really appreciate this Voice,” I said.
“Because of the two of you I understand now
He landed on the slope below with a sickening thud, then slid down and went over the edge into the trees. From where I was standing, I couldn’t see his body, but he had left a good amount of blood on the rock. Hopefully the rain would do a cleaning job before the blood dried. I looked back at Jess, who was just staring at me, then I looked over the edge of the cliff again.
I had just killed a man. This was for real now.
Chapter 11
I was waiting for the nausea. Wouldn’t that be the natural reaction to your first kill? Shouldn’t I have been bent over vomiting and wondering how I could have just done that?
No. Other than a little shortness of breath and some shaking, I felt fine. And those were merely the after-effects of the adrenaline rush. It’s amazing what you can do when you’ve hit rock bottom and no longer care. Of course, that wasn’t exactly true. I cared about Jess. But that was simply another reason why the man’s death meant nothing to me. I was protecting her. He had come to kill us, for no other purpose than he was paid to do so. Should I have really given a second thought to ending his life? I didn’t think so.
For Jess, though, it was a different story. Reality had caught up with her, and had hit her hard. She was sitting by the wall hyperventilating. I hurried over to her as she took in great gasps of air. I guided her head between her knees and rubbed her back, trying all the time to talk her down. I spoke in calming tones, telling her it would be alright, dehumanizing the man who had come to kill us, and letting her know that it was our right to fight back.
She was a mess. Tears were flowing and she was sobbing, while at the same time choking on her sobs, unable to breathe. I was afraid I was going to lose her.
“Jess,” I continued, “I’m falling in love with you. Do you understand? You’ve given me something to live for. There is no way in hell anybody is going to take that away from me. If we’re going to win this, we’re going to have to be willing to come down to their level. We may have to kill again. We have to take apart their machine piece by piece, coldly and logically, with no emotions. We will win this.”
I kept talking, knowing that this was a crucial moment. Her future survival depended on how she made it out of this crisis. After about fifteen minutes the gasps slowly began to lessen, then disappeared altogether. She finally lifted her head and I saw that the tears were gone. But she was fragile, oh so fragile. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she was a mess, but she seemed to be functioning again.
“Do you really love me?” she asked, her voice a hoarse whisper.
“I do.”
She put her arms around me and we just sat there behind the wall, not saying a word. I could hear cars come into the overlook parking area and stay for a few minutes, then leave. Occasionally someone would get out and stand by the wall looking out at the view, then it would become quiet again as they left. I glanced up at the sky and saw the dark clouds rolling back in. It would soon be pouring.
“We should go,” I said quietly.
“Not yet. I have to tell you something. When you were talking to me, The Voice was also talking—comforting me, just as you were.”
“You were being double-teamed?”
She tried to smile, without much success. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“What did it say?”
“There weren’t many words. It was more feelings and emotions. While you were using words like ‘win’ and ‘cold’ and ‘logical’, The Voice was sending those sensations through me, as if it was showing me what they would feel like and why they were important. Like a tutorial to go along with the text.”
“I’m beginning to really appreciate this Voice,” I said.
“Because of the two of you I understand now
Similar Books
